luckylegs
member
Reged: 08/12/2008
Posts: 624
Loc: White Stiletto Land
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I have just read the artical in this month's W&H, and was 'gobsmaked' as this could be about me and my husband.Wether this was a fictional or true life peice, it could'nt have come at a better time. I am definatly going to try some of the advice, as we have drifted,not that we no longer love and care for each other,it's just that life and 2 teenagers seem to get in the way.
I have been looking through old photo's and came across one of my husband who at the time of the picture I had'nt long met,
it made me rember why I found him attactive. We have both aged abit and losthair(him) and gone greyish,
(him again),but the smile and twinkly eyes are still the same, so..... I'm going to try hard to get that thrill back, WISH ME LUCK!!!
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merc1
member
Reged: 20/02/2008
Posts: 1031
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Luckylegs,I hope that your husband appreciates and responds. I wish you luck. It happens to most relationships,it needs a reminder sometimes to make us realise what has happened. merc.x
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PatsyW
member
Reged: 28/12/2007
Posts: 2307
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Hello Luckylegs (and Merc1,nice to see you!!)
Life will always get in the way, specially with teenagers, lol. When the kids are little you think that when they grow up a bit it will be easier but when they do grow up they KNOW stuff and if you try to be romantic or sexy they can spot it a mile away!!!
Makes it fun though, outwitting them - adds to the fun. So enjoy and good luck. Am sure Mr Luckylegs will be delighted 
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Well behaved women seldom make history.
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caz001
member
Reged: 10/09/2008
Posts: 1089
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Luckylegs.... Mr Luckylegs is a very lucky man in having a lovely wife, the other posts are right sometimes ever day life just takes over, children, housework, cooking can at times be overwhelming to us all and we forget who we once were... so go girl...
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Chelsea
member
Reged: 06/02/2008
Posts: 1308
Loc: Essex
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You are right, once the children come along all the spontinaity(?) goes out of it.
Don't know what our excuse is, the children are never around now they are grown up. It seems you have to work at it!
Good luck, I think you are doing the right thing.
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Chelsea x
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orchid50
member
Reged: 20/04/2009
Posts: 109
Loc: Wiltshire
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Havn't read the article yet but think I probably should! I do know that you really have to work at a relationship to keep it going and stop it from becoming mundane - my OH and I have had a few episodes in recent years when I could easily have shown him the door, but for some reason we keep trying to get back on track - or do I have "mug" written across my forehead?!! With 2 teenagers and 1 nearly teenager in the house, it's not easy to find time alone eetc - thin walls and all that!! And planning in advance does take the spontaneity out of it - think I will read the article!
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Goingbackwards
member
Reged: 22/08/2008
Posts: 2678
Loc: Isle of Wight
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I was married for almost 42 years, and believe me you do have to work at a marriage. No its wasn't perfect - is life ever ? But overall it was great.
Was I lucky - I dont know or were we just well matched. We didnt lose the "spark" and despite having children it was always "us" , not in a selfish way, that took precedence. Think the children benefited from this as they had 2 happy parents.
Sons both in their forties now and one asked me just before his 11th wedding anniversary, how did you and dad stay so close to each other for all those years. Told him it was just th way it was.
x
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Denni
member
Reged: 11/05/2009
Posts: 6
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I agree with everything you have all said BUT why is it always the wife who has to make the effort, or change things? Doesn't seem fair to me!
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kate1
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Reged: 18/08/2008
Posts: 6959
Loc: Leicestershire
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I was married the first time for 29 years, until he died at the age of 56, and I know how we kept it alivein a way that is good to pass on.
Saturdays were sacred.We never once just had tea and watched television.
When the children were small, we'd feed them, put them to bed and then shower and get ready as though going on a date.I would either cook something special or we'd have a takeaway.It was always romantic, and we always talked properly, not just as parents and busy people.
people I've talked to have said theywish they had taken the time to do it.
We always made Saturday nghts special, as the years went on, even when the children grew up and left home.
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Thimble
member
Reged: 04/12/2008
Posts: 4343
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Afternoon ladies.................there is a lot of information given here and I do agree with a lot of it.
Kate1 - I think your idea is great and one that I have tried on so many occasions to do. However you can only do this if BOTH of you agree.
For me I use to say "lets make Sat a special evening, nice meal and sit and watch a dvd together on the settee and just be us". OH always said that it would be nice but when it came to Sat and I started to do the meal he would be on the computer. Have to drag him away for dinner and then said he was just going back on again for a little while. After 1 hour I would ask if he was coming in to watch dvd and his answer was always "I am in to this now, you can have the tv." So I just gave up, was not worth the effort.
Now he wonders why we don't have much in common!!!! MEN
I wish you all luck with relighting your fires..........unfortunately mine went out long ago. Now there is no fire, no kissing, no cuddling just banter and friendship.
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Daffodil
member
Reged: 03/04/2008
Posts: 274
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Hi All
I haven't read the article yet and shall look forward to reading it. However, just reading this thread gave me a little chuckle and reminded me of something that my OH and I used to do.
Every Wednesday we decided that after the children were put to bed, we would take turns cooking a special meal each week and set the dining table, candlelight, make a special effort to get dressed nicely, no tv allowed, put some romantic music on the CD player and just sit, eat and talk to each other. It worked really well for a number of months and we used to call it.... 'Keep Wednesday Special'..........and both looked forward to Wednesday evenings.....but as time wore on it became, not so much a chore, but a pressure and more often than not we'd end up falling out on a Wednesday night so much so that in the end we renamed it S**** it's Wednesday!!!! 
Needless to say we don't do it now but still laugh about it.
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In_praise_of_naps
member
Reged: 22/09/2008
Posts: 64
Loc: East Anglia
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Thimble... there is nothing wrong with banter and friendship, it's what we have, though we do have lots of cuddles and kisses. Just celibate... no big deal, we talked about it, agreed it was the way for us to go, and life became so much easier once it was all talked about and decided upon. I wrote a posting about the article on one of the forums, commenting on magazine contents I think it was, and the only response I got agreed that there are many facets to making a WHOLE marriage, and I feel we all have to pick and mix from them to get the marriage that suits us, suits our partners, is right for us at the point in our lives we find ourselves at...
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