ShelBee
member
Reged: 07/04/2008
Posts: 763
Loc: Bangor, N. I.
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Just wondering if there are any life coaches among us who might be willing to offer some advice as we set off into a New Year.
I was reading on the bbc website that making New Year resolutions can have a negative impact on your well-being as most people fail to keep them and then become depressed.
I recall when I was learning about division in maths class at school, the teacher taught us that 4 into 3 won't go. And it has just occured to me that this is what is wrong with my life at present. I am trying to fit too many things into one day and it will never work!
Here are the main ingredients:
The Family: OH & two teenage boys (18 & 15)- all good!
The House: the usual continuous laundry, cleaning, cooking
The Job: Self-employed working from home and would work 24/6 - I say 6 because I would be happy to take Sunday off!
Health: Need to find time to exercise regularly, hampered by lack of routine which also impacts on meal times. Also would like to cook healthy meals for all to eat together but this involves planning and more importantly time to plan.
Any ideas welcome!
ShelBee
P.S. I work so much better when my house is tidy. My head is clearer and I am more positive. I think I could be rich if I hired a cleaner. Does that make sense?
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Take time to smell the roses.
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citygirl
member
Reged: 18/07/2008
Posts: 676
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Hi Shelbee
I feel like you've answered your own questions, no life coach necessary. I think most of us know what we should be doing but its the putting into action that seems sometimes to be the hard bit!
What do you do for a living, I found it easier to streamline my work than my family 
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Coal under pressure produces diamonds...
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Lisianthus
member
Reged: 02/02/2008
Posts: 1375
Loc: Sussex
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Don't bother with Life Coaches, Shelbee. It is a manipulative Life Coach who broke up my long marriage by telling my 'husband' to 'Clean Sweep' his life of anything/anyone in his way and only think of himself - like SHE does! 
Certainly don't pay to see one! They just tell you that you already know the answer/way forward, and they charge a fortune for saying it!!! Speak to a good friend instead.
Janine XXX
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My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet. (Edith Wharton)
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ShelBee
member
Reged: 07/04/2008
Posts: 763
Loc: Bangor, N. I.
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Hi Citygirl,
just back from a brisk walk with YS! Starting out as I mean to go on .. ahem.
I started my own lettings business so the hours/viewings are a bit haphazard. My house is relatively easy to keep but I do like it tidy. I reckon if I had a cleaner that I would be "twiddling" before they arrived - to coin a phrase from this forum.( Did this come from Mrs. Twiddle?)
Anyway another great business to start would in fact be a cleaning agency. I quite like cleaning, it can be very rewarding. So if my lettings fails I know what to do. watch this space......
My problem is fitting everything in - I just can't seem to make it work.
Do you work from home and how did you streamline your work? All tips appreciated.
ShelBee
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Take time to smell the roses.
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ShelBee
member
Reged: 07/04/2008
Posts: 763
Loc: Bangor, N. I.
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Thanks Lisianthus,
thanks for the advice. Maybe we should all take a leaf from your Life coach's book and clean sweep for the New Year and put ouselves first!
Don't you think that people like this get on best in life!
ShelBee
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Take time to smell the roses.
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lynee
member
Reged: 02/01/2009
Posts: 83
Loc: Potters Bar
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Any advice on getting an 18 year old boy (back from Uni) to clear his room which is smelling like the best of stiltons.
I have lost my brain training for the DS - last seen in his room - which he of course denies! Last time I entered the room he was fixed to the TV and his laptop at the same time drumming on a nearby biscuit tin!
Oh the joys xxxx
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ShelBee
member
Reged: 07/04/2008
Posts: 763
Loc: Bangor, N. I.
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Hi Lynee,
sounds like a happy healthy lad! Have you heard of Professor Layton and the Curious Village. Apparently very popular for DS. My friend got it for herself for Christmas.
Said to have the power to take your mind off teenagers!
ShelBee
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Take time to smell the roses.
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citygirl
member
Reged: 18/07/2008
Posts: 676
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Brisk walk, I should say, its freezing out there!!
Without knowing what you already have in place its hard to recommend. I found getting a good software package for my accounting/invoicing/stock control halved my admin (zzzzz), I hate paperwork, the software makes it easier. There's loads of things you can do to organise yourself.
Yes, twiddling is the work of Mrs Twiddle, but business first twiddle later or get OH & children to help with housework, show me where's its written that you have to do it all 
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lynee
member
Reged: 02/01/2009
Posts: 83
Loc: Potters Bar
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Thanks ShelBee I will try Prof Layton and the Curious Village - sounds like a lifecoach enterprise.
There is also the thrill of being back to work again after a week's break. Almost guaranteed to take my mind off home.
Sleep is beckoning!
xx
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ShelBee
member
Reged: 07/04/2008
Posts: 763
Loc: Bangor, N. I.
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Some excellent points there. I am looking at a package at present for admin purposes. Just not looking forward to learning how to use it as all I want to do is let houses. But will save time in the long run I know.
Yes I will delegate more and see how that goes. My ES (15) is a dab hand at cooking and mad to be at it! Lately he has produced some cracking good meals, eg sticky chilli beef with noodles and pasta bakes. Have yet to discover ES's forte. OH good at clearing up and lunches.
ShelBee
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Take time to smell the roses.
