booboo
member
Reged: 24/08/2006
Posts: 15
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Have recently split with my husband and I am finding it really hard, as I have not got many friends and have been a stay at home mum for years, I would love someones thoughts on where to go from here, as some days I do not not want to even get out of bed....
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Splash123
member
Reged: 04/05/2008
Posts: 4097
Loc: South Glamorgan
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Look at the supper Club posts and the Walking club posts and see if there is one in your area....it is a great way to make new friends......so sorry for your situation I am sure you will hear from ladies who are in the same situation. This is a great place for support fun and chat....jump in and before you know it life will brighten and you will see there is a world full of possibilities out there. I have been in your position .....a long time ago....
Good luck and a big hug to you from me!!
xx
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http://www.visitcardiff.com/What-to-do-and-see.html
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PatsyW
member
Reged: 28/12/2007
Posts: 2291
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Hi booboo.
I can't offer thoughts or advice on where you go now, but I know lots of forum ladies have been where you are - some of them are in the same place right now and they will be on here during the day and evening to help.
I just wanted to say you do have lots of friends - US! We may only be virtual but we'll be here for you.
You're not alone. Hugs.x
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Well behaved women seldom make history.
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F1x
member
Reged: 15/07/2008
Posts: 513
Loc: Suffolk
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I know you want to bury your head under the duvet and hide all day. its a horrid lonely place to be.
meeting peopel takes effort, wherever you live look for a supper club you can get to, message people on here.
It takes effort and its a little step at a time.
Its not easy, its been a year for me and its been lonely and scary but I made myself do things and I now know some wonderful people. There will be places for you to go, set a target each week of something to look forward to.
Women will want to be your friend you just need to find them.
use this forum for support to.
PM me any time, I know it makes a difference that other people care about you and the sisterhood on here certainly do.
your children need you
much love and big hug
F1 xx
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There is a beginning within every ending..
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amelica2
member
Reged: 21/07/2008
Posts: 6082
Loc: Never Never Land
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booboo
Sorry to hear of your plight and welcome to the forum - you have come to the best place for friendshiip, advise and support.
If you read on Your Lives section, there is another post from lesley28 and there are lots of comments from forumers who are in similar situations to yourself. Perhaps post on there too and you will no doubt get lots of good advise and support.
I too have been through a divorce and know what its like.
Hang on in there!!
amelica2
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Practically perfect in every way
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jamjams
member
Reged: 09/01/2009
Posts: 1174
Loc: geordieland
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Hi Booboo, firstly welcome to the forum!
you do know you have just taken the first step to changing your life. It has already been said there are woman on here in similar situations, they will no doubt give you lots of help and support.
It has already been said about the supper clubs and walking groups. I know it is a big step to meet new people, but the ladies on here are lovely
take care
jamjams x
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WoodyM
member
Reged: 01/04/2009
Posts: 670
Loc: Cheshire
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I have never been in this position but I have had a crossroads. My advice is to take small steps and get to know yourself. I got myself a p/t job after being at home for 20years and being over 50. Best thing I ever did, low paid and no social life but I just love going in each day.
I am also going to my first Supper Club next week....do small things just for you...go for a coffee, join the library, the weather is lovely, walk to the shops, I hate exercise but walk every day to the shops it clears my head.......good luck.. 
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Bizibee
member
Reged: 25/03/2009
Posts: 613
Loc: North Wales
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Hi Booboo and welcome firstly!
So sorry to read about your marriage break-up. It must be dreadful for you. Although I haven't been through it myself I do have close friends who have and I feel as though I went through it with them. Hopefully you will find a lot of comfort and sound advice from the Forum ladies here, they are a great bunch and well worth getting to know.
