anndotty
member
Reged: 11/06/2008
Posts: 38
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Oh God !! I have cursed every day when I have had to pick up after her, her moods have driven me around the bend, and the mess she leaves the bathroom in !!!!!. But, now she has decided to move out and I am dreading it !! of course I want her to go and see the world and live it up,but how will I cope with no one to moan at ? and how am I going to stop myself worrying about her ,please tell me how to cope someone !!!
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Foxie
member
Reged: 09/08/2007
Posts: 3375
Loc: South London
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Give yourself a big pat on the back! You have done a fab job as a mum! It is not good bye but au revoir and once the grandchildren come along you will be No. 1 on speed dial!
Foxie x.
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Life is like a tin of sardines, we're all of us looking for the key. Alan Bennett.
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Chickadee
member
Reged: 28/03/2008
Posts: 2653
Loc: South Wales
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You won't stop worrying about her - sometimes! Your house will be your own, so will your make-up, jewellery and clothes. The bathroom will be tidy and available when you want it - and she will be back to see you!
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BeauSoleil
member
Reged: 26/03/2008
Posts: 913
Loc: France
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Well done! Isn't this what you've been building up to? My youngest has just turned four so still some way to go. WHen it happens I know I'm going to struggle to let them go!!
Good luck and quick change her room now before she comes back!!
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dbverycherry
member
Reged: 24/02/2007
Posts: 3000
Loc: Kent UK
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Dear Ann dotty if your daughter is anything like mine, or a bit like my son and his attitude towards home, she will be back and sooner than you think 
As the saying goes 'Home is where the heart is' and in my 19 year old daughter's and 21 year old son's case also is where ever they get there favorite meals cooked for them!  They come home on their college/ university summer breaks  But the down side is they generally come back with bad habits like bringing their dirty washing home and for you to do!! 
Being serious it is hard and I have found it a real pull on my heart strings when saying goodbye to my son when he went up to Norwich from here in Kent at the beginning of this year.
Letting go of ones kids that we have looked after all these years and for so long we have been there for them is no easy task. I am sure many forum ladies and mums would agree with how you feel and that you are not alone.
There was a post on the forums recently and a while back. It was on the lines of ' kids leaving home and some going to university ' and it touched on what you say here Ann.
Best wishes to you and your daughter from me Debbie dbverycherry on these W&H forums
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gigi
member
Reged: 12/04/2008
Posts: 1830
Loc: North East
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Three of my four have now left, the one remaining is way too old to still be at home. ED was engaged but had the courage to end it. since Tuesday she has been visiting ES and Oh! the silence, I can honestly say that the only benefit to her not being here is that the toilet roll lasts a lot longer. Still I have had a trial run to what it will be like when she finally does leave, it won't be easy, but I have put in over thirty years of parenting and will learn to adjust. So will you, in time Anndotty. Best wishes xG
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Edited by gigi (04/07/2008 21:43)
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OzzieKez
member
Reged: 21/06/2008
Posts: 1070
Loc: Queensland, Australia
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Our job is to raise our kids to be independent. Still I know that particular pain that, in its way is like bereavement. My gorgeous boy left us to live with another family...he has a poxy part-time job at KFC. Not quite the life I had envisioned for him. He was 16. I had not finished with him yet. He became enamored with the weed smoking rebellious crowd at school which he completed with such spectacular marks as E minus (for art)! Every day, several times, my heart breaks and I hope that he will return to us. Every day I hold my breath though the news report! Still I know that I am better off than those who have lost their children completely!
Best wishes to you both. May life bring you both all that you could wish for!
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dbverycherry
member
Reged: 24/02/2007
Posts: 3000
Loc: Kent UK
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I am so sorry to read of your son Ozzie and my heart goes out to you and how you must be feeling.
My MIL had a simular experience with her middle child a son. Thankfully he did, given time and in the end, come home and realized it was where he was truly loved and belonged.
I will pray he will return home some day soon and realize you have his best wishes at heart
Love and [] hugs [] from me Debbie  in Kent UK
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ShelBee
member
Reged: 07/04/2008
Posts: 228
Loc: Bangor, N. I.
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Hi OzzieKez,
have just read your post re restless legs on Health and Wellbeing but am now deeply saddened by this post regarding your son. How did this happen? Perhaps by letting him go now he will "wise up" as they say here in Northern Ireland and hopefully come home to you. After all he is only 16!
I hope things work out in time. Please let us know.
Shelbee
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Take time to smell the roses.
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aggipanthus
member
Reged: 05/04/2006
Posts: 179
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First of all there is the old adage of if you love someone you let them go. Be pleased that you have raised someone who feels capable of going out into this big old world of ours, and taking care of herself. The best things we can do for out children are to love them, bring them up to have respect for themselves, their elders and so on, to be able to say NO to anything they are uncomfortable with, to show them love, let them know we are always there, and then to let them spread their wings.
And secondly, you won't ever stop worrying. My 'boys' are 37 and 33, been looking after themselves since leaving home at 18, apart from a brief sojourn at home in the case of the elder when he followed us up here rather than stay in Middlesex. It was awful when they left, and I still worry at times.
But you have done your job, now it's ME TIME.. enjoy.
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anndotty
member
Reged: 11/06/2008
Posts: 38
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Thank you all so much for your comments, I know i am so lucky because i do have a lovely 11 year old granddaughter who at the moment loves it when I ask her if she wants to spend the weekend here and, I also have a lovely husband so after reading ozziekez note I feel truly blessed. and I do hope your(ozzie) son comes home soon.I am so glad I found this forum its lovely to have someone to talk to.
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