eliza
member
Reged: 20/03/2008
Posts: 679
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To the doctors today.
I have been feeling really down recently and I did post at one point about my get up and go having gone.
But for weeks now i have dragged myself through each day.
As some of you will know I have not had a good year with my marriage going down the pan and we are still trying to sort the money etc out.
Anyway back in June I saw my GP who prescribed me some tablets and I did take them but when the pack was finished I didn't go back for anymore and thought I ok now!!.
So in Sept i went on a residential with work and one evening we were all sat around socializing having a laugh etc really nice and I had been on the phone talking to my son when I looked into the room I just thought this looks so normal and I don't feel normal and I just broke down and couldn't stop.
Since then I have lost all my energy and motivation I only go to work because I don't get sick pay if i don't,i just want to sleep all the time I know im not doing my job properly and one week it was 6 days before my children got a cooked dinner because i just couldn't do it how bad is that.
I had to go and see my solicitor today and I just thought I really cannot do this any more.so I made an appointment and now have a prescription for anti depressents, not what i wanted really but I'm realistic enough to know I need them at the moment.
I do tend to be the sort of person who will try and get through things but I have nothing left now.
I am trying to find things to do and have taken up dancing which I've been to twice because my son chivvies me along.
I even went on a couple of dates but the effort was just too much and I just though I really don't want this.
So now i have the tablets and have promised my GP I will take them even when I feel better so I will.Just feeling wretched today though(going to solicitors hasn't helped).
Thank you for listening to my ramblings just needed to off load and i know you ladies wouldn't mind.
Eliza
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Foxie
member
Reged: 09/08/2007
Posts: 8034
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Eliza - you are really brave and strong. I know you will get lots of support from the forum.
I truly hope that tomorrow is the beginning of a better time for you.
Take care.
Foxie x.
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I've learnt that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Maya Angelou.
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izzyb50
member
Reged: 11/07/2009
Posts: 922
Loc: Sitting with Laptop on knee
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Well done you! you have started to look after yourself and have realised that you cant do it alone.
Keep taking the pills the Doctor has prescibed and if you dont feel any better go back and see him, there is lots of help out there.
You have been through an awful lot, it will take time to feel a bit more human but you've made the first step, you've seen the Doc, you've taken up dancing, you're trying hard to turn your life around, give yourself a big pat on the back!
Keep posting here, we're all here for you.
Izzy x
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X_Debi_X
member
Reged: 30/10/2009
Posts: 81
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Hello Eliza
You have done the right thing and taken the step to ask for help, i know most of us would prefer to muddle through on our own but sometimes people need help. If at the moment that is in form of an anti depressant then don't feel bad about taking them as they say if you had a really bad headache you would reach for a tablet. I have a friend who takes them and i know she was told you need to take them for a while before you feel the benefit so give them a chance they may just help.
Take care of yourself you have been through a lot.
x-Debi-x
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marie50
member
Reged: 07/07/2007
Posts: 956
Loc: cleckheaton west yorkshire
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i think the fact that you want to sleep all the time and that you can;t be bothered shows that you're depressed. when i split from my ex i told everyone that i wasnt depressed and that i was coping - but - i wasnt, i just couldn't admit to myself that it was all too much. i tried to carry on as normal and to a certain extent i did but when i look back now, i was in a bad state really. my doctor prescribed anti depressants after a friend made me promise to ask for them, she'd been through a similar experience. i couldn't believe what a difference they made, i was more alert and able to manage on a daily basis. they didn't stop me thinking about what had happened but i was able to push it to the back of my mind often enough to cope. my daughter was only 2 at the time and now i really regret not asking for them sooner as i feel as though i missed out on so much of her toddler years. you have to give them time to work and i took them for about 2 years before i decided that i could cope without them. it's 2 years since i stopped them now and 7 years since we split, it's only the last 18 months or so that i have realised that i am much, much happier now than i have been for years. it's a fantastic feeling and one day you'll feel like that again, try to remember that. you've realised that you need help, which is a good thing, this forum is a fantastic place to have a grumble and let it all out, theres always someone to help, i wish i'd used it when i first split up, but i'm glad i found it eventually !!!
