Thanks for all of your kind replies and good wishes. He is still in limbo at the moment, doesn't know what he wants to do but I am feeling really strong and confident today and I actually feel like HE is the victim not me! Especially after I found out today that although she has a good job, the slut's OH is a jobless, drunken abuser!! My OH just cannot see the wood for the trees and I actually pity him. I hhave asked him to think about why she didn't contact him for 20 years if she loved him so much but he has no answers. I am striving to show that I can get by quite well without him but at the same time have laid my cards on the table and told him I don't want us to split up. There are other complications as to why they both have not just took off and shacked up together which I am pleased about as it will give him more time to think. At the end of the day, even if he chooses me, it may not work out for us but I know exactly where we went wrong and I would make sure we didn't go down that road again. There is the added problem that I would find it very difficult to trust him again but I have an ace up my sleeve for that one!!