hollyUK
member
Reged: 06/08/2007
Posts: 323
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I run two businesses from home, run the home and we go away a lot of weekends and I just am finding it difficult to cope. Things are slipping through the net and I'm not performing well and business is suffering as a result.
I find I'm getting very stressed and then sit and surf the net as a means to escape which of course makes things even worse!
How do you all cope? Do you have routines? Do you do lists? Is your day and week structured?
Can anyone give me some specific practical advice please?
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mezzanine
member
Reged: 09/03/2008
Posts: 161
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Hi HollyUK
For me it's lists, lists and yet more lists. I have lists for work, home, in fact, everything. All done seperately. Then when I've completed something on my list I cross it through with a red pen so I know I've done it. I try not to go onto the next task until I've done and dusted the last one too. I know, I'm sad but I'm also stressed at the moment with work and stuff, so I've booked a day off and I'm doing my garden that hasn't had any TLC since last October! Well, I'm having a cup of tea at the moment!
I also try to prioritise things which makes things easier, doing the stuff I don't want to do first.
I'm not sure if this will help as we are all different in the way we do things but it does help me. It will be interesting to see what others come up with.
Good luck.
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There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy - Robert Louis Stevenson
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle - Plato
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BettyRubble
member
Reged: 06/02/2008
Posts: 215
Loc: South west France
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Do you have to go away at the weekends as part of your business? Is there anyway you could reduce the amount of time you have to spend away ? If not then I think you need to look at the home 'work' you have to do. Employ a cleaner as a justifiable work expense and send your ironing out to be done.
Forums like this and the net in general are great eaters of time, so limit yourself. Have an egg timer set for for ten or fifteen minutes and stick to that rule.
When I was working from home, I split the day into hour sessions, giving myself 10/15 minutes at the end of each hour to make a cup of coffee, and reflect on the previous hours work, to see if I'd missed anything - or simply chill on the internet or read the paper - but my egg-timer gave me structure.
Remember you're not super woman and you need me time, if you're ill through stress, even less will be acheived.
Hope any of the above helps.
Betty
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Duffy
member
Reged: 14/02/2008
Posts: 1126
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Hi Holly.....stressed??..Not good...
I prioritise,..tasks that are important get done and lesser can wait
Its good to make lists and tick off when job done..
Delegation is good if you have staff??...Or do you need to consider taking someone on??
What are your businesses??.....the reason I ask is because I keep wracking my brains as to what I could do at home...so interesting to chat to someone who has done it ..not once but twice..
Time off is important..but can you swith off....
I find a run or brisk walk is good for the body,soul and mind.....so if things get too stressful....put your pen down and walk out....brisk walk clear your head then back to it
Do you work certain hours in a day...or is it all 24/7??...maybe this needs addressing??..maybe need to look at time management!!
How is your stress showing itself??...what are your symptoms....I am doing a stress management course so again of interest.... If it is making you ill you seriously need to rethink your life??.....
Or do you just need a holiday re charge your batteries???
Do you find it easy to switch off...do you sleep ok and for how long??
Do you get tearful and find your thoughts negative??
Do you drink/smoke??
Any chest pain/shortness of breath or panic attacks??
Gosh all this sounds abit daunting doesnt it..but its often good to get an idea of your stress levels....and how they affect your health..
..and definately a housekeeper or similar...you cant do it all??.....
Food shopping online,cleaner,gardener...if you can afford it??
Good luck..
Duffy...x
Edited by Duffy (02/05/2008 12:12)
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decorator
member
Reged: 29/01/2008
Posts: 291
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Hi holly ,I'm now retired ,thank God,but did have a very demanding job.I think the first thing you must do is off load anything that you can.I found it too much doing everything.Your business is your income so give that priority.Get help in the home and garden if you can afford it.I found it an enormous relief getting rid of that side of things.It was lovely knowing that I didn't have to worry about cleaning and my home then became a place to enjoy.
Also whilst it's lovely to go away a lot if it's adding to your stress could you not cut down on that a bit ,at least until you get yourself straightened out a bit.It's no good going away if you're worried about what you're leaving behind.
Then you must prioritise your work.Write lists so you know what need to be done immediately and in what order it needs to be done.
I didn't work from home so didn't face the temptation to keep putting things off but I think you need to have a strict working routine and stick to it in the way you would have to if you were going out to work.Only let emergencies interfere with it .Coming on the internet should only be done in the times you have designated non work times.And then you can enjoy it.