God bless you x
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suejane
member
Reged: 04/10/2008
Posts: 453
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Hello and welcome! I have been in your situation and as a Carer im probably still in it so please keep in touch. The ladies on here are brilliant and have supported me through so much. What interests do you have?Someone might have them too! Best wishes and a hug 
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junemc
member
Reged: 12/02/2009
Posts: 876
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Hi booboo, I am so sorry to hear your story, unfortunately there have been a number of ladies on the forum in your situation and I really feel for you going through this awful time. It must feel like the end of the world.
This forum is a starting point for you, to talk to people who really care and want to help you through this awful time. The ladies on here are so supportive and kind. You just want to join in with the posting and you will eventually find yourself smiling at some of the posts as they can be hilarious. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, you just cant see it yet.
Forgot to say Welcome from me, look forward to talking to you!! Take care.................June xx
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bevvywevvy
member
Reged: 20/10/2008
Posts: 540
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Booboo (I love that name!)
I am so sorry that you are having such a difficult time.
You will find many friends on this forum and always a comforting word to make you feel better. It is a fabulous place to get support.
When you are ready and if you feel you would like to, try something online called Udate. It is how I met my husband.
It is one of the better online dating sites and lots of good fun. You can chat away with people all night long if you want and just say that you are looking for friendship or if you want to something more.
You don't have to meet anyone if you don't feel comfortable but I had lots of good dinner dates out of it! (Always insist on going to a posh place!)
Hope every day gets you to an easier place. Be kind to yourself all the time.
Big hugs.xxx
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DebBee
member
Reged: 09/06/2008
Posts: 21
Loc: Lancashire
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Hi Booboo
Welcome to the forum. As somebody who has posted on here in times of need - I know personally how just knowing that there are people to talk to out there really helps.
I have been in your situation and am now 5 years down the line. I read in woman and home a couple of years ago that things go in cycles/phases during a breakup. First the loss and trying to find out what went wrong, then the "lets start doing everything Ive always wanted to do", then eventually you settle down to a new normality. I certainly felt all of these things.
It wasn't easy to start off with but I joined a local theatre group - I don't want to be on stage, but have found a good social life either just attending the performances (the theatre is one place you can go along and nobody looks at you weird), working front of house, back stage or even doing bar duty. Whilst I am doing this I can be me and for a short time everything else takes a back burner.
I really hope that your friends and family will support you at this time, but if not there are a whole new bunch of friends waiting for you here. Feel free to PM me if you want to chat.
Hugs and best wishes for a new future xx
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booboo
member
Reged: 24/08/2006
Posts: 15
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Thank you all very much for your very kind words, I was having a really bad day yesterday..but today I feel a tad better!!!! nice to know your all out there...XX
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scottishchristine
member
Reged: 03/07/2009
Posts: 3
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I have been thinking of joining for over a year but have taking the plunge and joined today. My father developed alzheimers a few years ago and when my poor mum could cope no longer, I organised for him to go into a home and moved her closer to me. I still feel so guilty at doing it and so wished my mum could have struggled on but I know she couldn't. My brother and my two sisters did nothing for my parents before all this but when this happened my brother was annoyed with me for making these decisions.He has not spoken to me since and my sisters have taken his side.It didn't bother me at first as I know it was the right thing to do and my poor mum was crying out for help.I took the moral highground that if they had been around they would have seen how desperate the situation was and would have helped. My youngest son got married two years ago and I left it up to him to decide whether they got an invite. I said for my mums sake it would probably be best having them there. They came and didn't speak to me but spoke to everyone else and yes it was awful! My other son gets married on the 26th of July and i am dreading it. I know its daft after all they have done to me but I miss my family. All I have left are mum and dad but when they are around visiting them I can't go near. Sorry to go on but does anyone have a similar problem and have you been able to resolve it 
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Gilda
member
Reged: 30/06/2009
Posts: 27
Loc: Scottish Borders
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Hi booboo, I am in the same place as you just now, having split from someone after a long time together. When you are having a really bad day be gentle with yourself and try to eat properly, get some exercise and sleep as best you can. I find I can cope with things so much better when I am rested. I don't have many friends either and went through an initial phase of wanting to join every club under the sun but I have calmed down a little bit since. Have you got any hobbies? Maybe you could go to an evening class and meet people through a common interest. Can you meet other parents through things your kids are involved in? I have been going to counselling for a while now and it really helps, I would recommend it to anyone. Hang in there dear, it'll get better over time. I have had two ok days in a row now after a week of misery so I am hoping this is the start of a slow recovery.