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F1x
member
Reged: 15/07/2008
Posts: 513
Loc: Suffolk
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Dearest Eliza
Wel done for seeking help.
At least you could see the symptoms and know that you should do anything.
I know its a hard struggle, its tough to keep going.
Like you Im dealing with the finance side and its a nightmare and when you are alone it seems so bad.
You cant manage everything at once, keep taking a step at a time and I really hope the pills help.
Thinking of you
love
F1 x
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There is a beginning within every ending..
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Scarlets
member
Reged: 01/04/2007
Posts: 1920
Loc: Just across the pond
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Eliza you have made the first move - probably the hardest.
I know the sound of anti depressants are a No NO to you, but do as the doctor asked you. Take them religously. They are probably only a temporary measure to get you through what cannot have been very nice at all.
I am sure you will be amazed when they kick in to know how much better you will feel.
Go out. Dancing seems a good choice. Meet lots of people.
Do let us know how you get on.
Big hugs coming your way. Wish I lived nearer. We could have a few girlie days out. I bet some of your friends would go with you though.
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anner06
member
Reged: 18/03/2008
Posts: 835
Loc: Northamptonshire
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Hi Eliza,
Well done for getting help. I was in your position about 3 years ago. Husband gone and I was left with the kids, alot of anger and resentment and having to sell my house. Looking back, I now see that the best thing you can do is take one day at a time. Some days are dreadful and some are bareable. For me, the turning point was when everything was sorted and the divorce was final. I felt that I finally had a bit of my life back again. Everybody is different and everybody copes in different ways. I didn't date for nearly 2 years so can completely understand you saying you can't be bothered.
Do what you want to do, not what you think everybody expects you to be doing and most of all, take care of yourself.
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junemc
member
Reged: 12/02/2009
Posts: 886
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Hi Eliza
Sorry to hear you are going through such a bad time. I do feel for you as I recognise some of your symptoms, because I went through a bad time about ten years ago (not marriage breakdown, thankfully).
It was my very stressful job. My doctor is a one off and is fantastic. She advised medication in the first instance. Like you, I fought having to take antidepressants, and my very sensible doctor explained that they were not like the tranquillisers of old and that I was suffering from a physical ailment, my body not producing something it should be. I took the prescription, not intending to get it filled. Weeks went by and I became steadily worse, like you say, getting on with life, but in a mechanical way and sleeping and sleeping. Waking up every morning with this blackness around me. Finally I ran into a brick wall (not literally) and couldnt physically go to work one morning. I went back to see my doctor and finally promised to take the medication, she was fantastic and gave me a long sick note for my work - I was suffering from depression brought on by stress. It took about three months before I got the real benefit of them, but believe me I felt as though I had finally been given my life back again. Although I had other physical illnesses, everything became more bearable and manageable. It all ended with my being offered ill health retirement by my employer which I accepted.
I do understand your reluctance to take the medication becaus of the stigma still attached to taking antidepressants, but believe me, it saved my life. If you had diabetes or something similar, you would take the meds without thinking, what is the difference??
Eliza, I do feel so much for you, please do take the meds and you will be amazed how helpful they will be.
I am sending you hugs and positive thoughts as to some extent I know what you are going through. Do take care of yourself.
June xx
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chilla
member
Reged: 05/09/2008
Posts: 6302
Loc: runcorn
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Just to sed you ((((hugs)))))eliza.
Jut take as much care of yourself as you can and how lovely of the other ladies to share their personal and positive stories with us.
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I have the talent of single-minded determination and foc....hey, look, dog!
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adiboo
member
Reged: 09/06/2006
Posts: 328
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Hi Eliza,
I thought I'd just add that my experience of anti-depressants was completely positive. My GP gently suggested that I would feel completely myself, just better and more able to cope, and I was lucky that they lifted my mood very quickly indeed. He was quite insistent that I shouldn't even think of coming off them during the winter months, and when I did decide to cut them back gradually summer was on it's way and everything looked so different. I still have a pack on standby because he said that might be reassuring, but they have been in the cupboard for a year now. You are just being kind to yourself with this; it's not for ever but I'm sure it will help.
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I can see clearly now my brain has gone.
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