MAC57
member
Reged: 07/05/2009
Posts: 12
Loc: East Lothian
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everytime l think about it the tears start to flow. My grandson will be nearly four and the baby which is due in september will be a year old when their visa finally comes through. They are hoping to leave in June 2010 to Australia l know that we will be able to talk over the webcam but its not the same is it? l'm thrilled that she is so happy but trying to keep cheerful when she talks about it is so difficult. l know what the answers are but l just needed to sound off a bit
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Thimble
member
Reged: 04/12/2008
Posts: 4325
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First, welcome to the forum.
It must be a wrench for you. Is she an only child? Would you have the means to save and go out to visit? Could you not go as well?
Lots of questions I know. If I was 20 years younger (I am 60 this year) I would be off like a shot. I love the country.
I can imagine how hard it is going to be for you to let her go but she will make a great life for herself and the children out there. You are being very brave by keeping cheerful when she is talking about it and being so excited by it all.
We are here whenever you want to sound off - just need some support or some comfort. That is what is so good about this forum.
Take care...............thimble
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skippy
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Reged: 08/01/2008
Posts: 2128
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Hi Mac - welcome to the forum. I know it must be devastating for you. A friend of mine did the same thing three years ago and it affected her parents really badly. When they first left they said they would never return - life was so good - but three years later they are coming home permanently.
For your daughters sake you must stay strong but keep in mind it may not be forever.
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[ima ge][/image]
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Ann1212
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Reged: 20/03/2008
Posts: 133
Loc: Staffordshire
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Hi MAC57
I know this must be very difficult - i would feel exactly the same but your daughter must believe it is the best for her and her family. All you can do is try and remain positive and start saving so you can make regular visits !!
Ann1212
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ehore
member
Reged: 12/08/2008
Posts: 57
Loc: north yorkshire
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Hi MAC57
I know exactly where your coming from my daughter emigrated to aus 2 year ago and I have missed her so much have been out there 3 x in 15 months last time was Feb when she had my first grandchild a boy kai it is good to talk on the webcam and although i can,t cuddled i see him every day and can see him making progress i take the positive out of it i am 58 and would go tomorrow if i could so would my husband we might not be able to retire out there as we have a disabled son who we wouldn't leave behind but when we do retire we plan to spend 3 mnths a year out there. a tip for you i have coffee or lunch everyday with my daughter over the webcam we catch up on all the gossip it does make me feel closer to her and i know she misses us just as much as we miss her.
hope this will help pm me if you want to keep in touch christi xx
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chessy
member
Reged: 12/02/2009
Posts: 3
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So good to hear others going through the same thing.My daughter has set the wheels in motion to emigrate to New zealand with her husband and 9month baby.I can't bear the thought of them going but the idea of having coffe over the web cam sounds good.I hope they are really happy when they go .Her husband has a job offer so probably only a matter of time till they go.I'm dreading it.
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Foxie
member
Reged: 09/08/2007
Posts: 8004
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One of my friend's daughter married an Aussie and has now gone to live in Oz and had a baby last year. They have been out to see them, but I know it is really, really hard. The coffee over the webcam sounds a really good idea.
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I've learnt that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Maya Angelou.
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alig99
member
Reged: 22/06/2008
Posts: 190
Loc: Spain, France, London
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Don't be too sad, my daughter decided to emigate to Australia when our grandson was 4. Luckily both she and her husband are very IT oriantated. So now we have our laptops in
both our kitchen's she cooking dinner, me lunch we have great big long chats sometimes over 2hours all for free using skype video. Obivously there is no phyical contact with grandson which I miss the most but on the other hand our time on the video has developed his conversational skills. I can still read him bedtime stories and I show him things I'm about to send him and when he receives them we discuss them. I made a very definate request that we speak once a week unless we/they are on holiday and do not have access to a computer.
My daughter and her family have a good quality of life in Australia, better house, better jobs and a more outdoor life both for the adults and grandson.
I hope you can remain positive 
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Chelsea
member
Reged: 06/02/2008
Posts: 1308
Loc: Essex
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Welcome to the forum MAC. I can totally understand how you feel - it's heartbreaking isn't it? When my D and her boyf went to live in NZ for a year I sobbed my eyes out (so did she!) but I actually got used to it - it would have been even better with webcam etc.
However, I realise that a year is different to Emigrating - but what is emigrating these days? Years ago, if people 'emigrated' it meant you never saw them again, these days people come and go across the continents all the time and it doesn't necessarily mean for ever - lots of couples have enjoyed the life for a few years and then come back. Can you do a visit once a year? I know it costs a fortune but you will get to know the cheapest way.
I love the idea of lunch and coffee over the web - genius! What you are feeling is only natural, I think perhaps the anticipation of them going is worse than when it happens and everyone settles down.
Have a good sob and come and have a chat with us whenever it gets to you. Big hugs { } { } { }
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Chelsea x
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Loo
member
Reged: 09/01/2008
Posts: 2365
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Yes Skype is great and its free! Australia is not that far,neither is New Zealand and great fun for a visit. I've just come back after visiting my first Grandchild. I had a lovely time. (I wouldn't go in the summer though, it's too hot!)
Loo
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...as in Looby Loo
This is me, with Andy Pandy and Teddy.