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Lisianthus
member
Reged: 02/02/2008
Posts: 1375
Loc: Sussex
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She isn't MY Life Coach! She has been having an affair - for 4 years - with my husband, who I am now divorcing!
No, I disagree. He now only thinks of himself, not even bothering with our children or his mother who has Alzheimer's and SHE/mistress, puts men before her 10 year old son. SHE has also been divorced 3 times and broken up other relationships!
It is good to look after yourself - but not exclusively to become totally arrogant, self-absorbed and uncaring!
Janine X
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My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet. (Edith Wharton)
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DeepBlue
member
Reged: 16/02/2008
Posts: 391
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Hi Janine
I'm truly sorry for what has happened to your marriage after your husband consulted a Life Coach. However please don't tar all Life Coaches with the same brush.
I've posted you before about this. Most Life Coaches follow a code of ethics and have high levels of morality and they don't all charge enormous fees. Don't forget that your husband is culpable too. No man can be 'lured' away and stay away if everything is fine in his marriage - the same goes for women.
You may have been very unlucky but sh** happens and it's how you deal with it that counts. You seem to be carrying a great deal of anger - perhaps you need to see soemone about this. Long term anger is very bad for you and everyone around you and doesn't move you on.
On your point about friends can I just say that friends are great BUT they do not fulfill the same role as a Life Coach or Counsellor because they are rarely objective. Our friends always 'take our side' when we've been hurt, that's why they are friends however sometimes that's not the best thing for us.
Yes, I have trained as a Life Coach, although I only work with Business clients, and take my work very seriously. It cost me a great deal of money, time and effort to train. However I will acknowledge that Life Coaching is not very well regulated at present so there are some 'cowboys' who damage the industry. But we're not all the same.
Although I don't of course know your Personal Circumstances I have personal experience of a very unpleasant and costly marriage break up which came out of the blue after 20 years of marriage and know how difficult it is to come to terms with it especially as some things will never come right again. I also know what a weight was lifted off my shoulders when I gained acceptance that things were never going to be the same. Only once you accept can you move forward.
Good luck for the future. You WILL be happy again and it's a great feeling.
Best Regards
Pat aka DeepBlue
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Lisianthus
member
Reged: 02/02/2008
Posts: 1375
Loc: Sussex
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You are right and I don't really tar all Life Coaches with the same brush. I just think people should be aware that as it isn't regulated, a lot of very troubled people enter the industry - yes, she is very troubled and sees a psychotherapist twice a week for her own insecurities - and can cause havoc!
She specialises in men who have been made redundant - he had been, and had been out of work for a year and very depressed - and I think he was very vulnerable and easy to influence and manipulate.
I am bitter, but extra so, as he did beg to come home and did so 6 times - so things can't be right with HER either. This behaviour hasn't 'allowed' me to move on easily. Apparently she is 'very intense and only happy in a crisis or drama'. She is also very melancholy and needs to have a lot of attention and money spent on her.
I hope I will be happy again one day. I have seen a counsellor and a Cognitive Behavioural Therapist in the past.
I do take on board what you say though. Thank you.
Janine XXX
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My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet. (Edith Wharton)
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citygirl
member
Reged: 18/07/2008
Posts: 676
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I think you were very unlucky in that respect Janine but for me, it would always be children first. You have 2 lovely children from the marriage, I'd say you are very blessed. 50 is young these days, you can move on when you are ready, me I'd never bother again unless Prince Charming came along as thats what I'm used to
When I read the life coach specialises in men who have been made redundant I got this picture in my head, hope I'm wrong because as Pat says we can't tar them all the same.
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Coal under pressure produces diamonds...
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Lisianthus
member
Reged: 02/02/2008
Posts: 1375
Loc: Sussex
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I think your picture is right, Citygirl! XXX
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My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet. (Edith Wharton)
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lizalou
member
Reged: 01/02/2008
Posts: 675
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Shelbee, I know what you mean. Like you my life is good, couldnt ask for anything more, but...
I cant even decide what I DO want- more FUN perhaps?
One thing I can sympathise with is the amount of time teenagers use up. Far worse than toddlers! There is always some emotional crisis, or school-work problem, or transport needed, or more money...
So can anyone out there point us in the right direction?
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suzie88
member
Reged: 02/09/2008
Posts: 811
Loc: Essex
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I find one way of saving time is to rotate weekly mealplans, so you know what you will eat each day,get all the shopping done and don`t waste so much food.
Lisianthus, regarding the Life Coach that went off with your OH, I hope you reported her, she should be struck off the register, if they have one.
Suzie88
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wispa
member
Reged: 16/01/2008
Posts: 3675
Loc: Suffolk,
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take my Gran's advice - New Year's Resolutions start after Jan 6th - 12th night, the end of Xmas, the real New Year.
My advice:
make half a dozen resolutions, and give them dates. They don't need to start at New Year.
No point in saying you are going to go for a walk 3 evenings a week when it's so cold. But if you say you will start that in, say, April...
And set rewards. Stop biting your nails, keep it for 2 months, then treat yourself to a Chanel Nail varnish. Wash and vaccuum the car each month (I wish), treat yourself to a long bubble bath.
Most important, if you fail, it's not the end of the world. If yiu're child didn't do as well as expected, you wouldn't beat it, so why beat yourself? Tell yourself you are disappointed, but you had a good try, and now you have a second chance
Most of all, enjoy life!
..wispa
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