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JulieJ
member
Reged: 29/12/2008
Posts: 552
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Christine - your siblings sound like total pains, selfish and inconsiderate. I would totally ignore all their 'moans' and 'accusations'. You did the right thing, and they did not. End of debate.
Do not let yourself be affected by this selfish lot!
All the best, Julie.
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rjaly
member
Reged: 09/02/2007
Posts: 172
Loc: Leicestershire
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Hi Christine. Were you ever able to talk with them properly about how hard it had been. Did you ask them for help at the time or was it that you felt that you shouldnt have to ask them?
Is there any way back from it?
I have PMd you
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WoodyM
member
Reged: 01/04/2009
Posts: 670
Loc: Cheshire
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Aren't families a pain!!! There isn't a magic solution to this and although it is their problem, you must keep the lines of communication open and get thru the wedding with gritted teeth - you did the right thing in the circumstances, I had quite a few rows with my brother regarding my mother who had dementia. It is just possible they feel a little bit guilty about their (lack of) role in your parents situation. If you got on before hopefully it will get back on track again. You don't mention your mother's opinion of all this?........Hang on in there.....
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carsma
member
Reged: 13/02/2009
Posts: 3281
Loc: Berks
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Hi BooBoo
Your thread seems to have been hi-jacked by Christine,
I totally understand where you are, though it was my fault, I had the affair, now I don't and OH has moved on and has his own girlfriend, though he was never the same with me as he is with with her and we still share a life, business and house,
It is very hard I know, I do have friends, but they are all happily married so weekends belong to their husbands and I am at a loss to know how to make new friends, I tried the supper club, but hated it,
I have been through just not getting up for days, ex just accepts it, bless him, but it doesn't make me feel any better, Now I am trying to be pro-active and get a life again, I do do volunterey work in Oxfam so that gives some company and D comes up with bright ideas, none of them viable, Still I have thought long and hard and by default some forum members have given me ideas, so I will approach the local theatre group to give help backstage, run the bar, whatever and there is a famous rescue centre where we got our cat that needs helpers, so that would be a start,
I had to accept that ex would just let me go after 30 odd years and lover would also let me go, so double whammy, hard, but no option, so we just have to find a way to survive and you have to grieve and feel bad many days, but there is light at the end of the tunnel and there is a way out, it's just finding it,
Anyway, find support from us and ask anything you want, or pm anyone, I'm sure they'd be glad to try and help,
Take Care
Carsma x
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Foxie
member
Reged: 09/08/2007
Posts: 8004
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Hi BooHoo
I don't have any advice to offer, but I just wanted to wish you well. I haven't been through your personal experience, but whenever I have had a difficulty in life, I have told myself to just hang on and take life one day at a time. Somehow not looking too far ahead makes life more manageable.
Hi Christine
I just wondered what your siblings expected you to do? Did they really expect your parents to just get on with it until your mother's health broke under the strain? I have had to make some hard decisions for older members of my family too, it is not easy and is a very emotional time.
I just could not stand that childish not speaking thing. I know I am not in your shoes, but if I was I would go and see my siblings before the wedding and try to sort things out. It is your child's wedding and it not about your siblings. Weddings should be a time of celebration and joy and not another opportunity for your siblings to cut you dead.
Whatever you decide to do, good luck. It is obviously upsetting you a lot, without even thinking about your parent's position. I hope I've not been too blunt in this post .............
Foxie
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I've learnt that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Maya Angelou.
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