Kim, My heart goes out to , you it really does.Things will get better, we all take varying times to go through the grieving process.What I found helped me, is to accept these stages as normal and go with them.There are some good books on the subject, I wont recommend any as I feel you need to go to a good book shop and choose your own.
It took me ages to get over my mum and I used to be embarrassed about that, as I was a grown woman.But we are all different and react in different ways.