LadyGodiva
member
Reged: 19/09/2006
Posts: 292
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someone please tell me how do you look in the mirror and
a)see what others see and feel good about it
b) be happy that you have achieved your goal
Until my mid 30's I was a size 10-12. I thought I was dumpy and fat. Looking back I realise that I was not and would kill for that figure again but at the time it made me miserable. As time went on so did the weight until I became a size 16 and KNEW I was fat. I avoided all mirrors and made excuses for myself until I managed to overthrow the the pig in me and fight back. I am now a size 12 and heading in the right direction but yes you have guessed it I FEEL FAT!!! The wisdom of age has helped me recognise that clearly I am not fat and I am reasured constantly by others but I SEE FAT. I know too that size 12 clothes are 'normal size'. I realise this has to do with my psychology. I do not have nor have I ever had an eating disorder but I do have this poor relationship with my body. I certain that I am not alone so ladies fo me and for anyone else reading this and thinking that's me too
HOW DO WE LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND SEE WHAT OTHERS SEE?
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expatK
member
Reged: 18/01/2008
Posts: 1052
Loc: Frankfurt,Germany
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I really don't know, Carliz, but I just wish I looked in the mirror and DIDN'T see what others see!!
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ChrissiFi
member
Reged: 28/06/2006
Posts: 1293
Loc: Somerset
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Carliz, size 12 is size! The average woman in the UK is a 16 so that's normal (remember the M&S ad from a few years ago with a woman on top of a hill in Somerset shouting "I'm NORMAL" to the world). Reading PMK's book has certainly helped me to see myself as I really am and I now feel happier with my size than when I was a 10/12 and constantly struggling to stay that way.
Try picking one part of your body to start with and look at in the mirror and say to yourself "yes, my .... looks pretty darn good". If you tell yourself that you look good often enough you will feel it too. Everytime you have a negative thought about your size give yourself a good mental slap!
Hope this helps.
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Sella_Vee
member
Reged: 03/04/2008
Posts: 828
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Carliz, get hold of the book that says it can make you thin, by the well known hypnotist PMK, as mentioned by ChrissiFi. The CD that comes with it is excellent for improving the way you feel about your body. Listen to it every day for a fortnight and get ready for your self esteem to improve.
I know what you mean about feeling fat in your youth. I always felt fat growing up - I'm quite short so I'm never going to be a beanpole - but now I'd love to have the figure I had then.
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LadyGodiva
member
Reged: 19/09/2006
Posts: 292
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thank you for the advice I am going out to get the book and have a read. Watch for the post that says I am only size 12 and everyone keeps telling me I must be an 18 - you will know then the book worked! In the meantime I am off for yet another calorie burning jog around the block
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Sweet_Pea
member
Reged: 25/08/2008
Posts: 1252
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Carliz, I sympathise. I look back now and realise that I never had a weight problem until I started dieting and can only dream of getting back to the weight I was when I went on my first diet. I'm a 12-14 now with a healthy BMI but like you have a poor body image. I'm going to have a look for PMK's book and CD too.
Sweetpeasue
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mazzi
member
Reged: 20/09/2008
Posts: 43
Loc: North West
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Is it really any wonder we have poor body image - we are constantly bombarded in every advertising media with stick thin unrealistic bodies that are nigh on impossible for us to attain let alone sustain. I'm a size 12 myself and yes consider myself big compared to what I see every day, as my body does not conform with the ideal size 6 that I'm supposed to have.
I know I'm not overweight, but like everything, if you're told something long enough you begin to believe it. Ya boo sucks to all advertising media bosses for making us feel like this - I hope all your Jimmy Choo heels snap, your Fendi bags fall to bits and your Prada dresses get eaten by moths - so there - rant over !!!!
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jessie_1
member
Reged: 07/03/2006
Posts: 986
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If you think you have a problem at a size 12 try being a size 16/18
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Diamonds may be a Girls best friend, but I prefer real friends.
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chilla
member
Reged: 05/09/2008
Posts: 864
Loc: runcorn
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Join the club mrs hinge 
Apparently it takes at least a year to get used to your body and see it as it actually is following weight loss. I lost 4 stone last year and put it all back on because in my head I didn't see that I looked any different! One of the reasons that the recommendation is to lose weight slowly so that your mind has the chance to adapt.
And (don't know how they worked it out, but who cares) we are 20% more attractive than we believe ourselves to be. 
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When I have talked for an hour I feel lousy-
Not so when I have danced for an hour;
The dancers inherit the party
While the talkers wear themselves out and
Sit in corners, alone, and glower.
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