fullofherts
member
Reged: 03/10/2008
Posts: 5
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I know it's a difficult subject, and a search of the site hasn't brought up much discussion. I had a form of bowel cancer, for which there is little public support. There are no support groups near me, other than for Breast Cancer where I feel I don't belong.
I wondered if there might be anyone on here who sometimes finds adjusting to their 'new' life difficult sometimes. I have periods of feeling depressed, have problems with relating to friends and family, low self esteem, and anxiety about recurrence. Not all the time, to the outside I look fine and happy.
I am sure it would help me and others if I could chat to people who are experiencing the same.
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Barney
member
Reged: 01/04/2008
Posts: 967
Loc: Northumberland
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Hello fullofherts, welcome to the forum.
I'm sorry I can't offer any help with adjusting to your new life but I'm sure some of the very helpful ladies on here will.
Take care
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"Peace cannot be kept by force. It can only be achieved by understanding." Einstein.
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Alakazsam
member
Reged: 12/09/2008
Posts: 272
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hi there
I am sure things will get better for you and as Barney said I am sure that there are people who can offer you support from their own personal experiences. I wish I could do more to help.
lots of hugs being sent to you though
kaz
x
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chilla
member
Reged: 05/09/2008
Posts: 864
Loc: runcorn
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Are there no online groups for your specific problem, I've seen support groups for some really unusual diseases.
Failing that, stick around and we'll cheer you up. 
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When I have talked for an hour I feel lousy-
Not so when I have danced for an hour;
The dancers inherit the party
While the talkers wear themselves out and
Sit in corners, alone, and glower.
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fullofherts
member
Reged: 03/10/2008
Posts: 5
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Hi Kaz and Chilla
Thanks for your replies. really appreciate having made contact with a few people on here now.
The prob with my own cancer forum is its usually people going through it still, not what it's like afterwards.
Cheering up'll do nicely - I'll def stick around.
Liked the 'Relax: nothing's undr control'!
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lizzietinribs
member
Reged: 18/08/2008
Posts: 888
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Hi fullofherts
Hope life improves for you soon - meanwhile have some chuckles with us. Keep smiling.
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Lizzie xx
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Chickadee
member
Reged: 28/03/2008
Posts: 3442
Loc: South Wales
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Hi fullofherts,
My aunt had bowel cancer about 20 years ago. She has always been pretty healthy and it knocked her for 6. For a while, she was quite reclusive becuase she hated going anywheree, and especially anywhere that involved eating.
However, she made a good recovery, and gradually resumed all her former activites, including quilting and patchwork, riding her bike,seeing friends and going out. When I saw her in the summer, she told me she has now given up the bike riding...she is 89!
She is a little thin and frail looking, but otherwise in very good health - but she's not a computer user, so I can't put you in touch with her.
It's natural that you should still be worried and in low spirits. Have you talked to your GP or your district nurse (I know they aren't called that any more, but you know who I mean!) They might be able to put you in touch with others in the same situation.
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issi
member
Reged: 30/09/2007
Posts: 3066
Loc: Surrey
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Hi fullofherts. I have a friend who has just recovered from chemotherapy for bowel cancer. She has worked as an occupational therapist for many years and has helped many people to restore their lives after illness.
May I recommend a book "anti cancer, a new way of life" by Dr David Servan-Schreiber. It is not a book about alternative therapies or anything like that but it does give a new way of thinking about how we can help to boost our body's natural capacity for protection against cancer and recurrence of cancer. I think everyone should read it.
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Jane2008
member
Reged: 08/01/2008
Posts: 2543
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Hi fullofherts, I was just wondering if you could you start a support group up in your area?
Would your GP or practice nurse be able to put you in contact other people in your area who have been in a similar situation? Or would they be able to make some other suggestions? Have you told them how you are feeling?
Before you make contact with other people who have had bowel cancer in your area you must make sure that this is what you really want. Would meeting other people in the same situation really make you feel better? I'm sure there is more than one option available to you. A friend of mine who had breast cancer has taken up ballroom dancing and says it has lifted her spirits and changed her life for the better. Good luck
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Rosey46
member
Reged: 08/01/2008
Posts: 105
Loc: cornwall
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Jus wanted to say Hi and that although my hubby recovered physically from prostate cancer a few years ago, it did take him a long time to deal with the emotional side.I think you make a good point in that there seems to be little support for people in your position. He is back to his 'normal'self now.
I would say - be kind to yourself and take each day as it comes. Look for the little rainbows, the things that make you smile. I hope you will feel happier soon.
Best Wishes
Rosey
xx
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fullofherts
member
Reged: 03/10/2008
Posts: 5
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Thanks for that - what a fabulous lady, something for me to live up to then! Went to my GP last week so hopefully will get someone to talk it over with soon.
Thanks again, F xxx
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fullofherts
member
Reged: 03/10/2008
Posts: 5
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Hi Jane, I did actually start setting up a group but the commitment was becoming huge. And, yes, I did think that perhaps I wouldn't want to take on too many other problems as well, face to face, when I am vulnerable myself. I've recently joined a choir, and as soon as my daughter's old enough to leave for a few hours I shall hopefully find some other interests too. Thanks for reminding me, difficult to see through the grey sometimes! F xxx
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fullofherts
member
Reged: 03/10/2008
Posts: 5
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Thanks Rosey,
So glad you're hubby's beaten cancer too. I do love seeing little things that make me smile, just been really down lately. I think it may be one of the stages of a type of grief and acceptance, hope so cos that means I'm getting there too.
