asparagus
member
Reged: 17/10/2008
Posts: 70
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Dear Laney,
Thinking of you and your children at this very difficult time, please follow the advice you have been given . Good luck
Asparagus
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JulieJ
member
Reged: 29/12/2008
Posts: 559
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Morning Laney - have you phoned the help lines yet?! Sorry to nag, but you really do need to get help for your children, and yourself.
All the best, and stay strong - you can get through this awful time and come out the other side into a much nicer, happier life. You just have to make the next move.
You've already taken that essential first step - posting here, so well done.
We are all backing you - best, Julie.
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Kezabel
member
Reged: 11/03/2009
Posts: 2635
Loc: Round the Bend
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Morning Laney
I've been thinking of you too and wondering how you and your family are.
Would be great to hear from you.
Kez x
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Foxie
member
Reged: 09/08/2007
Posts: 8019
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Hi Laney
Just to say, that no matter what you decide to do, please feel you can post here. You seem very alone............
Take care
Foxie x.
--------------------
I've learnt that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Maya Angelou.
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Cadenza
member
Reged: 11/06/2009
Posts: 59
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Laney
I know what you are going through i had exactly the same. My ex had such a bad temper i used to just stand rigid until he finished in fear that he would be violent. he would throw his dinner across the room because it was too hot. Only once did he physically attack me and fractured ribs and skull. did i leave then... no. i knew i had to and i knew I had support, but I was too embarrassed and too forgiving. I didn't even have kids the, but went on to have three in 18 months. I finally plucked up the courage to leave when they were 5 and 4. i told him I was going at the end of the week, but I left earlier. He hired a hit man to kill us all and we had to escape at 6am one morning with the clothes we stood up in.
It takes time and no one can do that for you, but believe me it is the right decision to leave you will look back and bless the day you make that choice.
10 years later I still have dealings with him over the childreen whom he completely rejected, but i am stronger and can cope with it better although he still scares me.
Laney if you want to PM me just to have a moan with someone who has been through it and out the other side then do please.
fiona
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Chelsea
member
Reged: 06/02/2008
Posts: 1308
Loc: Essex
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laney how awful for you and your children.
I hope you realise that there is no future in this relationship? He is a bad person and the best thing you can do now is to keep yourself and your older children well away from him. the issue of the yournger child might be trickier to deal with if he's got rights to see her but keep everything in your control. Take advice and dont be bullied into doing anything you don't want to do.
Stay strong, your future without him is going to be a lot brighter than with him, just remember that when he puts pressure on you - you are your own person and you don't owe him a thing.
Good luck, thinking of you. x x x
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Chelsea x
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kay3030
member
Reged: 05/07/2009
Posts: 3
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dear laney,
i lived through mental abuse for 20 years, it destroyed me, everyone thought he was such a charming succesful person, but he slowly abused me, every day i was told i was nothing, my opinion did not matter, we travelled around the world with his work, as my children got older, the problems intensified, they saw what he was doing, he would tell our son he was useless, and he could not accept that our daughter was a growing women, I left him 2 years ago, i am trying to slowly sort out my kids, they are now young adults, its not easy, but the best thing about it is that i go to bed at night, not scared, of how he will come home, what mood he will be in, i am free, yes i do get lonely, and yes i sometimes cry for the life i allowed my self to live for so long, but i wish i had left him earlier, i wish i had been strong enough to pick up my life, Please please, leave him, it will get better, dont put your kids through the pain i put myn through, they still love there dad, but its on there terms not his, he can not manipulate them.. I have a part time job, and they see that i am doing well, and that makes them strong.. `You will get through this, you just need to believe in your self.
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