suejane
member
Reged: 04/10/2008
Posts: 441
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Hello. I am recieving counselling for Post Traumatic Stress. I want to start to improve my appearance, as i recover. I am 58 years old, 5ft.6ins tall and naturally fairhaired. Im quite slim. Any ideas ladies? I dont have a job, i care for disabled son aged 17. I just want to start to feel better. 
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Chestnut
member
Reged: 07/10/2008
Posts: 456
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You sound stunning Suejane.
Rainbow.x
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xxxSummerxxx
member
Reged: 29/03/2008
Posts: 10338
Loc: Billericay,Essex
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Suejane,If you go to the library and try and get hold of Trinny and suzannahs books as well as Colour me Beautiful.
Well done for taking steps towards making yourself feel better,im sure it isnt easy but do stay and enjoy the forum as its a great support when you are going through difficult times.
Hugs.Summer x
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lovelylady56
member
Reged: 28/10/2008
Posts: 120
Loc: Midlands
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Hello, how about also doing something to tone up your body as well? Gentle excercise such as swimming or aerobics, pilates etc would help. If you only dress up the outside, the inside may not match if you see what i mean. Excercisse helps to release endorphins, the chemicals in the brain that help promote the "feel good factor".
Good luck with the counselling.
Lovely lady.
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[image]tangledwing.wordpress.com[/image]
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ejane
member
Reged: 30/01/2008
Posts: 450
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Hi SueJane
Firstly - Good one you for taking these first steps towards appreciating yourself. I have been through a similar process but for a different reason. I find that treating myself like a 'proper lady' really helps. I have some lovely cleanser and toner and most evenings I tie back my hair with a bright red ribbon and look myself full on in the mirror as I take off the muck of the day and prepare myself for whatever the next day brings. I am learning to appreciate what I see and who I am.. It is a bit of a journey but be patient and travel hopefully.
My parents always trained me to look after my 'grooming'. They taught that you can control what happens to your outside and then you can hope that what is going on inside eventually catches up!!
with my love
ejanexx
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Sonata
member
Reged: 21/12/2006
Posts: 499
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Our local authority leisure centre runs classes for the over 50's.A one hour keep fit session with an instructor is £1.75 and not too taxing. There are about 25 ladies who go twice a week. It's a bit of a social occasion too.
Can you leave your son for about 40 minutes to do a walk maybe a couple of times a week ? I know I have forced myself to say hello to people I pass on the way even if I didn't feel like being sociable. After a while it becomes more genuine. A walking club maybe ?
How about a make up lesson in one of your local department stores?
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suejane
member
Reged: 04/10/2008
Posts: 441
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Hello there. Very very good advice. What a brilliant forum this is.I find i really can talk to you all and you understand.After the Christmas Hols when i have time i will have my hair cut and really tidy myself up. I dont have much money but i reckon with a bitof effort and time i can find decent stuff to wear.I feel awful not having a job but who would care my son if i did work outside the home. I have also enrolled on an OU History course. Not sure if this is right but i need things to do when son is at school. Husband is retired and loves just seeing how the day goes. He retired really early but i love to work. Thanks for all advice, i will act on it! xx
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annemari
member
Reged: 07/03/2008
Posts: 3102
Loc: Gloucestershire.
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Hi SueJane, Please may I say that you have got a job,it is a vocational one,but nevertheless it is a job,and the most important job that you can ever do. You know what it is don't you? Caring for your son.
That aside and sorted,have you got a college nearby to you that trains up hairdressers? they are often wanting people to go and become models for 'wannabe hairdressers' and at all times,the 'trainer' is there to watch their every step, and to make sure that you are happy,plus it is far far cheaper than the hairdressers salon. The college may also do a beauty course,and again need people who are prepared to become a model for a pupil.
As I don't know where you live,it is difficult to help much further,except to say,that if you have a Debenhams nearby,they have 'Personnal Shoppers' service available which is free by appointment,who will help you out with any outfit you want, whether it is for a 'Special Occasion' e.g.Wedding etc,New look for a new job or just to get things right in your own wardrobe and need a basic foundation on which to work from.As I said,it is a free service,but you need to be strong and not be persuaded to spend more than you want to,however,the P.A.will advise you,quite rightly,that the place to start is your underwear,for as was said to me quite recently,"You can spend as little or as much as you want to on your top clothes,but they look nothing if your underwear is all wrong"
Apart from all of the above,I agree with the others, Books, magazines and exercise are also a great starting point.
Good Luck.
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Annemari xx
 The Three Musketeers were together again at Cardiff. Summer, ChattyCathy and my 'Mum' Auntie Annemari"
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marymary
member
Reged: 16/05/2007
Posts: 789
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Perhaps also making a pact with yourself to look after your feet and hands properly? I've concentrated on my feet this year for the first time and, although it may sound silly, it's really made a difference to how I feel. Now my hands need some TLC, so they'll be next.
