marina
member
Reged: 14/08/2008
Posts: 2467
Loc: "On the rocks....somewhere!!!"
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A friend has just sent this to me...I had to share it with you.
"6th Place
It was mealtime during a flight on
a British Airways plane:
'Would you like dinner?' the flight attendant
asked the man seated in the front row.
'What are my choices?' the man asked.
'Yes or no,' she replied.
5th Place
A flight attendant was stationed at the
departure gate to check tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her
hand for the ticket and he opened his
trench coat and flashed her.
Without blinking an eyelid she said,
'Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub.'
4th Place
A lady was picking through the frozen
turkeys at a branch of Sainsbury's but she
couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a passing assistant,
'Do these turkeys get any bigger?'
The assistant replied, ' I'm afraid not,
they're dead.'
3rd Place
The policeman got out of his car and
approached the boy racer he stopped
for speeding.
'I've been waiting for you all day,'
the bobby said.
The kid replied, 'Yes, well I got here
as fast as I could.'
When the policeman finally stopped
laughing, he sent the kid on his way
without a ticket.
2nd Place
A lorry driver was driving along on
a country road.
A sign came up that read 'Low Bridge Ahead.'
Before he realised it, the bridge was
directly ahead and he got stuck under it.
Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally, a police car comes up.
The policeman got out of his car and
walked to the lorry's cab
And said to the driver, 'Got stuck, eh?'
The lorry driver said, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of petrol!'
SMART ARSED ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2008
A teacher at a polytechnic college reminded
her pupils of tomorrow's final exam.
'Now listen to me, I won't tolerate
any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.
I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other
excuses whatsoever!'
A smart-arsed guy at the back of the room
raised his hand and asked,
'What would happen if I came in
tomorrow suffering from complete
and utter sexual exhaustion?'
The entire class was reduced to
laughter.
When silence was restored, the teacher
smiled knowingly at the student, shook
her head and sweetly said,
'Well, I suppose you'd have to write
with your other hand'. "
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marina x
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amelica2
member
Reged: 21/07/2008
Posts: 5822
Loc: Never Never Land
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Fab - loved the last one!!
Thanks for cheering up a quiet evening on the forum Marina!
amelica2
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Practically perfect in every way
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GlyfadaGirl
member
Reged: 10/10/2008
Posts: 2269
Loc: Surrey
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The lorry driver one was the best 
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GlyfadaGirl x
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carsma
member
Reged: 13/02/2009
Posts: 3157
Loc: Berks
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Very funny Marina, particularly liked the last one !
Amelica is right, it has been very quiet tonight,
Carsma x
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marina
member
Reged: 14/08/2008
Posts: 2467
Loc: "On the rocks....somewhere!!!"
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I am glad you enjoyed them girls!
It may be quiet as it took me 5 minutes to log in...the server was busy!!!!!! 
Eventually managed to preview my post.....5 minutes before it loaded, then 10 minutes before I could get back here again.
I suspect there are thousands of ladies across the land who have fallen asleep in front of their pooters...waiting for something to happen
Complaining? Moi? Now would I?????? 
--------------------
marina x
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