shell1966
member
Reged: 05/07/2009
Posts: 12
Loc: Manchester
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Anyone married for the second time 'round and their husband's ex wife is a right bitch?
My hubbies ex wife is German and he has a 12 year old son. they both live back in Germany and she is so nasty. They got divorced 3 years ago and he has been paying maintenance not just for his son but for her too, because she never worked he had to keep her in the life style she had been used to. She has more rights being in Germany too, but that's a different story!
Anyway he has been out of work for the past 12 weeks and she has not been getting the big fat sum of money each month. He does not get to see his son very often as she is so awkward. He was due to come over this week and spend two weeks with us. My hubbie was so excited and at the last minute she has stopped him from coming.
I don't care about her but he is so upset deep down and I feel it is so sad when people split up and use their children to get back at each other.
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BeauSoleil
member
Reged: 26/03/2008
Posts: 3891
Loc: France
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Shell, unfortunately this seems to happen such a lot. It's not much help saying that the children will realise eventually as by then they will be older and the 'younger years' will have passed them by. I know this doesn't help you or your OH at all but just wanted to say I agree with you. I am wife no'2 but fortunately no children and no contact whatsoever. (Never seen her, no photo, no nothing-well and truly forgotten!!). I think women who use their children in this way are wicked and vindictive.
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anner06
member
Reged: 18/03/2008
Posts: 829
Loc: Northamptonshire
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I totally agree that she should not use their child in this way, but as an ex wife, left with 2 children to bring up alone, whilst ex moved in with someone 15 years younger than me, I can understand bitterness. What I am trying to say, and probably not very well is, I think the circumstances of the split will have alot to do with how she behaves and feels. If the split involved affairs, unfaithfulness or deceit, then yes she will be bitter, and it is probably hard for her to see and hear of him being happy in a new relationship. However, as I said at the beginning, she should not use a child to manipulate or hurt him.
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suejane
member
Reged: 04/10/2008
Posts: 453
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It seems the ex wife from hell is being vindictive because she hasnt had her money. Could your OH go to Germany to fetch him?The boy does have rights, so maybe a solicitor might be needed if she is going to keep doing this?
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JulieJ
member
Reged: 29/12/2008
Posts: 555
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I agree with anner - it all depends why their marriage broke up.
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MrsBucket
member
Reged: 29/09/2007
Posts: 475
Loc: Kent
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sometimes the reasons why the relationship ended is not the reason why people behave in this way although I agree it can have a bearing. My S and his partner seperated 2 years ago as they were not making each other happy and they both totally agreed with this. However we have spent the past 18 mths paying for and fighting a court battle for my S to get parental rights and reasonable contact. She only agreed when her legal aid stopped.
His partner had always said she would never stop him seeing his D but this changed once they seperated. We have had to stand by and support him and our GD and it is such a relief to have the contact arrangements agreed in court. Although she is still trying to stop him speaking to his D and we are keeping notes and will take it back to court if necessary.
I sympathise with your OH and yourself as the emotions run very high. I would suggest that you keep detailed records of times and dates of contact and any changes made and go and get legal advice.
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