kim1967
member
Reged: 05/07/2008
Posts: 10
Loc: Worthing
|
|
Hi........how to start?
My Dad died 20/6 from pancreatic cancer - diagnosed 7wks before......he was only 60 and his birthday is next week and life is just pants.
I was there when he died, held him close willing him to let go and it was the most terrible moment in my life. I just wondered if and I'm sure someone has gone through this. How do you get through it? x
|
shellseeker
member
Reged: 07/01/2008
Posts: 864
|
|
Hi Kim
I have PMd you, click on the little flashing envelope next to User Options.
--------------------
|
blossom97
member
Reged: 02/02/2008
Posts: 1401
|
|
Kim, My heart goes out to , you it really does.Things will get better, we all take varying times to go through the grieving process.What I found helped me, is to accept these stages as normal and go with them.There are some good books on the subject, I wont recommend any as I feel you need to go to a good book shop and choose your own.
It took me ages to get over my mum and I used to be embarrassed about that, as I was a grown woman.But we are all different and react in different ways.
You will feel better given time, I know you will.
Love to you
Blosomx
--------------------
|
brandyqueen
member
Reged: 01/04/2008
Posts: 636
Loc: essex
|
|
Kim, I am so sorry. one day at a time, when my dad died it was a huge shock and its been 18 years now, but i still think of him every day, and wish he was here. Take it slowly remember the good times and bank all those memories to look back on.sending you a hug Elaine xx
--------------------
|
Barney
member
Reged: 01/04/2008
Posts: 462
Loc: Northumberland
|
|
Hello Kim
I don't know what to say only that I'm thinking of you at such a sad time.It must be an awful shock, you've had no time to adjust to the diagnosis. My Mum died within a week of being diagnosed with a brain tumour and so I have some understanding of how you must feel but you will come through in your own way.
Take care of yourself and lean on those who have the love and strength to support you at this very difficult time.
Bx
--------------------
|
PLASMO
member
Reged: 13/03/2008
Posts: 2052
|
|
Kim,
I am so sorry to hear of your father's death. When my sister died last year of breast cancer, I was totally heartbroken because we weres so close. Its just over a year, and although I still feel emotional, I tend to now think of all the happy times we had together, and try not to think of when she actually passed away.
Your emotional state will improve as the days go by, and try to remember your father when he was well and happy.
Plasmo x
--------------------
|
rosettastone
member
Reged: 11/03/2008
Posts: 296
Loc: Kent/Surrey borders
|
|
My dad died 10 years ago, and I still miss him sometimes. All I can say that how you deal with it depends on the individual ...don't do the same as me and bottle it all up, talking about it all is the best way . It will take time, but it really is the best healer. Don't be too harsh on yourself.
--------------------
carpe diem - seize the day!
|
Floozie
member
Reged: 01/09/2006
Posts: 1687
Loc: Oxon
|
|
I have sent you pm. Click on the flashing envelope at the top of the page to open it.
|
Venitia
member
Reged: 01/07/2008
Posts: 28
|
|
Hello Kim. I am so very sorry to hear of your sad loss. Your father was very young. Coping with a death is never easy, especially when you have only recently being given a diagnosis. It just seems so unfair not to be given the time to adjust and accept the situation. Grieving and bereavement is a very individual and personal experience and will never be the same for 2 people. The older we get the more loved ones we seem to lose and it never gets any easier. As others have said, each day can only be taken one at a time and some will be a little easier than others. The loss does not diminish, we just learn to live with it and hopefully whenever we remember our loved ones their memories will bring a smile to the face.
|
hollyj
member
Reged: 12/01/2008
Posts: 613
|
|
Hi Kim, im so sorry for your loss.I was with my mum when she passed away from lung cancer,it was so traumatic i know exactly how you feel, for months and months i kept reliving the last minutes wondering if i could have done,or said something better, i know i did my best as you have done for your dad, its an awful trauma you have been through that will take as long as you need to start to recover, look after yourself and be kind to yourself, you were with him when he died so he wasnt alone,its a wonderful thing to have done for him.
|
chattycathy
member
Reged: 09/01/2008
Posts: 2535
Loc: N,Ireland
|
|
Hi Kim,I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through...I was with my dad when he passed away from lung cancer 5years ago...he passed suddenly while was visiting him & my mum in England,he had only been diagnosed 10weeks before,because he died so suddenly the rest of my family except for my mum & another brother didnt get there on time...I miss my dad terribly at times but I will forever be thankful that I got to spend his last days with him...grief
manifests itself in many ways...dont push it aside as I did as it catches up with you in the end...look after yourself Kim,things do get better & life goes on and in time you will be able to smile again...