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blossom97
member
Reged: 02/02/2008
Posts: 4492
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All really good advice !I think working on your confidence from the inside and also focussing on your outward appearance is good...as long as you still look like YOU and dont become too obssessed on how you look.
Take a little time each day to focus on an area of your looks, that will also build confience.I alwys think starting with a good haircut and colour would make the most impact.Ask your hairdresser for a style that is low maintenance.I always colour my hair myself as it needs doing every two weeks.I have gone down the road in the past of having it coloured at the hairdressers but it cost me a fortune.I use L Oreal Excellence in frosted brown...it doesnt fade as much as some!!(recommended by a hairdresser friend of mine!)
If you cant afford books or glossy magazines, get yourself to your local library and pphotocoy articles that interest you, and keep them in a special file, to refer to.
Good luck...and most of all, keep smiling!!
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Lola
member
Reged: 18/10/2008
Posts: 160
Loc: LINCOLN Lincolnshire
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SueJane
The most important things in life are people so your job. You and people like you are treasures, this is a jpb to be VERY proud of look in the mirror and tell yourself you are one in a million.
Starting with a new hairstyle is crucial for any woman so go from there. Then visit the beauty counter at department stores (they give all sorts of trial samples etc for you to use) The sales are an ideal time for you to go try something in a new style and if you like it get it at least half price.
The OU course sound fantastic they are great courses.
This way you have looked after the outside and stimulated the inside and you natural beauty and intelligence, kindness will shine for all to see 
all the very best for 2009
Lola x
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Thimble
member
Reged: 04/12/2008
Posts: 4293
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Hi
I am a year older than you and know where you are coming from. I have decided to be a new ME in the new year as well. Have had a few problems to deal with and decided I wanted to go back to being the "ME" I use to be.
Like the others have said about trying hairdressers etc. Most hairdressers need models as well as colleges and the cost is minimal. I have cheap massages as a lady I have known for many years started her own training school and to enable the students to practice on actual bodies she offers the massage at greatly reduced price. I have had some fantastic ones and they cover all massages on offer. Worth looking for anything like this also in your area.
The other thing is, as you are about my age, a book. I got the Twiggy book for xmas and it is full of great ideas for the more "mature" lady of our age group. If you cannot afford the full price then look on ebay or amazon somewhere like that and see if someone has had it as an "unwanted" gift for xmas and wants to sell it.
Failing that if you would like I can photocopy the pages that I think might be of use to you and post them off. If this is something you would like then PM me with your address and I will do it over the next few days.
There is something else I thought about. You could go to a large department store and have free makeup advice given. Just be strong and not be pressured into buying the products just say you will go away and think about it.
Hope you have some luck. There is a lot of good advice on here so have fun finding out about it all.
Good luck
xx
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suejane
member
Reged: 04/10/2008
Posts: 441
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I live in Cardiff. There are big shops here.When son goes back to school,i will start to explore all your ideas! Happy New Year to you wonderful ladies.xx
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Foxie
member
Reged: 09/08/2007
Posts: 7838
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Hi Suejane
Good afternoon to you!
It was so nice to read your post, you sound so much more positive and ready to take charge of your life.
As usual the forumers have come up trumps and given some good advice and suggestions. I would second everything that has been said and would just add one more, would you consider going again to the club you attended earlier in the year?
Happy New Year to you - I hope lots of good things happen
Foxie x.
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I've learnt that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Maya Angelou.
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suejane
member
Reged: 04/10/2008
Posts: 441
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Hello. Yes, i am going back to the Walkfree Group again. I have to stay positive, although this Christmas period is incredibly difficult to get through with 2 males who dont like each other and just me. I have resolved NEVER to have another Christmas like this one!I would rather runaway to ancestors home in Switzerland than go through these days again!Bless you all for giving me hope .I am beginning to feel less like a go between and more of a human being. Stay with me please just a little longer. Your reward will be helping someone back to life again.xx
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gigi
member
Reged: 12/04/2008
Posts: 2473
Loc: Hampshire
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Hello suejane, I went through a similar time a few years ago. I just looked after myself, gentle exercise, facials/pedicures/manicures, mostly at home,( I didn't want anyone to influence the changes my thought process was going through and the confidence I was gaining) though I found a hairdresser who was prepared to work with me, style and blow dry my hair before anything was cut and only went ahead when we both knew exactly what I wanted.
I found a very good coffee shop where I felt comfortable to go alone, relax and read a newspaper. My big fear was that I would look like "mutton dressed as lamb" so I looked at what elegant older women in mags wore. Bit by bit I found my own style, tried on different styles of clothes and when I felt confident stocked them until I had enough to make a wardrobe change and built on that. Then it just all seemed to fall into place, I was different but still in my comfort zone.
Best wishes for your progress with the counselling.
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