Lillie
member
Reged: 04/06/2008
Posts: 4802
Loc: Sandhurst, Berkshire
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Hello Ladies
Ian and I have just got back from visiting my Mum in East London. She was in quite a happy little mood and made us both laugh, bless her ! She sang us a little song, and of course I had to join in ! (well I did lol Ian who is slightly more reserved kept quiet !!) As soon as we arrived before we even said a word she blurted out 'I want shampoo and trill ! (for her little budgie !) lol. I asked her about the other ladies in their, she said 'I dont like Mary - she cries a lot !' I had to remind her of the time when she went through major depressive spells in the past and did the very same thing. She nodded, but you could tell she couldnt remember it, bless her ! Before we left I always go up to one or two of the other ladies in the Home, one in particular Mary has such a magical smile and such a marvellous soul. I looked at her and told her how lovely she was, when she told me I was lovely too you know my heart nearly melted there and then ! Oh how I wish we lived much closer, I would not only visit my Mum more frequently but would spend more time with Mary, who I am told has no visitors. Its an amazing place, filled with love, the staff are amazing and I am so very grateful
Sue xx
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carsma
member
Reged: 13/02/2009
Posts: 3329
Loc: Berks
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How lovely Lille. Great your Mum is in a fab place and you feel happy about it. Hope my kids put me in a great place,wonder if they will !!!!
Carsma x
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aec13cat
member
Reged: 08/01/2009
Posts: 3123
Loc: N. Ireland
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That is lovely Lillie that you also go and speak to the other ladies who have no visitors. When I go to visit my FIL in the home I speak to the others as well. At Christmas I am going to give them all a card - there is only 10 of them as apparently some don't get any and it makes me sad. Your mum will have enjoyed your visit and your singing. Enjoy the rest of your evening. She is lucky to have such a lovely thoughtful daughter.
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Countrygirl
member
Reged: 21/11/2007
Posts: 615
Loc: Cheshire
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Hi Lillie, I'm glad your Mum is in a nice loving place where she is being well looked after. My Mum is also in a Nursing Home, and we had a lot of anguish and soul-searching to reach the decision to move her there, but it also is a lovely place and she is being looked after so well. She has her ups and downs, and when we visited today, she was very much living in the past, but still looked so pleased to see us and gave us such a warm smile. Its funny how things turn out, I could never imagine being comfortable with one of my own going in a NH until faced with the situation...I guess what I'm trying to say is that anyone facing a similar dilemma should shop around, there are some great places out there who do a wonderful job (as well as some dodgy ones). The thought of ending up in one myself doesn't seem as daunting now, but hopefully (ha ha) it won't be for a very long time!!
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Justina
member
Reged: 27/09/2009
Posts: 5
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We have just got back from visiting my father in his nursing home. It was lovely to read of your experience, even though I am sure it is also sad for you seeing your Mum there. I have found it one of the hardest things we have ever lived through. My father hates being where he is, on most visits he tells me he doesn't want to be alive any more and usually has something negative to say about the staff. It is all very difficult. Dad gets several visits a week from family and occasionally from old neighbours so he is lucky in that respect and on a dry day we take him out in a wheelchair to a park and then to a pub for a drink! He enjoys getting out of the home. I too make a point of acknowledging other residents who have far fewer visitors than my Dad.
It would be wonderful if all homes could be staffed by people filled with love and compassion for their residents but I feel your Mum is one of the lucky ones in this respect.
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hardyeargirl
member
Reged: 06/11/2009
Posts: 35
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Sue
I believe that nursing homes can be full of care and warmth as you describe. Your mum sounds settled there. I dont know about her circumstances though you describe her having memory problems. I hope that the home can do much to stimulate and make her comfortable in the here and now - the moment she does live in. If you have a song together that is a good sign too, that she recalls the past further back and still expresses herself, feeling free there. I hope that the home staff also take good care of the lady you say has no visitors, I imagine they look out for her, Dont feel guilty about living far away, that can happen and your mum wouldnt expect you to move next door to the home only for you to be happy in your own life
My dad was in a nursing home this year - it was a very difficult experience to place him there though I think the home he was in was of a good standard and he was kept clean and well tended to despite having cancer then.
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scarpantoni
member
Reged: 22/07/2009
Posts: 1097
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Hi Lillie
Good you all had a lovely day.
If we all took the time to visit or speak to another person in a home / ward / shop / Q or anywhere else for that matter, each time we visit somewhere or are out and about, and we can see quite clearly they are alone.. wouldnt the world be a better place.. don't you think !!
Much love.
Scarp xx
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Trinket
member
Reged: 16/09/2009
Posts: 6
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Hi All - thought I would contribute (new to the Forums !!). My Mum has been in a nursing home over in Northern Ireland for the past 18 months after suffering a very sudden and serious stroke which left her disabled. My Mum was the most active person ever who spent her whole spare time doing crafts and good works for other people. One day ok and the next wham her whole life changed forever that is how it happened.
I was and still heartbroken at what happened. I am Mums Power of Attorney and have a useless brother who has lately taken to hassling mum to sell her house (in our names but she has lifetime residence in it) I no longer have anything to do with him. I live in Nottinghamshire and try to get over to see her at least every 8 weeks - thank you Ryanair for those lovely cheapy east mids to belfast flights !! She is in a lovely home where the carers cannot do enough for her. She is very well thought off and has a lovely room. But what annoys me is the 'staff shortages' which means there are hardly any extra activities to keep the residents minds active. The art class which Mum loved (she was a great artist) was cancelled due to lack off funds - god it was £30 a week - I pay £20 a week TOP UP RIP OFF FEES for what nothing !! But there is nothing I can do about it - I sometimes get the feeling that I am the annoying daughter from 'over the water'. I hate it when Mum crys because she wants to come home and misses her computer and patchwork classes etc (things that she can no longer do because of her disability). Not sure where or what I am trying to say - just felt like off loading.
Regards
Trish x
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izzyb50
member
Reged: 11/07/2009
Posts: 918
Loc: Sitting with Laptop on knee
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Hi Lillie,
I'm so pleased for you that your dear Mum is happy, it will make such a difference to you to know that. You are a lovely person and i'm sure Mary and the other residents love your visits also, its sad that some dont have visitors but am sure they will look forward to you taking time to talk to them.
izzy x
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Crafty
member
Reged: 04/10/2009
Posts: 211
Loc: West Wales
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I don't have anyone in a nursing home but while I was in hospital in January there was a very tiny Irish lady named Mary in the next bed. She was lovely, a little chatter box. She wanted me to pool my money with hers and run away from the Garda - not that we'd have much chance but we could give them a run for their money! (her words)
She even wanted us to push the beds together and get under the covers for an afternoon nap.
She chatted non stop about the family business and ngetting some extra cash out of the bank without her uncle knowing. The money was for an afternoon tea and a night in a hotel!
She was moved to another ward before I left but we often wonder how Mary is getting on. 
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Scarlets
member
Reged: 01/04/2007
Posts: 1905
Loc: Just across the pond
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So nice to hear she is getting on so well at the home. I remember when you were worried.
Poor Mary. Does she have nobody to visit her at all.
Is there something we can do.
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