dbverycherry
member
Reged: 24/02/2007
Posts: 6531
Loc: Kent UK
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  Nothing from my friend for over 5 days?
I had sent her text messages over these last few days as I normally do and she normally texts me back asap.....
Phew just now she called.
Good news. Her tumor has shrunk and no reply was due to her phone battery had lost its charge and when I phoned her she was out!
My dear friend is feeling loads better this time and after her 2nd chemo treatment but has since decided to get a wig as her hair is falling out thick and fast and making her feel very down with the worry.
Going next Monday with her to help her decide on which wig to get and have a bit of a laugh in the process   
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OzzieKez
member
Reged: 21/06/2008
Posts: 2759
Loc: Queensland, Australia
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Great news Deb! Getting a wig will do wonders for her self esteem.
All the best
Kerrie
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dbverycherry
member
Reged: 24/02/2007
Posts: 6531
Loc: Kent UK
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Yes your a sweetie Ozzie Kerrie and that is what both think and said to one another today 'self esteem'.
Sorry I meant to add to my last post a BIG thank you to you Kerrie and other forum ladies who have been so caring and have PM me recently and who have been asking after my friend.
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LindaH
member
Reged: 10/09/2007
Posts: 311
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I have been there, a few years ago now, but here are a few things that helped me when I had breast cancer.
1. when I went for my chemo it was good to have someone to go with, just to chat about un - cancer related stuff while it was going on.
2. I had chemo in 3 week cycles and for the first week I felt very tired. Friends would drop off casseroles, soup, any thing that meant I didn't have to cook that week and sometimes I put their food in the freezer for 'off' days.
3. Friends would arrange 'spa days' if I felt like it and that was very up lifting and reassuring.
4. Would have loved the 'goody bag' idea. Brilliant.
5. I remember I was given tickets for the Chelsea Flower Show for me and my OH and that was something to aim for. Luckily the show took place during the 3rd week of my chemo cyle when I felt OK and I really enjoyed it.
6. Take your lead from her. She'll soon tell you if she doesn't feel like talking on the phone, but the main thing is, try to imagine what YOU would want if it was you.
Hope this is helpful. xx
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dbverycherry
member
Reged: 24/02/2007
Posts: 6531
Loc: Kent UK
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Thanks Linda it is always helpful to get such advice and from someone who has been there. Yes I agree it is always good to get a helping hand as such and at times like this for my friend. Best wishes to you and for your continuing good health. 
From me Debbie dbverycherry
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carolo
member
Reged: 10/08/2008
Posts: 1
Loc: Hertfordshire
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Debbie, what a lovely friend you are! I have just completed seven months of treatment for breast cancer too and have been very glad of the support my friends and family have given me.
I am pleased your friend had some good news about her tumour. The chemo can be pretty horrible but you soon learn how to cope with the various side effects. (They finally found a way to sort out my sickness on the last session - typical!) My two BFs came with me to help me choose my wig and we were crying with laughter! I got a lovely Raquel Welch one on the NHS but in the end have only worn it a couple of times on "grey" days as I wore the cold cap and only lost some of my hair. I hope your friend finds something she is happy with as, with everything that she will go through, it is so hard as well to look in the mirror every day and see a stranger looking at you.
I have been very lucky as the hospital where I had my treatments (Chemo and radiotherapy) have a Macmillan centre where you can drop in for advice and which also offers complementary therapies and relaxation classes for free. If your friend can take advantage of something similar in her area I would encourage her to pop in and see what is available to her - there is a wealth of help and support for all cancer patients. One thing I really enjoyed was the "Look Good - Feel Better" session where you are given a make up lesson with other ladies and a brilliant bag of cosmetic goodies to keep. It was lovely to be with other people in a similar situation and to be able to let our hair/wigs/hats down! Everyone left feeling glamorous and more confident to face the mirror.
Sorry if I have waffled on - I only looked at the forum for the first time tonight and was touched by your concern for your friend. I am sure she appreciates your support and is glad to know you are there. I hope everything goes well for her.
