Sue_Scripture
member
Reged: 22/05/2008
Posts: 238
Loc: Grove Park, SE London
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Re: Help! Advice for a bride-to-be
20/06/2008 17:25
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As an ex-counsellor who used to do loads of marriage guidance, one thing I used a lot was the image of a table. Each one of us in a relationship is like one side of the table (or two legs if you think literally). Each person needs to work equally hard to keep the relationship (or the tabletop) straight so that it can be built on. Each person is an individual and should be treated as such, with space to do things apart from each other as well as together, that's why you have the tabletop between you = you are not one half of each other, the relationship is held up between you. And is it better to be right all the time and lonely or to be wrong and admit it and work at the relationship together. Looking at the relationship as a separate entity to each individual is a good way to look at it. I sometimes used the image of a bank account. How healthy is yours? Are you overdrawn or in credit and why? What can you do if you are overdrawn? A relationship is a lifetime investment after all. Another one I use in my relationship with my lovely husband is to imagine that he is in earshot if I'm talking about him. I'd hate to have him hear some of the things I want to say, but consequently don't say, except to him about him. Just in case you think I'm totally sickening and nauseating let me add that this is my third marriage so I have made many many mistakes in my life so far and I really appreciate my husband. You both need to speak each other's language, too. Learn to share love by giving your partner what he/she wants, not what you think he she wants.
Hope that helps!
 xxxSuexxx
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