susieblue
member
Reged: 16/03/2008
Posts: 907
Loc: Devon
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Ladies, need your help. Have a diplomatic crisis looming. We have to go to my mother's tomorrow (200 miles away) and will have dinner with the outlaws (they live in the same town). Mother will go too. My mum is getting dementia and her memory is getting pretty bad. She has totally forgotten that we took her to Spain last February for a week and that she stayed with us for a total of 3 weeks. We have felt compelled (long story) to inviting the outlaws to Spain for 6 days in October and all flights are booked. They can't get out there by themselves as their eyesight is failing and FIL can't drive anymore and where we stay, you need a car.
I have to tell my mother that we are taking them and think this should be done this weekend. Don't want it coming from MIL initially who has rather a large mouth. This is to a person who keeps saying how she never goes anywhere. Her reaction will be pathetic. Help!
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trendymurm
member
Reged: 07/03/2008
Posts: 141
Loc: Kent
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Did you take any photos when you were last in Spain with your Mum? If you did perhaps you could use them to help tell your Mum that you are taking the outlaws to Spain and help remind her she was there in February.
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wispa
member
Reged: 16/01/2008
Posts: 1948
Loc: Suffolk,
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Why not tell the Outlaws about your Mum, and ask them not to mention the holiday in front of her
..WISPA
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Vicky123
member
Reged: 22/02/2008
Posts: 2172
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I'm with wispa on this one, if the outlaws will go with it I'd ask them not to say anything. However if you cant do that Trendy's idea is a super one. Am feeling for you on this as I've had to juggle like this many times. All the best
xx
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susieblue
member
Reged: 16/03/2008
Posts: 907
Loc: Devon
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Yes will have to rely on MIL. She knows my mum well but can open her mouth first and engage her brain later. She is also well aware of my mother's mental state, having told me several times that I should put her in a home and one night saying she was going round to my mother's to have her admitted to a mental hospital! Quite the diplomat sometimes! I shall ask OH to tell her to keep her mouth shut as I just get lectured and she knows OH will hang up the phone on her if she even begins to try! It's just so nice to have some moral support from you all.
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wispa
member
Reged: 16/01/2008
Posts: 1948
Loc: Suffolk,
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Ooops. So you don't want to upset your mother, and daren't upset MIL as you have to spend a week with her.
May OH should have a word, remind MIL that she has to spend a week with the pair of you, so better keep her mouth shut.
Good luck!
..wispa
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Foxie
member
Reged: 09/08/2007
Posts: 4024
Loc: South London
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Good luck, can't offer any advice, but you have my heartfelt sympathy............
Foxie x.
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In your journey through life, take what works for you and let the rest go. Susan Jeffers
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cupcake
member
Reged: 15/02/2008
Posts: 3005
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You have my heartfelt sympathy as well susieblue.
My mum is now in the last stages of Alzheimer's so I have an idea of how difficult things must be for you.
I hope it all goes well for you and that your Mum can understand and accept whatever you decide to tell her.
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BumbleBee
member
Reged: 24/08/2008
Posts: 311
Loc: Leicestershire
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caught between a rock and a hard place. Will keep my fingers crossed for you - hope it all goes well.
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susieblue
member
Reged: 16/03/2008
Posts: 907
Loc: Devon
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Thanks everyone. In the end that week wasn't mentioned but MIL was in sensible mode. Have decided my mother will just have to do her Mrs Pathetic (she could get an Oscar for it) because the next day, she will have completely forgotten - hopefully!! Will hopefully not have to tell her until the day before we go.
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Sweet_Pea
member
Reged: 25/08/2008
Posts: 1253
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Is your MIL my MIL? If putting your foot in your mouth was an olympic sport she'd have a gold medal! I empathise and hope all works out well, especially when you are in Spain.
Sweetpeasue
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issi
member
Reged: 30/09/2007
Posts: 3066
Loc: Surrey
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Hi Susieblue. I did a family holiday in the Algarve with the elders and one of them was past the first stages of Alzheimers. I hope your holiday goes well and if you find it hard going you can at least console yourself with the thought that it will be over soon. x x
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