Thanks for your message, it's amazing how much a few words from someone on here can really make a difference!
Very best wishes to you and your better half (lol)
F xxx
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DeepBlue
member
Reged: 16/02/2008
Posts: 280
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Hi
Having survived 2 major life threatening illnesses in the last six years I totally understand and empathise with you. I had cancer of the womb and found the psychological fall out from that very difficult to cope with. I personally think that surviving major illness makes you go a little mad for a while. I wanted to punch everyone who told me that I was lucky to have survived - of course I was BUT I'd have felt luckier to never have experienced either my heart problems or the cancer. I found that I went through a grieving process - not easy as I had divorced just before my illnesses and have no family. I didn't want to join any self help groups - I'd had enough of 'sick' people - when I told my consultant this he agreed that this was the right approach for me. It isn't for everyone.
What finally helped me was visiting my local Maggie's Centre (don't think you have them in England - they were set up in Scotland by a lady who died of cancer and wanted to make sure that anyone affected by cancer (whether a patient or not) could drop into a beautiful centre where they could talk or simply be there) - you will find them on the web. It was hard to walk into the centre the first time but I was totally welcomed and it was a place of peace and acceptance that helped me to move forward. It was also nice to realise a couple of visits onward that I no longer needed them.
I was much more ill with my heart and closer to death on a number of occasions BUT cancer was much more emotionally charged, not least the reaction of friends who were tearful and convinced I'd die (my heart problems are much more likely to kill me!). One of my nephews who had a leukaemic illness when he was 15 told me that we both knew what it was about but that we shouldn't expect other people to as they haven't had the experience - he advised me to 'build a bridge' -i.e. get over it. Not as harsh as it sounds he really meant we've survived it and now know the value of life so make the most of the rest of it. He's a lovely young man - very caring.
Allow yourself to be depressed from time to time but be happy too about the little joys in life. It does change your life but often for the better. Be kind to yourself and you'll get there. My life is much better now than it's ever been and there are now very few things I worry about anymore.
Sorry didn't mean this to be so long. All the best for the future.
DeepBlue aka Pat
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mrsoverall66
member
Reged: 11/08/2008
Posts: 5
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Hi everybody,
I've been registered for a few weeks now but this is the first time I've really felt that I wanted to post. Like you, fullofhearts, I've found lots and lots of breast cancer topics but nothing that really pertains to my own experience, which is kidney cancer. I lost my left kidney nearly 4 months ago and am still coming to terms with the cancer diagnosis and recovering fully from such major surgery. Things are positive at the moment but there isn't a day goes by currently when I don't think about cancer.
One of the hardest things I've had to deal with is my loss of fitness as I used to run regularly, walk and swim. I am back swimming (albeit slowly and not very far!) and I am gradually increasing my distance and speed with walking too. I've found very little advice for my own particular situation so have been kind of making it up as I go along much to my hubby's dismay! He wants to keep me in bubble wrap but I suppose that's understandable. The last few months have been very hard though and as I approach my first follow up I'm becoming very anxious. I think this is probably quite natural though but I do wonder how it must be once you reach the 5 year mark and the hospital tell you you no longer need regular follow ups? I don't want to find myself second guessing every ache or pain I have. I know that I cannot let cancer rule my life and often have dark moments but even these are becoming less crushing as I regain strength.
I hope life is good to you fullofhearts, you certainly deserve it!
A quick thank you to DeepBlue, I found your post really inspiring and just hope I can manage to achieve some degree of your positivity through what I know will be some anxious times.
Apologies for rambling on, I wish you all health and happiness and now I've taken the plunge will hopefully be posting some more and chatting some more.
Judi x 
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DeepBlue
member
Reged: 16/02/2008
Posts: 280
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Hi Judi
Thank you for your kind words re my post.
It honestly does get better as time goes on however I do feel it will always be somewhere at the back of your mind. I think you have to work hard to distract yourself. You will get your fitness back. I've got my little mantra to keep me going - 'Inch by inch life is a sinch, yard by yard it's awfully hard'. I repeated this to myself when i didn't feel I was moving on. Check Monday's? Daily Telegraph, a cancer survivor has written an interesting article on people's response to her.
By the way when you get the all clear you will be walking on air - better than winning the Lottery. You're a survivor NOT a victim. I couldn't stop grinning like a Cheshire cat. Good luck and all the best
Pat aka DeepBlue
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Susie1740
member
Reged: 15/10/2008
Posts: 1
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Hi all
This is also my first time on this forum but just reading your posts makes me realise that I'm not the only one. I too had an operation at the beginning of January this year to remove a cancerous lump from my kidney and I do find myself at some time during the day still thinking about it and I find there isn't much information around. My next check-up is in December but hopefully it will be a much better Christmas than last year as I was told on 20th December that I would be going in for the operation in January. Good luck to you all. Sue x
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beachbabe
member
Reged: 11/03/2008
Posts: 234
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hi ladies, Thank you for your very inspiring and honest posts. I have Thyroid cancer.
I've had 2 operations (August & September) to remove my thyroid and I'm just waiting now to have radiation treatment.
Its very difficult to talk to people who are not going through it. They have no idea how you feel, what your fears are etc.
I am very lucky in that I can talk to my husband and he is very understanding.
Good luck to you all. Let's hope 2009 is a good year for all of us.
BB xxxx
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