Take care,
Carol
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dbverycherry
member
Reged: 24/02/2007
Posts: 6531
Loc: Kent UK
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Hello Carolo and welcome to these often helpful, fun, friendly and caring forums of W&H.
Thanks you for taking the time and trouble to post here yesterday. I have only just seen your message as I don't usually go on the forums on a Sunday.
I must say I am a bit nervous going with my friend today to find her a wig so how she must be feeling I can only guess.
It was her suggestion that I go with her and she come and pick me up so I do feel a little easier knowing she wants me around.
The advice about the Macmillan center for help and advice I am sure she has been told but even so I will pass this information on that you gave Carolo as I am sure it will give her a boost and as you say help her. The idea of the 'Look Good - Feel Better' session is very good even in just the heading This is what I hope the wig does for her as well.
Another younger good friend's baby is due today so there is happiness and joy as well for me right now and at least this give me something other than cancer to talk about to my dear friend today. Who knows I might even go and see my heavily pregnant friend at the same hospital today!
Bye for now and thanks to all who have PM and posted here please keep in touch it certainly is of help to me.
Best wishes from me Debbie
P.S Carolo waffle away as much as you like it does one good .I often do on here   some kind person is normally about to listen and help you.
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dbverycherry
member
Reged: 24/02/2007
Posts: 6531
Loc: Kent UK
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Hi there ladies.
An update for those who have followed this post about my friend who has cancer.
I called her today and have been sending her a post card and a text message each week while I was away on holiday these past 3 weeks down south and in Cornwall.
My friend has been wearing her smart wig that I helped her to pick out from the surprisingly good selection avaliable on the NHS. She mentioned today that she even got it trimmed at her local hair dressers so as it would suit her face better.
 Hopefully we will get to the RHS harvest show in London. Her October treatment is the week before so with any luck she will be well enough and feel able to come along with me to see the wonderful prize winning vegetables and flower displays.
RHS Autumn Harvest Show 7 - 8 October 2008 
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dbverycherry
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OzzieKez
member
Reged: 21/06/2008
Posts: 2759
Loc: Queensland, Australia
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Fabulous news Deb. Keep up the good work!
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dbverycherry
member
Reged: 24/02/2007
Posts: 6531
Loc: Kent UK
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Good to get all the support, help and advice from you lot. So ladies please keep up with the pms, suggestions and information as it is appreciated.
What happens after her last course of chemo? How long will it be till she can hopefully get the all clear after the opperation?
My friend does get very low and delicate for a few days after each chemo session but the tummor is shrinking. She still has to have the opperation to remove the breast but I guess this is because they wish to remove all possible affected tissue.
So my dear friend isn't out of the woods yet but she is keeping very positive and putting a very brave face on it all. I think she is the one doing the hard work and I am just there to give her a bit of support when she needs it.
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dbverycherry
member
Reged: 24/02/2007
Posts: 6531
Loc: Kent UK
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Hi there ladies.
Those who so kindly replied here and also PM me over the last few months with kind thoughts, advice and just plain facts it has helped and please continue.
I have had to delete many PMs as my in box got full so I do not have your contact details now. Please contact me again thanks your messages are appreciated.
I wanted to just let you know that my good friend has completed her course of chemotherapy now and has a date for her operation late January.
She has opted for breast reconstruction surgery at a later date as she feels her body needs time to recover from having both breasts removed and from all the drugs this involves.
Those who know it doesn't mean she has an easy ride ahead neither is she cancer free for years but she is looking forward to the Christmas break and hopefully feeling better now she is of the chemotherapy drugs.
Today I am meeting up with her to help her do her last minute shopping for bits & bobs and the odd present then we are going to have a slap up lunch 
I just hope her taste buds have started working again and mores to the point she can survive and I wish I can be there for her to be of some tiny use and support to my dear friend.
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dbverycherry
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Chickadee
member
Reged: 28/03/2008
Posts: 4028
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Thank you for letting us know about your friend Debbie. I am thinking of you and her in my prayers. The fact that she has a caring friend like you is wonderful.
