Bulbie
member
Reged: 23/11/2009
Posts: 15
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This might be a odd question, or a stupid one, or just plain obvious, but it's freaking me out and I'm not afraid to admit it!
I had sex with my boyfriend almost a month ago now. We split up a few days ago though. When I had the sex, he didn't wear a condom. But I am on the BC pill Logynon. I'd taken all of last month's pills on time and have not missed a single one. I started this month's pills at the right time too, and to date, again have not missed a single one. I've been on Logynon for about 18 months now, maybe missing a total of 6 pills in the whole of that time, not having sex round those times though. My periods are regular as clockwork thanks to the pill and have since (sort of) worked out that since I had sex on day 2 of my period, which normally lasts 5 days, I am most likely not going to be pregnant, as I am not very fertile at all at around that time. I've also been taking my pill perfectly for the last few months. I know all evidence suggests that I should not be pregnant, and I've done a lot of reading online about similar situations, and all evidence points to I have a very slim chance indeed of being pregnant.
I think I'm just in need of reassurance since the only thing we did differently this time was have sex on my period. I have been on this pill for a while now like I said and have had sex plenty of times with him without a condom, so it's obviously doing its job. So what are the odds that I might be pregnant this time? Why might I be freaking out so much? No symptoms are different to my usual ones building up to my period, nothing makes me feel "pregnant" if that makes any sense, yet I can't shift this worry.
I'm sorry if this seems daft girls, I think I just need a lot of reassurance in the waiting period til I get my period.  I'm not ready to be pregnant and don't think I ever will be so the prospect of a termination terrifies me, yet I couldn't give a child away, even though I don't have the health to care for a baby.
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tuzanne
member
Reged: 17/07/2009
Posts: 840
Loc: Essex
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You can never say never as no precaution is 100% foolproof but if you took all the pills then I am sure that you will be alright. I remember actually trying to get pregnant between my 2 kids and it was surprising difficult at the time. There is a window of a few days in the month when you are most fertile which is not during your period but around the week after.
Keeping fingers crossed for you as there is nothing worse than having to make such a decision about what to do about unwanted babies.
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Crafty
member
Reged: 04/10/2009
Posts: 859
Loc: West Wales
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Areyou perhaps worrying because of the split with your boyfriend. Being pregnant on your own is quite different from being pregnant with a partner to share it with. Sounds as if you'll be fine because the time you're worrying about was not your fertile period.
Probably in another few weeks you'll get the evidence that will settle your mind. Good luck.
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Bulbie
member
Reged: 23/11/2009
Posts: 15
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I never do say never, which is why I'm preparing for the prospect of the pill failing just this once. It's not like it was totally reckless sex, I am on BC, and I know and trust that he has not been sleeping around. He was even more paranoid than me when I first started sleeping with him about protection!
Like I say I think I just need the reassurance right now from anyone who'll give it to me, and whether my period comes or not this weekend (luckily its a Saturday its due so its most likely to be over or supposed to be over before I'll get a doc) I'm calling up on Monday morning to get a test done just in case. I'm under extreme stress right now as well, so if I do miss a period it might not necessarily be because I'm carrying the exes baby! Still scared though.
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Bulbie
member
Reged: 23/11/2009
Posts: 15
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Crafty, I think you're really onto something. When we were together, we did talk occasionally about having a child one day. I did become a little broody I have to admit, even though I'd find bringing up a child more difficult than most. But then I would have had him there to support me so it was all going to be ok. Now, there's a tiny chance I might be pregnant, and we're not together anymore. I know he would want to know and would encourage me to keep the baby if I was pregnant as he really wants a child of his own, but I really wouldn't want to keep it, I'm really not ready for it, not financially, not emotionally, not at all. I think that's what's causing the most stress. He lives 90 miles away as well so I'd most likely have to always take the child to him since his family have made him believe his epilepsy and blindness preventing him from travelling any distance.
So yes, you're probably right on the money. I'd be alone in this pregnancy, and I know I couldn't cope with that.
