ChrissiFi
member
Reged: 28/06/2006
Posts: 2621
Loc: Somerset
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Even if a termination isn't going to be an option the additional tests will give her peace of mind. If she's worrying about the 'what might be' it's going to affect her general health (blood pressure etc) which isn't going to be good for her or the baby. I think I'd want to know - if it's bad news then you've still got time to come to terms with it, find out what it's really going to mean for your lives and be prepared (take time to research, find out everything you need to know), if it's good news then it was a few days worry not a few months. Either way I think it's better than ending up completely stressed out by not knowing and ending up possibly affecting the unborn baby as well as yourself.
Someone I knew at school has a Downs child - she wasn't tested (considered too young to need to be at the time) and although she feels that her child has given her a lot of positives that a 'normal' child wouldn't have she'd have preferred to have known in advance so that it wasn't such a shock when she was born (I think the first few weeks were really a shocked haze rather than the joyous time they should have been).
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Acoustic2
member
Reged: 16/04/2009
Posts: 22
Loc: France
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Hi Jelliclecat, I don't have anything to add but just wanted to wish you well as I know how you and your daughter must be feeling. My sister is expecting twins and had the same test last week. She had two results: 1 in 700 for one baby and 1 in 250 for the other. She has been told that's fine no need to take it further. I don't know if her age makes a difference, she is 37. I am concerned about the big difference between the results and since reading this thread am wondering why she hasn't been offered an amnio. Anyway I haven't said anything to her as I don't want to scare her (it's her first pregnancy) but I am a bit worried something may have been overlooked.
Best wishes to your daughter
acoustic
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JodieTic
member
Reged: 22/01/2009
Posts: 12
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Hi Jelli - so sorry to hear about the worry and upset your daughter, you and your and family are going through. I have 3 children and when I had my first scan for my 3rd child I was told there were multiple cysts on the baby's brain which could be a sign of Down's Syndrome or Edward's Syndrome. As I was 19 weeks pregnant I was advised to have an amnio the next day. I was also told I was having a boy and, although this would have made no difference, I had been secretly hoping for a boy as we had 2 beautiful girls. My 4 year old daughter was also undergoing treatment at this time for a tumour in her mouth and obviously the whole situation was horribly stressful. I didn't want to have the amnio as I was worried that I wouldn't be able to go through with a termination should the results be positive but in my distressed state I was persuaded by my husband and Mum who both felt we wouldn't be able to cope with a disabled child. The consultant who carried out the amnio was calm and reassuring and the procedure was painless and I felt no worry that I may miscarry. The waiting for the results was the worst thing but we eventually received the wonderful news that I was carrying a health baby boy. I had further scans and these cysts had all disappeard by the time I was about 35 weeks pregnant. He is now a gorgeous 15 year old! I do hope that whatever tests your daughter undergoes give her peace of mind and I'm sure you will all be welcoming the healthy new arrival into your family. Best wishes. Jodie xx
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seasidetracie
member
Reged: 12/03/2009
Posts: 389
Loc: Broadstairs,Kent
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Jellicle cat,
Just wanted to add my thoughts and to send you a huge hug......
As usual these ladies have given you great advise,and fully appreciate how difficult this is for you....and of course your daughter. I hope all will turn out well but just wanted to say that I'm sure you will all love this baby whatever the outcome.
Also, as one lady said "having a baby with a disability is a life sentence".......please don't think this is what life with a child that is not 'perfect' is like.....because it isn't......yes, it certainly is different and sometimes a challenge, but it definately is NOT a life sentence! (And to be honest, as a mother of a child who is classed as disabled and has a heart condition I find it insulting to be told that.......)
Sending you much love at this difficult time
Seaside Tracie xx
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jelliclecat
member
Reged: 31/01/2009
Posts: 441
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Thank you all for your kind words - they are a great help and comfort to us.
Much love, Jelli
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