My children were 3 and 6 when their father left to live with another woman. I refused to let them visit her but he took them anyway and told them not to tell me. As soon as they came home they told me and we had the most awful argument about it. Eventually they did meet her and they went for days out with her but never liked her and even told him that they did not want to see her.
On one occassion he took the children on holiday for a week and arranged for her to join them two days later as a 'surprise' for the children. They were really upset as they had been looking forward to spending quality time with their father. What really upset me however was the fact that he left the two boys alone in their hotel room, in a strange place, at night while he took her out for a meal and a drink on several occasions. When I found out I stopped him seeing the boys for a few months, they were happier and he didnt seeem bothered. He continued to let the boys down, if she wanted to go out they were told he couldnt see them that weekend and eventually the visits stopped completely.
He stayed in touch very infrequently until they were grown up and even now only gets in contact when he wants their help to do work around his house.
I wouldnt worry too much, do what is best for you and the children, they will make their own minds up about her and there is no way she will ever take your place in their lives,in fact you will become much closer to them as you are their only resident parent and will share every aspect of their lives. My two sons are grown up now but we are still very close and they are still very protective and caring of me.
It is very difficult at the time but things will work out, tell the children the truth about the situation so they are not confused or worried about what is happening. A lot of their friends will be in the same situation and this will help them to cope.
Good luck
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