maja
member
Reged: 20/02/2008
Posts: 2482
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an ugly word and a horrible, sickening deed
a 14year old girl raped..( close family)..by a grown man....how will she cope ..all her life ahead of her...will she cope?
is getting every help available, but is it enough?
what makes a grown man do this to a young girl? I cannot understand this...and IŽm angry, furious...
what gives him the right to destroy the life of almost a child?
all her life sheŽll carry this with her
will he?
feel helpless
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Edited by maja (30/10/2009 22:44)
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luckylegs
member
Reged: 08/12/2008
Posts: 616
Loc: essex
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Really don't know how to answer you. What makes people do such horrendous things to each other is beyond me. I just hope that in time the young girl will be able to live her life and not let this animal ruin her life. This is when I hope their is a hell.
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Crafty
member
Reged: 04/10/2009
Posts: 198
Loc: West Wales
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I have a relative who was training to be a rape counsellor (probably qualified now.) Not much help, but I hope the young person you mentioned has such help available to her. I can't imagine what she and her family are going through but I wish them well.
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aec13cat
member
Reged: 08/01/2009
Posts: 3087
Loc: N. Ireland
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Oh my goodness Maja - my little niece is 14 and this post chills me to the bone. i can just hope the girl gets all the specialist help she will require and that the man gets locked up for the rest of his natural life. I am so sorry I cannot answer your questions as I cannot imagine why an older man would do this do a young girl (he may even have daughters her age)- I don't think we will ever know why but all you can do is help her and her family though it as best as you can. Thinking of you all. aec x
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ROW
member
Reged: 16/10/2009
Posts: 179
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Oh Maja...how absolutely heart breaking. There is such evil out there.I hope that the young girl will get all the help she needs and with the loving support of her family, will in time be able to heal. I dont know why men do these despicable things,it makes me so angry, I hope they catch him and I hope he truly suffers for the rest of his life. Im so sorry for your distress and my thoughts are with this poor young girl,her family and you. Row xxx
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GILL3SQ
member
Reged: 29/07/2008
Posts: 1594
Loc: Staffordshire
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It sickens me just how much of this we hear about although it must always have been so prevalent in society. It is all horrible but I think incestual rape is possibly the worst kind if there is such a thing as you know and trust the abuser rather than it being just a one off terrible event?? Not sure on that one as don't want to trivialise any of it.
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seabird
member
Reged: 18/08/2009
Posts: 19
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Hi Maja,
I don't want to trivialise what has happened to this child, this is the worst thing, and the impact is so much more than physical. however, I can offer some encouragement... I've worked with some young girls, and boys who have been victims of rape and sexual abuse, and I've seen some remarkable recoveries. Sometimes it takes a while and sometimes the 'while' is very difficult, but young people are very resilient and with the right help and support (which you say she's getting?) she will come through this horrific ordeal. I'm thinking of you all ... things like this affect family and friends as well. Are her mum and dad getting some advice and support too?
Sending lots of love x
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OL0212
member
Reged: 04/01/2009
Posts: 172
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The whys and wherefores are really irrelevant now, its too late. Protect and treat her like normal and make sure that you follow her lead and be NORMAL with her.
My heart goes out to you, Direct your anger at him but not in her presence she needs to feel that she hasnt upset the applecart because these evil people pray on children and they do it by telling them that they will destroy the family if they tell and that its all their fault.
Good luck to you and if you want you can also call the Rape Crisis hotline or NSPCC or the Samaritans they are trained to deal with the victims and families of those affected.
Please update us later on.
O x
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Goingbackwards
member
Reged: 22/08/2008
Posts: 2648
Loc: Isle of Wight
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Yes who knows why. One good thing is that its hasnt been kept a secret, its in the open (nasty as it may be to hear) and he will be prosecuted.
Then you have to try to get on with things as normally as possible..this will help everyone to deal with it. What OL0212 says is very true..about the evil people telling them it will destroy the family...so take her advice.
My sister is a counsellor and does a days voluntary work each week at a rape crisis centre, she says just listen to her...let her tell you what she wants in her own time..and try to take it calmly. Counselling should be available for her and the family through your GP.
Hugs to you all xx
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gigi
member
Reged: 12/04/2008
Posts: 2473
Loc: Hampshire
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The only reason why this happens to young or old, men or women is a power issue. The perpetraitor does it as a way of exerting their control. All the things we connect with that act of physical contact are not present in rape. It is about control and power.
xxx gigi
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maja
member
Reged: 20/02/2008
Posts: 2482
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my posting this was a cry of despair.
thank you for your kind words, and words of wisdom.
The girl is home now, with her family around her.
Thank you.
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cupcake
member
Reged: 15/02/2008
Posts: 6078
Loc: On top of the world!!
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maja, I've been thinking about you and your family all day. I just don't know what to say.
My thoughts are with you. I hope your poor young relative comes through this ordeal without too much more trauma.
xxx
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Kezabel
member
Reged: 11/03/2009
Posts: 2620
Loc: Round the Bend
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maja - what can I say? Thoughts with you all.
Kez x
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PLASMO
member
Reged: 13/03/2008
Posts: 12971
Loc: FLOUNCELAND
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Maja,
How dreadful.
Plasmo x
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rosettastone
member
Reged: 11/03/2008
Posts: 794
Loc: Kent/Surrey borders
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Hi
having worked in this field in the past there is a lot of help out there . I take it that social services are involved? They can get the right contacts for the girl and the family.
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carpe diem - seize the day!
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