Chipmunk
member
Reged: 02/02/2008
Posts: 2144
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Oh For heavens sake what has age got to do with it! People of every age have a contributory factor! Its their loss in my mind they don't know what they are missing.
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Psyche
member
Reged: 23/01/2007
Posts: 2334
Loc: Bicester OXON
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Hi Beachbabe, I've PM'd you.
P x
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Psyche.
another day................another handbag!!!!!!!!
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fillyfod
member
Reged: 28/08/2007
Posts: 30
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I would like to put the cat amongst the pigeons here and tell you why I have previously asked peoples ages.
Personally I have a pretty solitary life and this kind of thing appeals so I can spend time with other people. Ive asked this questions for one reason really and that is I want to tell if I can fit in.
Its the same reason that I like to spend time around people who are in relationships, I feel we are in the same situation and can empathise. Im not married and I dont have kids and often ive spent time around my sister in laws friends with baby talk and things that I cant 100% relate to. For me being left out is a huge self confidence kick in the teeth and I just want to feel I can fit in. Someones age doesnt matter in itself, my mum is very young for her age at 63 but it does give some indication of whether you have the same things in common. I am certainly not ageist and I hope nobody takes this the wrong way.
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Jae
member
Reged: 21/04/2006
Posts: 691
Loc: Scotland
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Hi Fillyfod,
I can understand what you mean as I often feel as if I don't fit in. It is very difficult if you are shy and not very confident just to join in. I always feel that the minute I contribute to a conversation it seems to come to a dead halt. People who have plenty of self-confidence can never understand how it feels not to have any. Luckily I am managing to overcome this by 'pretending' I am full of confidence. I pick a person who I think appears confident in any given situation, then make myself act in the way I think she would. I still don't feel any more confident but it seems I appear more confident, and this seems to change the way people react. Daft I know, but it works. When I confess to people the way I really feel they are always really surprised.
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Jae
(You can only reach for the future by letting go of the past)
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Psyche
member
Reged: 23/01/2007
Posts: 2334
Loc: Bicester OXON
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Hi fillyfod, I've calmed down a bit now - must be because I'm going on holiday tomorrow.
For clarification people who come to the Oxford group range in age from 30 upwards. Various professions or none, and the complete mix of single, married, divorced. Some with young children, some with older, some without.
As for confidence I think it just comes with age, I was quite shy up to my 30s,I'm OK in most situations now but there will always be something that throws you. No-one is self confident in every situation all the time.
Next meeting is on 6th June in Bicester (Turkish) but the notice won't be out for a week or so.
Would be nice to see you.
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Psyche.
another day................another handbag!!!!!!!!
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fillyfod
member
Reged: 28/08/2007
Posts: 30
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Im glad I wasnt shot down in flames for my comment and thank you for the kind words. I probably dont seem like an unconfident person when people meet me but I joined a new job last year and ive learned that certain groups are not my cup of tea. I used to think I could mix with anyone but here peoples outlook is very different to mine and ive become quite withdrawn. I find I dont want to divulge things about myself to then be judged. Fortunately I work with other offices a lot and they keep me sane and give me a well deserved laugh!
I would love to come to one of your meeting, you sound like lovely ladies, but im actually down in Kent. I was being nosey participating in your debate ;-)
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