nowcemsi
member
Reged: 24/06/2008
Posts: 125
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Youngest daughter has been working for over a year as a cleaner at a school, and just recently found herself a second job at M & S.
So far so good!
She was asked by M & S to find another cleaner to share her workload so she recommended A whom she had worked with at the school for a year. A started and turned funny on daughter Out of the blue she has sent her to Coventry.
I know the above sounds simplistic but these are the facts.
I am watching my daughters confidence shatter, A (cow bag) is in her late 50s my daughter is 23 and totally gobsmacked.
The line manager asked my daughter why there as an atmosphere between herself and cowbag, daughter declined stating she does not talk about people behind their backs.
She has challenged the woman who just walks off in a huff and talks and laughs with everyone else making my daughter feel totally isolated.
What can she do?
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caz001
member
Reged: 10/09/2008
Posts: 282
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Hi, I think your daughter should tell the truth to her line manager.... "A" sounds a utter "Bi**h who in the long run will look after only herself, your daughter should not worry about telling the truth....
A woman in her 50s should feel utterly ashamed of herself (actually any age!!) she is a bully and the the more she is picking on your daughter the more it will go on she will not change until she as driven your daughter out of her job.
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Caz001
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Snowy1066
member
Reged: 08/07/2008
Posts: 3264
Loc: Southeast
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Thats a terrible shame nowcemsi, it sounds tant amount to mental bullying.
If your daughter's tried to have it out with A and she won't talk, and YD won't tell on her, then I would just tell your daughter to ignore her. She sounds like an ignorant middleaged .....women! And not worth loosing any sleep over.
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Daffodil
member
Reged: 03/04/2008
Posts: 166
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I feel for both you and your daughter nowcemsi because I know you will be worried for her.
One good thing is that the Line Manager has noticed that something is not right. Your daughter must confide in her/him and say what is going on.
Has she not made friends with the other people there who she can talk to and therefore not feel isolated because of this womans bullying. Also if she acts like it isnt bothering her and joins in with the others then the woman might just give over.
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chilla
member
Reged: 05/09/2008
Posts: 864
Loc: runcorn
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We had a case of someone being a bully which we knew nothing about until it came to a head after several years. Once someone said something, a number of other people came up to us and said that x had bullied/sworn etc at them over the years, but they didn't like to say anything.
It's very difficult as management to do anything if no-one tells you and as management we don't want to have a firm where low-level bullying happens.
Tell your daughter to have a word with her manager. If something's not right, it's not right.
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When I have talked for an hour I feel lousy-
Not so when I have danced for an hour;
The dancers inherit the party
While the talkers wear themselves out and
Sit in corners, alone, and glower.
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issi
member
Reged: 30/09/2007
Posts: 3066
Loc: Surrey
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I have a friend who suffered for years from the outright hostility of a middle-aged assistant at M&S. It upset her so much that she was afraid to go into the store. Eventually I rang the manager and told him about it. The next time my friend went in the assistant and the manager both treated her with disdain. Years later the manager moved and the assistant went. We believe now that they were having an affair and were often bullying to other assistants and customers. Who knows why people are so small that they have to vent their weaknesses with bullying like this. The misery it causes is unbelievable and I hope it gets sorted soon. x
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sugababe
member
Reged: 30/09/2008
Posts: 30
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nowcemsi, I am really sorry to read about your daughter.It is really sad that bullying exists everywhere it seems.It's cruel and the people that do it,do so because deep down i think they are very insecure terrified people themselves.They obviously don't believe in the phrase treat people as you wish to be treated do they.This woman sounds very jealous of your daughter after all she is an achiever and a go getter and got that woman the job.your daughter owes it to herself to stand up to her and not be a victim anymore, as the woman is ibviously a nasty piece of work.If we don't tolerate bullying in schools then it also has no place in the working environment either.Tell your daughter to be brave and strong and speak out.Why should she lose her job or find life a misery because of a jealous insecure woman who she helped.  Please let us know what happens soon.Better get back to work x
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Gemini
member
Reged: 10/03/2008
Posts: 2439
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Nowcemsi,
It always amazes me how some women can be, why on earth they can't just come into work do their job, how a bit of a laugh and treat their fellow workers with respect and then go home is a mystery to me.
Your daughter should not be treated as "a whipping boy" by this women (who should be the opposite as for goodness sake your daughter got her the job) to h*ll with not "talking behind her back" she must go and tell her line manager and if she doesn't do anything about it then I suggest that your daughter tells M & S where to go and find herself an employer that will value her as she should be valued.
A good cleaner is worth their weight in gold!
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nowcemsi
member
Reged: 24/06/2008
Posts: 125
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well I have been extremely worried for my daughter, its been going on for a month now but common sense prevailing I thought to myself surely this woman will run out of ideas eventually after all she started it as it where.
Daughter comes in today grinning she made a break through and offered A a hot drink because she thought A looked cold
(personally I would ave left the old sod to freeze) ahem!
and A said No lovey you sit down and enjoy your drink and I will finish off the work for you.
Daughter is still wary though and to this day we dont know and never will why A got so arsy with her.
Hey ho
I m proud of my girl for going in 6 days and nights for a month to be ignored for 3 hours each time but it didnt crack her. A year ago it would have! So A has inadvertently without knowing it made my girl strong.
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wispa
member
Reged: 16/01/2008
Posts: 1945
Loc: Suffolk,
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Nowcemsi (where did you get that nam, ben puzzling me for ages?)
Your daughter is a star - she's learned a valuable lesson. Yo catch more flies with honey than vinegar.
From now on, nothing will faze her
And she couldn't have done it without YOU! Well done on being a great mum
..wispa
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nowcemsi
member
Reged: 24/06/2008
Posts: 125
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I invented my name! as I am afan of the chemical bros but made a typo when I created it and so it stuck at nowcemsi
originally I was going to be cembrosfan but for some reason
it ermmmmmmm ended up the other name LOL
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