Had a big row with Mr Ding before we left for work this morning and it's left me wondering whether it's all worthwhile
I know every relationship has it's problems but I like to think of us as "Dings plc" where each partner does the best they can to keep the "company" going. For quite a while now, I've been feeling that my efforts are just not being appreciated.
The last year has been tough. We've each lost one of our parents, I've had to rebuild my relationship with my mother, Mr Ding has taken on a new business etc etc Through all this, I've tried to stay cheerful and not moan when other people/things have had to come first, but I cannot accept slogging my guts out emotionally and physically without any type of appreciation from the man who should be giving me support.
Yesterday Mr D decided he wanted a "day off". He is knackered from working long hours during the week and on Saturday he spent several hours laying our patio which is turning out to be a more complicated job than we thought it would be. Fine But why did I get to the end of the day feeling like I'd been invisible all day? I know all the guff about Men being from Mars and liking to retreat into their caves but he just sat there all day on his laptop and we hardly spoke. We so rarely get a day when we haven't got something that demands our attention so why did he not want to include me in his "day off"? For all the notice he took of me, I might as well have been another cushion on the sofa!!
I was so upset by bedtime that I got up after a few minutes (Mr Ding was pretending to be asleep) and went to sleep on the spare bed as I would rather be lonely on my own than with him IYKWIM
This morning I tried to have a sensible conversation with him and he told me that he was worried about whether he had done the right thing in buying the business - fair enough, I've been thinking the same myself - but my offers to sit down tonight and talk it through were shouted down. I told him how bad he'd made me feel yesterday but he just didn't want to know It's just him, him, him all the time
I WANT to make things work but there are only so many times you can bang your head against a brick wall. It just seems that it's me who is prepared to all the compromising and even then he doesn't appreciate what I do - or if he does he seems incapable of showing it, which is equally demoralising!
Not sure what I'm hoping to achieve by posting this - just venting maybe - but I've got to get it off my chest.
Thanks for listening
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Is it unreasonable to expect to be appreciated?
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