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abrightnewyear
member
Reged: 02/01/2009
Posts: 59
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Both my daughters are currently in Australia and I went out to visit them in February this year. Having got there, I can see the attraction of course. Its beautiful and a much better quality of life than over here. Having said that, my youngest is travelling and I know she will come home eventually. The elder one has a job for 4 years and then...well who knows. I keep in touch with them by email, text and phone. I do miss them but I am happy that they are doing something positive with their lives and enjoying themselves while they are young. I shall have to investigate Skype and the coffee idea - brilliant !
ABNY
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Beanie
member
Reged: 16/01/2008
Posts: 80
Loc: Maidenhead, Berkshire, UK
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I am an Aussie living in the UK temporarily. My daughter and her husband are living here until 2012 when they will come back to Australia. My OH and I are going home this year and leaving them and their now 4 month old baby boy behind.
So we ae going to be watching him grow up on Skype too, not ideal but better than nothing.
We just got back from Oz last weekend after spending three weeks there for our sons wedding, it was wonderful and has made me very homesick.
The flight is long but I always try and think of it as 24 hours with nothing to do but watch the latest movies with someone else doing the cooking. Tip for you, when you go to visit your family, having flown from Australia to the UK more times than I count, NEVER take a flight with more than one stop. We just flew Etihad airways and had two stopovers which adds so much more time to the trip (especially hard with a four month old).so unneccesary. We also try and fly a diferent route each time and if we have the time have a stopover, so we get to see some places we wouldn't normally go to and you arrive at the other end a lot fresher.
There will be floods of tears when we leave the UK just as there was when we left our son and new daughter in law last week. I'm such a girl! 
Visit your family often and long!
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Acoustic2
member
Reged: 16/04/2009
Posts: 22
Loc: France
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Hi Mac just reading your post reminded me I was in your daughter's position 15 years ago although we only moved to France which is next door really compared to Aus. My kids were small and I found it all so exciting and thrilling but hectic too that I forgot to consider my Mum's feelings. You remind me of her, she always saw the positives in all I did and remained cheerful throughout. Even today after 15 years she tells me how well the kids have turned out, how they got to do so much more as kids growing up abroad but she still misses them so much I know.
Haven't got any advice I'm afraid but I hope you get to visit often.
I've recently joined Skype too and highly recommend it. My sister in UK is expecting twins in Oct, she shows us her bump every Sunday on skype, it's good fun.
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Arty
member
Reged: 12/03/2008
Posts: 195
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my daughter and I have morning coffee together or a glass of wine in the evening sometimes.Webcam is GREAT , she can show e things she has bought, I can see that she looks well have a good peer around her room! . OK, the physical contact isnt there, but its still a wonderful way to keep in touch! I wish you all the best inletting go, its not easy is it? But us Mums are strong even if we sometimes dont feel it.
Arty.
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ChrissiFi
member
Reged: 28/06/2006
Posts: 2621
Loc: Somerset
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Mac, Skippy said it may not be forever but I think at this point you have to assume that it will be otherwise you'll never really accept it but think of those holidays you can have (start saving now!)! MIL's sister went out to Oz as a £10 pom and in those days it was almost guaranteed that you'd never see someone who emigrated again. Things are so different now - I used to know someone who for a year 'commuted' to Oz (he worked two weeks solid, came back for one week and went out again whilst his company was short staffed over there). That shows how much things have changed.
We have a number of friends who've emigrated and they all say that life is so much better. The difficult bit is the reactions of the people they leave behind - some have found it very difficult to settle knowing parents back home are still very upset (so don't let on how you feel to your daughter). I don't know anyone who's actually come back. Your daughter is so lucky to get this opportunity.
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Scarlets
member
Reged: 01/04/2007
Posts: 1889
Loc: Just across the pond
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I do feel for you. I moved away from my daughter -95 miles. I really miss her and all the family.
But - think of their quality of life. They will be far better off financially and have a wonderful outdoor life.
Save your pennies and go out as often as you can. Stay as long as you can. In the meantime get hold of Skyppe. It is wonderful.
Good luck. Hope your daughter will enjoy her life in Australia. If I was so much younger, I know where I would be going.
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jumpingjj
member
Reged: 12/03/2009
Posts: 133
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Oh I feel for you but I think you have to stay strong - easier to say than do I know.
My younger son is moving to Germany in a few months and in September my daughter is travelling for a year and then staying in Australia for a further year. Neither have children but I can't imagine what I'd be like if it was my daughters with children who were going.
Hopefully you will be able to visit and you'll see and talk to them on Skype which will help.
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Remember you are too blessed to be stressed
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amn
member
Reged: 01/05/2008
Posts: 6
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I know exactly how you feel my daughter married a canadian 6 years ago, they have a 2 year old now and one of us is always flying across the pond!! We have a web cam and speak almost every other day. It's hard missing the physical contact, there are days when i yearn to be able to hold my grandaughter and go shopping with my daughter. It doesn't get easier, I'll always miss her. They too have a much better life, which will make you happy when you visit.One tip always before leaving them plan the next trip. My thoughts are with you.
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MAC57
member
Reged: 07/05/2009
Posts: 12
Loc: East Lothian
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Thanks everyone for the advise and support. Will keep you posted.
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Scarlets
member
Reged: 01/04/2007
Posts: 1889
Loc: Just across the pond
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Your daughter obviously thinks she is doing the right thing.
Get yourself a webcam
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