Cathy X
--------------------
 Chattycathy
|
Foxie
member
Reged: 09/08/2007
Posts: 2731
Loc: South London
|
|
So sorry to hear your news. My father died 7 years ago in August this year and I still miss him........ but I am so glad I was lucky enough to have him as a father and that I have so many, many happy memories of him.
The first year after a death is really difficult, so many anniversaries to go through for the first time without him.
Take time, allow yourself time to remember and to grieve. It's ok to be upset, don't think you have to be strong for everyone. Life will get better and the sun will shine for you again.
Hugs Foxie x.
--------------------
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make all of them yourself. Eleanor Roosevelt
|
Denzy
member
Reged: 04/09/2007
Posts: 472
|
|
Hi Kim, my dad died 1st July, 2004, it was the day after my birthday,my brother and I sat with him all night on the night of my birthday and he died the following day at 4.15 in the afternoon I sat by his bed the whole day holding his hand. He had been ill for 6months with lung cancer, and was very ill in the end but he had lived until he was 90. You on the other hand have had to take in his illness and then his death all in a short period of time, you never had a chance to get used to his illness, but remember you were with him all the time he didn't die alone you done your upmost best for him. You will get over it but as with everything time is a great healer.Just remember the good times and if you need to cry then cry I always say don't bottle these things up get it out. Thinking of you, Denzy x
|
kim1967
member
Reged: 05/07/2008
Posts: 10
Loc: Worthing
|
|
Thankyou all for you kind comments, they do help, if nothing else just to know that this is normal............
x
|
RunGirl
member
Reged: 11/01/2008
Posts: 464
Loc: South East London
|
|
So sorry to hear your news, will be thinking of you. The only comfort I can offer is that it really does get easier in time x
|
valaber
member
Reged: 28/03/2008
Posts: 2266
Loc: South Wales
|
|
Kim, just to say I am thinking of you. Remember that grieving is natural and important - and a tribute to the person you have lost. After my mother died, I understood for the first time why people wear black as a sign of mourning - I couldn't bear to wear bright colours for a long time. But as everyone says, little by litttle you will pick up your life again. Meanwhile, we are all here thinking of you and sending you our support.
--------------------
|
juliao
member
Reged: 28/06/2008
Posts: 2
|
|
Kim I am so sorry to learn of your loss it does take time to adjust to life and even accept that your Dad is no longer around. I lost my Dad 17 years ago and no one can ever take away from you the happy memories of the times that you and your Dad shared together.
Take care
|
Suee
member
Reged: 21/01/2008
Posts: 940
Loc: Switzerland
|
|
Im so sorry Kim for what you are feeling and going through.I lost my dad early too, but i wasnt there as it happened so quickly.From his diagnose to his passing was three months.I was here in Switzerland phoning for news and working out when to go, when suddenly it happend.I feel so bad that I was not there,at least you were with him. Be grateful for that.Time does heal,but it takes a while, look after yourself, remember the good times, ask for help if you need it,it is nothing to be ashamed of.A big hug from me, Suee xxx
--------------------
___________________
|
HeadGirl
member
Reged: 11/01/2008
Posts: 1848
Loc: Maidstone, Kent, England
|
|
Hi Kim,
So sorry to hear of your news.
I have no experience of this, but know that there are a lot of lovely girls on here that can give you help and support when you need it.
Thinking of you and your family.
--------------------
|
alpro
member
Reged: 08/06/2007
Posts: 6
|
|
Hi Kim,
just read your message, my dad was diagnosed with kidney cancer 2 years ago, and died within 5 weeks, we were all with him when he went, he was 67. Its such a blow when it happens, one the shock and anger wear off, then you have your special memories, but you will always miss him, be strong and support each other. Good luck, Angie
|
Previous
Index
Next
Threaded
Edit
Reply
Quote
