rosettastone
member
Reged: 11/03/2008
Posts: 794
Loc: Kent/Surrey borders
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Hi
some of you may remember that OH has a sister in the USA who has money problems. Well we are due to visit there soon...but OH has received an e mail from one of SILs female friends who is also living in the US. This woman made contact with us over a year ago when SIL was ill and couldn't let us know herself. But that was the last we heard. Until now.
SIL is fine but the friend has lent SIL some money about 3000 dollars and hasn't been paid back.So now the friend has e mailed OH suggesting we send SIL some money to help his sister out and also happened to mention that SIL hasn't paid her back yet.
the entire e mail is weighted to make OH feel guilty about his sisters situation . I think this woman wants her money back and thinks that if we send out some money this will make her loan be repaid that much quicker. OH is considering his response. We won't be sending money . I think we should politely tell this woman , who we have never met , to get lost.
What do you think?
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carpe diem - seize the day!
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Foxie
member
Reged: 09/08/2007
Posts: 8034
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Just wondering............ she may not be the only one who has lent your SIL money. I would not pay her either, you only have her word for it. Why should you be responsible for SILs debts? If you do pay, it would probably be the thin end of the wedge.... Good luck in a very difficult situation. Once you are in the USA you can see the situation for yourself.
F x.
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I've learnt that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Maya Angelou.
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carsma
member
Reged: 13/02/2009
Posts: 3360
Loc: Berks
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I agree with Foxie, you shouldn't send any money or it will escalate.
Judge the situation for yourselves when you get there. Maybe you can help her sort her finances out and sort out some king of repayment to this woman, if she did actually lend her the money. If you pay off her debts, you'll end up by this happening all the time, better to try and get her sorted.
Good luck.
Carsma x
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gumpenscot
member
Reged: 17/06/2009
Posts: 502
Loc: Germany
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I agree, this might be the thin end of the wedge. And you only have this woman's word that money was lent. Call me cynical, but I'd say there's a strong possibility there's a scam going on here.
I'd advise you to play it by ear, but only when you get there. Even then, as Carsma says, if you start, it'll go on and on. You'll be the goose laying the golden egg.
Good luck
gumpenscot x
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issi
member
Reged: 30/09/2007
Posts: 3746
Loc: London
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I would not respond to the e-mail at all. This is nothing to do with you, whether it is true or not. Ignore the woman.
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chilla
member
Reged: 05/09/2008
Posts: 6302
Loc: runcorn
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Well said issi. Your SIL is her own woman, it's her problem. The other woman loaned your SIL money of her own volition, it is entirely down to her to recover it or come to any arrangement she feels suitable.
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I have the talent of single-minded determination and foc....hey, look, dog!
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Splash123
member
Reged: 04/05/2008
Posts: 4098
Loc: South Glamorgan
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Yes I agree ....dont get involved with this woman....you may have to be involved with the sister ....but not with some woman you have never met....
Be careful....very careful..
Good Luck..
xx
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http://www.visitcardiff.com/What-to-do-and-see.html
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ChrissiFi
member
Reged: 28/06/2006
Posts: 2621
Loc: Somerset
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This is SO NOT YOUR PROBLEM. Firstly why should you and your OH bail out his S? Secondly this woman says she's a friend of his S so surely she knew what a bad risk lending the money was (more likely to know than you two are). It's not your problem and neither of you should feel guilty. If you help out one of her friends (who by the way, may or may not have lent money - could be a ploy by S to get money from you!) there are almost certain to be more similar demands.
I'd just tell her "No, this is not my problem - S is an adult and has to take responsibility for her own affairs." and then block her email address so it doesn't continue.
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rosettastone
member
Reged: 11/03/2008
Posts: 794
Loc: Kent/Surrey borders
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Hi
I discussed with OH about blocking the e mail, that sounds like a good idea. So far OH hasn't responded.I think we'll ignore it for the moment . I feel like giving her a piece of my mind though.
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carpe diem - seize the day!
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