This is a tough one Kaye because you need to separate your feelings as a Mum from those of a wife. Share the responsbility of the chldren, see what kind of a Dad he really is. He may turn out to be wonderful, he may (which is often the case) turn out to be a big let down. Let him see the children, regardless of her being there, she needs to know what life with him entails. In fact, encourage it. When you start to get over him (yes you will!) you will need time for you.
What the other ladies have said is true, the children will make up their own minds - and they will remember what a wonderful loving Mum they have, who let them do so.
Hugs for you, it is hard.
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