No easy answers and you will need lots of self discipline but I sure you can do it.You will feel so much better back in control of your life.
Good luck
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ChristinaB
member
Reged: 28/06/2006
Posts: 419
Loc: Somerset
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Hi Holly,
if you're getting really stressed then something has to give or you'll make yourself ill.
In your situation I'd take some time out to ask myself a number of questions... Have you taken too much on? Have your businesses grown beyond what you can run without assistance? Can you organise the way you run the businesses more efficiently?
You need to ask yourself what your priorities are (perhaps write them down in order of importance) and decide what you can cut back on and where you can get assistance.
You mention you're away a lot of weekends, if this isn't essential could you cut back on the number of weekends away to allow you time to catch on non-work related tasks? I'd guess that most of us who work outside the home full time spend a fair amount of the weekend on housework - it's the only way we have the time.
I used to work from home on occasion and found it helped to structure my day as if I was in the office (otherwise I'd get distracted very easily and find I'd done the housework but not the office work). I found being very strict with myself over breaks etc worked for me - 9 to 5 with two ten minute tea breaks and half an hour for lunch. Housework etc had to happen outside of office hours and I'd have a list on my desk for all those things I remembered during the day that needed dealing with but weren't work related. That way home and work were kept separate.
Hope this helps
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Jane2008
member
Reged: 08/01/2008
Posts: 1516
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Hi Holly, not much to add, only to say that a little bit of light relief goes a long way in motivating us to do things. A good night out and a laugh with our friends, can probably spur us on for weeks.
Sitting in front of the computer all day always makes me feel miserable. A brisk walk in the sunshine with my dogs - and I'm suddenly feeling much better!!
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tigertog
member
Reged: 24/01/2008
Posts: 389
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You sound like you are packing a lot in! How do you manage it!
I am a list person and if I was that busy I would have a cleaner and eat out more!
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hollyUK
member
Reged: 06/08/2007
Posts: 323
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Thanks for all the tps - keep them coming! I'm sure others are benefiting as well.
I do have a cleaner, but as we all know there is always plenty more to to - cooking, shopping and so on.
On the shopping front I tned to swing for and against internet shopping. I like to choose my own fruit and veg, and to buy extra when things are on offer and I hate substitutions as they usually are not what we would choose - however I am wondering if I am just being too fussy. Also when I have done an internet shop I found it took me longer than going to the shops! Is there a secret I'm missing here?
I do need to list (I've done a mind map with most of my tasks on to make a start). I find with lists that if it isn't in front of me I just forget it - so I wanted something where I could have everything on one page.
I have aging parents who can be demanding also - but that's a whole other story!
I certainly need to limit my online activity - it's just such a nice release!
Thanks for all your tips - I shall review each one and give it a try - and if you think of anything else let me know!
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Caitriona
member
Reged: 01/05/2006
Posts: 5
Loc: Johannesburg, South Africa
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Hello Holly. It seems you have had some good advice already so I'll add what I can. I have a stressful job but allocate "me time" whether that is going out for an hour with my hubby or going dog training with my spaniel on Saturday afternoons. Once a month I go to a Holistic Fayre and just breathe in the ambience or have a massage. All these things help to keep me balanced and in a better frame of mind to face the business day. Re the work side, I remind myself constantly of the things I'm good at and chalk the bad decisions down to learning experiences. I prioritise where I can and use "To Do" lists frequently. I do register where things just are not working out and try to look at them from another angle. Delegation is not my strong point but I'm getting better. It takes investment initially but is worth it in the long run. Just sharing your woes helps a lot. Try to go away less and simply stay at home and "chill out" you need to learn to relax properly to recharge your batteries. Good luck.
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Regards
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skippy
member
Reged: 08/01/2008
Posts: 752
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Hi Holly - i can totally empathise with you - that's exactly how i feel - so much to do yet too tired and stressed to face it. I've started doing lists for work, but i can't be bothered for home - and any way - why is it all down to me? No other ****** offers to help unless they are screamed at! It does get me down though!
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[ima ge][/image]
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Foxie
member
Reged: 09/08/2007
Posts: 2483
Loc: South London
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Hi Holly
If you can possibly afford it get some help in the house and garden. Life is too short to be stressed all the time. Your health is really important and if you carry on like this will be ill! Sorry to be blunt, but sometimes bluntness is the only way to get the message across.