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dbverycherry
member
Reged: 24/02/2007
Posts: 6531
Loc: Kent UK
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Hi there 
I went to check if anyone had responded to this post today and it took me an age to find it as it was way down on page 8 of the list?? Odd seeing as I and you posted on it today.
What is going on W&H Web team?
Got our shopping done and had lunch.
My dear friend gave me a thank you gift today a sweet silver and pearl bracelet. She said it was because I had been so understanding and helpful.
I felt a bit choked, moved and sad at the same time. I nearly said I felt so helpless and as if I hadn't done much at all but I knew this would have only started us both off crying.
I'm PMT this week am extra emotional. Up one minute down the next often for no apparent reason
Instead of getting to emotional I just said we are both one to face facts and get on with what ever life throws at us be it good or bad and left it at that phew.
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dbverycherry
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bevvywevvy
member
Reged: 20/10/2008
Posts: 540
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Hi,
Please advise your friend about B17. It is a vitamin that is missing from our diet and one of the reasons we have 1 in 3 people affected by cancer now.
I had breast cancer just under 3 years ago and had to undergo a lumpectomy and removal of nodes from under my arm. After doing a lot of reading and research I opted to avoid chemo and radiotherapy and Tamoxafen which they wanted me on for 5 years. I am perfectly fit and healthy and am convinced that this simple vitamin is keeping me cancer clear. You must also read a book called CANCER, WHY WE ARE STILL DYING TO LEARN THE TRUTH BY PHILIP DAY. It is hard to learn the stuff you will read in there but it is the thing that gave me hope and inspiration at a time when things were very very frightening.
Be brave, have faith and dont be afraid to choose an alternative route. Doctors mean well but are not always right. Good luck.xxx
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dbverycherry
member
Reged: 24/02/2007
Posts: 6531
Loc: Kent UK
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Hi bevvywevvy and thanks for your suggestions.
Of course I will pass this information onto my friend who has the cancer. She is in her 50s and is a fully qualified nurse. I know she, and as I would, will consider it starting from a professional and fully medically researched point of view concerning her cancer.
I did think twice before posting this reply openly on these public forums and so I have read what I have said here over a few times.
I do not wish to knock anything you have said and this is my personal point of views here and nothing more so please do not take offence as I can assure you none is meant.
Bevvywevvy I for one am very sceptical of such claims as yours but I wish you well and don't for one minute say it hasn't worked for you and in your particular circumstances.
Of course I do understand we all need a good and natural balance in our diet. I understand from basic teaching and research that natural vitamins and minerals found in our daily foods are there for our bodies it to function well and help us ward off illness and disease.
My dear dad died from cancer at just 53, 13 years ago on the 10th of February.
Sadly he had no time time consider anything other than basic medical care as from when he was diagnosed to when he died was only three weeks.
He was by then far to ill and weak to even considered for having any chemo or other drugs apart from the pain killers.
In my dad's case his consultant rightly noted, to my knowledge and understanding of the facts,that a number of factors resulted in my dad's cancer.
These included my dad's road accident(some thirty years before) which caused a deep internal wound and that was where the cancer was growing.
Also he noted that my dad's place of work for a few years at Erith Oil Works had most probably contributed to his cancers advancement and its rapid development one way or other.
I have come across this book you mention.
I agree with you bevvywevvy and as the book points out that we shouldn't put complete and blind faith and trust in any man or woman and their words.
We should always ask questions of such folk and in such cases as cancer treatment ask for medical research and evidence if necessary to show what we are being told is correct and is the truth.
We are the only ones in the end who can decide what is right for ourselves and or well-being. My dad had to decide and sign, with me there as a witness, to come off the dialysis as his body was failing him and he choose to naturally fade and was just on painkillers in his last days. I know he had a strong faith in God and I feel sure that helped him make such a brave and personal decision.
Bevvywevvy we all need to make up own minds. I would suggest it is based on the clear evidence and facts. But sometimes it isn't available then to me it just boils down to what we truly believe and have faith in.
My best and sincere wishes to you and anyone with such illness and for all your choices and options in your life that you choose to take.
Debbie in Kent
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dbverycherry
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