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scottishlady
member
Reged: 31/08/2009
Posts: 286
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Bulbie if nothing happens over the weekend you have to see a doctor,for if by chance you should be pregnant you have about one of the biggest decisions of your life to make and you cannot leave it too far into the pregnancy if you did want a termination,have you any family who would support you if you were pregnant,if you are give a lot of thought to your descision ,as an ex maternity nurse I have seen girls decide to have a termination and regret it afterwards,I wish you the best of luck maybe it wont be as bad as you think.I would be happy to hear how you get on,if you want to send me a P O
Scottishlady.
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Bulbie
member
Reged: 23/11/2009
Posts: 15
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Hi scottishlady. I'm fairly certain I will get my period this weekend, been getting the usual PMS symptoms, nothing is different. But obviously I have enough of a concern to post on here, and I'm glad that you, and ex maternity nurse, and the others of course have given me your advice so far.
In the last few months I've been watching my weight closely. I've always been underweight, just couldn't keep weight on til I started taking the pill at 19 after my first boyfriend forced himself on me. I was on microgynon then. If anything, over the last month, I've lost a couple of pounds rather than put it on. My tum is always a little rounded, I have IBS, which plays up fairly frequently. I also have fibromyalgia, part of that causes twitches anywhere in my body, some of those being in my tummy. Fibro sufferers who've had kids tell me this twitching we get feels exactly like a baby kicking. I'm not saying I'm feeling a baby kicking, rather just saying thoughts in my head out loud. I always joked with the ex about how would I even know if I was pregnant when all this goes on for me on a daily basis? Didn't realise just how serious it might all get one day.
Like I said though if nothing happens over the weekend I'm making an appointment anyway. Even if my period comes I'll make the appointment, just to be sure. I've been taking my birth control perfectly, but I'll be using condoms with it as well alongside from now on. I never want another month like this again.
I wasn't planning on waiting ages into the pregnancy to find out or figure out what I'd do with the baby, I know that if I was pregnant and wanted a termination, it's best done before 9 weeks, and I'm way too paranoid to leave it much longer than 4-5. I know most people would beg me to keep the child if I told them, but I cannot afford to look after it,and my health will not allow for it. There's also no room in my house for a baby. There's also the fact I just don't want children. My dad is really the only family I have left, and he is 100% against abortions, no matter the reason behind a woman's choice for having one. This is why my sister didn't tell anyone, not even me, when she had one. She still hasn't told me outright. I only know because my dad was changing her bed one day when she was out and found the pink slip under her mattress. So I don't have any family to support me. My mum would have done but she sadly passed on 12 years ago. So really, it would not be fair to bring a child into the world, and I could not live with going full term, giving birth to it, then having to give it away, knowing my child was living somewhere on the planet and I chose to give it away. Any choice I made on that level would not be made when I was feeling unsure. It's a sad choice to have to make, but a termination is something I would have to go through with. Others have said on here, since I've done everything right by taking all my pills perfectly and having sex on my least fertile time, its extremely unlikely, and this is true as you know, but I never say never. I never have been a lucky person, it'd be just my luck for my contraception to fail on me now.
i promise you I'll keep you updated, but I think right now, all I can say is I hope I am lucky this time and until my period comes, I'm gonna use this thread to get any bad thoughts out of my head. I'm literally alone in all of this, with only my carer around me and he doesn't even know, I don't want to tell him because he is an ex of mine too and didn't take the news too well when he found out I'd moved on, even though he's been seeing other people too, although that is sorted out for now. At least on the surface.
This is why I'm so scared this time. I'm facing this alone. And if the pill has failed, I face the prospect of light surgery (though its definitely not a light subject), which scares the hell out of me, see pap smear thread, or an induced miscarriage by way of tablet, which scares me even more since it triggers the most awful pain and bleeding.
I might pick your brains privately over the coming few days scottishlady. I'm fairly certain I won't be pregnant, all the signs tell me so, and cold hard logic tells me so. I think I'm just freaking out because anyone around me I do have would make me keep the baby, and that would be the worst thing I could do to a child at this point in my life.
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