Hi Loopyloo
Is it just your OH or do you have children as well? Everyone living in your house should be helping to running it. If you have children you are giving them good life skills, if it just your OH can you have a chat with him. As a last resort you could say that if you keep being tired all the time, his s** life will suffer big time!!
Lots of luck to you both!
Foxie x.
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Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make all of them yourself. Eleanor Roosevelt
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Cat
member
Reged: 04/03/2006
Posts: 115
Loc: Cheshire
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Hi Holly
Can't help with most of your stuff but have just a few words on the internet shopping stuff.
I HATE food shopping with a passion so recently took the decision to do my shopping online. Like you I like to pick my fruit and veggies myself - very fussy - I now have been online shopping with Sainsbury for over a month and am very happy with it. They have the option to choose substitutions (for every item ordered), I choose no substitutions.
Seriously, the best thing I ever did and it frees up my time no end (and they have 1 hour time slots so you aren't sat in waiting for 2 hours). I then take a half hour to go around the store and pick up my fruit, veggies and anything I may have missed and it's so much less stressfull.
Hope this helps
Edited by Cat (04/05/2008 20:42)
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Treetops
member
Reged: 14/11/2006
Posts: 700
Loc: Fife, Scotland
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Hi Caitriona from distant South Africa! Welcome to the forum! Great to see input from forumers in other countries.
Treetops 
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AlexP
member
Reged: 28/12/2007
Posts: 330
Loc: Southampton
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Hi Catriona - great to read your post. I lived in Johannesburg for 25 years - returning to the UK 11 years ago.
On the subject of stress - I have also begun doing my supermarket shopping over the internet and having it delivered. It really is a huge help - although I still shop for fruit and vegetables and oddments, it is great to have the bulk of it delivered to my door - particularly as I live in a third floor flat! Oh - and lists - I couldn't cope without lists!
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shelly
member
Reged: 28/01/2008
Posts: 13
Loc: Manchester
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Hi Holly as I read your post I was nodding I find myself chasing my tail every day having just completed 4 years of studying and now a qualified nurse bringing up 3 children with my first grandchild arriving in 8 weeks I find I rarely have time for me things.My OH is about as much use as a chocolate teapot he thinks the little fairies do the cleaning, cooking and ironing. I do my food shopping via internet and is delivered which is a godsend. I don't think there is an easy solution just making small changes such as shopping delivered, making list and prioritising what needs to be done now and what can wait
Remember life to short to worry about dusting and the pile of ironing - put your feet up with a box of chocs and watch a chick flick xx
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Chatelaine
member
Reged: 23/08/2007
Posts: 1921
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Holly, you have had some brilliant advise here. I cannot add much to this all, but sometimes I too get too stressed.... I have a dear friend who sometimes drives me up the wall, and he manages to always achieve that just when I have loads on and loads to do. After getting angry, and blowing my top, and sharing my woes with some understanding friends, I find that I must take "ME TIME", and thus I manage to recharge my batteries by locking my front door, and not leaving the house till I am "fully recharged", had a physical, mental and emotional rest, done what I want to do, and pottered around my home and garden at my, at that moment, desired pace. I realise that this probably is an impossibility for many, but thankfully it is possible for me...... And I take advantage of this, and it is my means of self preservation, and getting things back in balance.
We, women, are pretty remarkable creatures, but we cannot do everything!! Sometimes enough is enough!! And we need to rest, and close ourselves off from all the hubbub..... We need "ME TIME".....
Take care of yourself Holly!
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patdock
member
Reged: 01/04/2007
Posts: 52
Loc: South Wales
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HI Holly
I am retired now but I do remember those ' stressful' times. I used to worry about the housework in case people came in and siad - well you cant expect it to be VERY clean, she is at work- so I used to fuss around like mad.
Then I retired and I realised that I had been worrying for nothing. You have to sit back and think of things you can offload. You can't be expected to do it all yourself. When you think about it I am sure you will be surpried that others can do part of your work for you. We are never invaluable.
Then grab your coat and handbag and take a day off. Even with a friend and go out for the day. Mine used to be retail therapy. I felt good after that.
Prioritise, and then dump some of the things you hate doing.
Do let us know how you are getting on.
Good luck
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