dixiechick
member
Reged: 09/03/2009
Posts: 8
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You were all so very helpful with my last "problem" (which hopefully is being sorted) that I though I would put another one to you to see what comes up.
This time it is my very exhusband from 27 years ago. He took out an endowment policy on my life when we were still married, apparently, to help fund the boys upkeep should I die prematurely. Obviously I survived and the policy matured this March. Although he paid all the premiums, the maturity value was payable to me, but he forged my signature on the maturity claim form to try to get the insurance company to send the money to him rather than me.
Now I know that legally the money is mine, but morally it is his as he paid the premiums, or at least half his as we were married when he took the policy out. So the question is do I let him have all the money or do I keep some and if so, how much? The amount we are talking about is just over £8,500.
I am quite cross that he was dishonest about this, but clearly thought he could claim the money under the radar without my knowledge. Why could he not just ask for my help?
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GILL3SQ
member
Reged: 29/07/2008
Posts: 1624
Loc: Staffordshire
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Ooh hard decision. If the maturity sum was intended for your boys then I would split it sensibly between them and treat yourself. If it was meant for the kids, why should your ex have it anyway??
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tag49
member
Reged: 25/03/2009
Posts: 602
Loc: northampton
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hi
this solution probably wont suit your ex husband ,would it be possible to either give equal share to your sons or split it four ways
xx
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suejane
member
Reged: 04/10/2008
Posts: 454
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I think you should see a Solicitor or Citizens Advice asap.You could also ring the Insurance Company, he seems to have commited a fraud and they should know about it. In the end you dont want your boys to miss out due to his dishonesty. Good Luck xx
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Kipper
member
Reged: 28/01/2009
Posts: 11
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It is quite legal for him to keep the insurance policy up (not forge your signature though) but I would have thought he would have had your boys named as the benefactors on the policy if that had been his true intention. I would probably inform your ex that you are going to give the money to the kids to honour his reasons for not cancelling the policy when you divorced.
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JulieJ
member
Reged: 29/12/2008
Posts: 559
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I'm curious as to why a policy that was designed to pay for 'mothering' children in the absence of their mother due to untimely death, should have the mother the beneficiary when it matures? It seems a bit odd, really.
After all, in principle it's the same as insuring a key employeee, and then the employee getting the insurance money if they don't die causing their employer the expense of finding another employee.
As to what you should do, I agree, let the boys have it, because after all, they are the one indisputably good legacy of a failed marriage.
As to the morality issue, well, I guess it depends who was in the 'right' and who was in the 'wrong' when it came to the divorce (unless it was truly, truly mutual, as some are). If there is a clear 'bad un' in the case, then whichever of you it was, shouldn't get the money! (Trouble is, I doubt the 'bad un' thinks they are the bad un......!)
Julie.
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ChrissiFi
member
Reged: 28/06/2006
Posts: 2621
Loc: Somerset
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Why didn't your divorce solicitor insist on a deed of assignment. If he had to forge your signature then it sounds as though it was taken out in joint names and you were a beneficiary (and as such should have signed something when it was taken out I think) and not him taking out a policy on your life. I'm paying an endowment with my ex's name on it but all rights are legally assigned to me (ex and I often joke that I'm the one person who'll benefit from his death - yes, we're still good friends), in theory you can take out insurance on anyone's life regardless of whether you know them or not and wouldn't need their signature. Unless your divorce papers state that he was to keep the full amount then presumably the original policy details still stand. I think you need legal advice as endowment policies usually don't say 'the proceeds are for x and y.
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JulieJ
member
Reged: 29/12/2008
Posts: 559
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Chrissi - I always thought you COULDN'T take out life assurance on someone's life without their permission - otherwise you could oh-so-easily 'encourage' their premature demise!!!
Do hope I'm right! I'd hate to think someone's got a lucrative policy waiting to pay out on me.....!!!!
Julie
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marie50
member
Reged: 07/07/2007
Posts: 953
Loc: cleckheaton west yorkshire
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when we split, we sold all of our endowments and split the money 50-50, i used mine to go to Florida and buy a Rolex, a gift to myself if you like, for putting up with him for 24 years ! he had to use his to pay a tax bill hahahahahahahahahah !!!!!! there is a god !!!
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womanj
member
Reged: 31/03/2009
Posts: 86
Loc: Liverpool
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Hey Dixie,
I would definitely give it to the children. The intention was to use the proceeds of the policy to look after them if you should die. Give it to them and show him your continued independance of him and well done for 'surviving' as he obviously didn't think you were going to!
Seriously though, he might have paid the premiums but he is not deserving of the proceeds. If that was the case he could have taken out an ordinary endowment savings policy and just saved up that way.
You could always give the money to the kids and suggest they use it for a family holiday for all of you - minus the EX!
Good Luck
Womanj x
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dixiechick
member
Reged: 09/03/2009
Posts: 8
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Thank you all for your help. I had to give this a lot of thought and decided that whatever I did I would have to be assertive and not let him bully me as he had been inclined to do in the past.
So I rang him yesterday and said that I would be sending each of the boys a cheque, keeping a bit for myself and sending the balance to him. I explained that his original intention was to look after the boys' welfare and he must have recognised the value of having me around to look after them, so it seemed only fair that we should benefit to some degree from the payout. I also pointed out that if I had died prematurely, his life would have been very different if he had had to raise the boys on his own, so he was lucky that I survived. (Mind you I have always been fit and healthy, so it was unlikely that I would have shuffled off early anyway!) I think actually that the whole thing was an investment, rather than him being altruistic).
As you can imagine he was not happy but I said he could either accept my offer, or leave the money with me earning interest! Considering his underhanded way of dealing with the whole matter I think he did very well out of it as he is getting the lion's share of the money.
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RunGirl
member
Reged: 11/01/2008
Posts: 1342
Loc: South East London
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I think the best solution is to come up with a division of the money which you all feel is right; I agree that legally it might be all/half yours, but he did pay the premiums even after your divorce so it seems fair that he should have some benefit (depending of course on the divorce settlement). However it is unacceptable that he was so underhand.
It does seem unusual that the policies were not assigned, as Chrissfi suggests should have happened - when my ex and I divorced we had 3 policies and we assigned 2 to him (and he then continued paying the premiums) and the other to me (and I paid the premiums). Of course this all seemed a good plan until he died prematurely 2 years ago - the policy matured on his death as they were joint life policies, and while the money was clearly legally mine, it took me over a year to cash it in as I felt so guilty at profiting financially from his untimely death. It wasn't a huge sum of money but I ended up giving half of it to his two daughters from a previous marriage and just under half of the rest to charity. My view now on such policies is that unless there is a strong financial need to continue them, emotionally it is probably better to cash them in or change them from joint life.
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matula
member
Reged: 03/05/2009
Posts: 4
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This happened to me, I divided it between my two children for whom it was intended.
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