Dawn68
member
Reged: 05/11/2009
Posts: 1
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Feel sorry for August, but are Issi and Row saying that women should put up and shut up for the sake of everyone else in the family? They are both right - when I'm in a good mood and don't moan about no one helping with housework etc then all is happy at our house, but if I decide to throw a wobbly especially when I have PMT then I'm accussed of being unreasonable.
Don't get me wrong I'm very happy with my life - my husband and I own our own business and we are doing very well - I have two children aged 13 and 11 - but I am expected to work all day and carry on at night with all the other chores as well.
Go to the Doctors and have a blood test and try and make some time for yourself. Easier said than done I know.
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issi
member
Reged: 30/09/2007
Posts: 3746
Loc: London
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No Dawn. To shut up is not to put up. It means to go down a different road. It is not a bad thing to get the family into a more positive mood whilst finding a way to help yourself, whatever form that takes.
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ROW
member
Reged: 16/10/2009
Posts: 179
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Hi Dawn, no im definately not saying women should put up and shut up. I know myself that I can be completely moody and crabby when I have PMS and if I give into those feelings...my whole family is going to end up feeling miserable. So I choose not to.If there are problems in a marriage, it is the problems that need resolving, being constantly stressed or exhausted and allowing those feelings free reign are not going to help with that...it will just make the whole atmosphere at home even more tense and confrontational.We owe it to our children to try to give them a happy positive environment, and if that means trying to be a positive,happy and pleasant person, even in really trying times, then that is what we must strive for. Row
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august09
member
Reged: 06/08/2009
Posts: 282
Loc: Co. Tipperary, Ireland
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Issi thanks for your advice and I appreciate what you had to say.
Believe me I don't fight with my oH there's no point. I don't inflict grumpiness on my family because it would just cause so much bad feeling in the house. Mostly I go on like a normal person and keep the good side out. I chat and 'get along' with OH because I have no choice otherwise do I? I'm feeling much better today anyway think I was just having a particularly bad day.
There are lots of people much worse off than me and life is never perfect is it?
Have to keep cheerful and take it one day at a time. Thats my plan anyway.
Thanks everyone for the support, Viva the forum. It makes a difference
ev
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Pet Shop Girl
If your dog loves you, don't seek a second opinion
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ChrissiFi
member
Reged: 28/06/2006
Posts: 2621
Loc: Somerset
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I've met Issi and I'd say her advice is good. There's no way you can change someone else so there are two alternatives - walk out (some people are too quick to jump at that option) or look at how you can change to make things better for yourself. It's all about compromise - your OH is seeing things one way, you're seeing them another. One of you has to be grown up and compromise to make things better between you and if it's not going to be him (they're just little boys after all) then it has to be you.
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scottishmags
member
Reged: 24/04/2009
Posts: 1302
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Hi august
Glad you're feeling better today - positive is the way to go
Take care of yourself
Mags
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