(member)

14/05/2008 22:41

high blood pressure

Hi girls,
I know you have all helped me in the past and wonder if I could ask your advice again?

I have been off work this week, I went in on Monday and started having terrible pains and was sent home. Went to the doc who said I had an urine infection and gave me antibiotics. I phoned work 3 times to speak to my boss and couldn't get hold of her. On Tuesday I was called over to the care home my aunt is in as she was very poorly and they didnt expect her to survive the day. My mum is her sister and is 76 and couldn't go on her own. I spent all day at her bed side feeling terrible and had five calls from work asking where this paper was or that one. I was furious!! I am never off work but this attitude has knocked me for six,
My boss said she needed me and I picked a fine time to choose to be off.

Anyway , I was recently diagnosed with stage 3 Cronic kidney disease and was told to get my BP done on a regular basis. I bought one of those BP kits and take it at home. It is currently 156/105.

I think this is high,my aunt died this evening and it is up to me to arrange things... I cant face going into work next week as I need to arrange things, the funeral will be next week and I also have a couple of scans at the hospital.

A few of you will know that I have twin boys and it is their first communion on Sunday - I have 43 people coming. The boys have their birthday the following week and I have a perty to organise.
I feel shaky inside and tearful...i dont know what to do. Should I go beck to work on Monday or leave it until i feel better. Ihave not lnog started the job and I am scared they will let me go....

Any advice will be appreciated.

Sorry it is so long winded....hope it makes sense...not much else does just now.
Thanks
Love C xx

(member)

14/05/2008 22:50

Re: high blood pressure

Officegirl, so sorry to hear about your aunt! You've been really kind to both her and your mother, you have an awful lot on your plate so its no wonder your BP is high especially tonight.
You need to take care of Yourself. That is your absolute number one priority. Your boss should know that, although she may not have known how much you had today when phoning. Take the time off, and go back when you yourself feel better.
If I were you, and I have high BP too, I'd take next week off. Your doctor will surely give you a medical certificate if you need it.
Take care of yourself. You and your family deserve it.
Hugs,

(member)

14/05/2008 22:56

Re: high blood pressure

Thanks Pinkannie,

I think i will go back to the doc tomorrow and explain everything to him.

Just feeling numb just now.

thanks for your message
C x

(member)

14/05/2008 23:00

Re: high blood pressure

You've had a shock - no wonder you're feeling numb. Thinking of you and take care. What a day.
Hugs again
S.xxx

(member)

14/05/2008 23:14

Re: high blood pressure

officegirl, please see doctor tomorrow, explain situation and get a certificate for at least 2 weeks. send in to boss and ask that she refer to occupational health. If she is reluctant to do this, see if you can refer yourself, or speak to human resources. Your boss should not harrass you as it is aginst the law, she is out of order. Take care of yourself, that is the priority at the moment. lots of hugs. elaine x

(member)

14/05/2008 23:15

Re: high blood pressure

Officegirl, what an absolutely thoughtless and insensitive person your boss is. Your main priority now is your own health, work and everything else is secondary.

You have had a terrible time, and it must be such a worry for you, we all worry about our health we would be very strange if we didnt. Im sure once you have had all the medical attention etc you will start to feel a little better, try not to worry, we are always here for a chat. Go and see your doctor, and dont go back to work on Monday until you are happy and fit enough to do so. I shall be thinking of you. Plasmo xx

(member)

14/05/2008 23:39

Re: high blood pressure

Officegirl, I am shocked by the attitude of your boss given you have had two major personal issues to deal with. The most important thing you must do is focus on your own health and get well; your mum will need your love and support and you need to be able to grieve.
I personally have a tendency to focus on work and its importance, but the reality is that is only a job which is an enabler for the rest of your life; the most important things are your own personal health and happiness and the people you love.
See your doctor asap and get a certificate; you shouldn't have to do this but if your employers are not behaving decently then you must.
Take care of yourself. Will be thinking of you at such a difficult time x

(member)

15/05/2008 06:59

Re: high blood pressure

Yes, we are all thinking of you at such a difficult time and no wonder your blood pressure is high, you are under a lot of stress. It makes me so cross when bosses take this attitude and don't realise a happy worker is a premium worker. You must go back to the doctors and stay away from the J-O-B!! I learnt a long time ago, it is YOU and your health who are the most important.

Please look after yourself and try not to worry whatever your boss is thinking. Give yourself time to grieve. Your doctor I am sure will back you up on this and give you the time you need to sort things out and get back on to an even keel. Meanwhile go above your boss and speak to Human Resources who I am sure will be far more understanding.

(member)

15/05/2008 08:24

Re: high blood pressure

Hi Officegirl. Just to echo all thats been said above. Go straight round to your doctors today and get him to sign you off. I remember when I lost my mum, very sudden and very tragic. I phoned my boss for whom I had worked 7 or 8 years, and told him what had happened. All he said was "are you going to take sick leave or holiday leave"! I was so incensed (a couple of days off whilst I buried my mother should have been offered without worrying whether he would have to pay me or not). I went to my doctor, he wrote me of for four weeks! I took great delight in sending that particular Docs certificate into work although I did return after two weeks.

Good luck, take a deep breath, deal with ONE thing at a time and dont try to be superwoman.

Vicks
xx

(member)

15/05/2008 08:39

Re: high blood pressure

Just repeating what everyone else has said , goto the doctor get a cert for at least two weeks you need that time to look after your self and your Mam ,condolences on the death of your Aunt. try to enjoy the boys communion and their birthdays I am sure it will help your Mam too.

(member)

15/05/2008 09:49

Re: high blood pressure

I feel so sad for you, and sadly this is almost typical of managements treatment of employees these days, you need time off so take it and don't feel guilty , your family are more important. Thinking of you.

(member)

15/05/2008 11:10

Re: high blood pressure

I am so sorry...NO you most definately dont go back to work...It is against the law for work to contact you if you have been signed off by your GP...what you must do...is go back to your Gp and get signed off for a month...you have been through a terrible time and oyur health is obviously suffering hence your Bp....Time to put yourself 1st..Im sorry but your boss will have to cope!!...

We all feel guilty for taking time off...but at times it is most necessary....You will end up in hospital if you dont slow down..then you will be no good to anyone??...Pick up the phone and ring now..tell your Gp you cant cope and she will put anxiety/depresion or something on your sick note....(You need a month off)....covers a multitude of issues..and you dont have to ring work personally get OH or friend to do it..

Good luck...and think of yourself for once....x

(member)

15/05/2008 11:10

Re: high blood pressure

What a horrible time you are having. Of course you feel shaky - you aren't well, which is a worry in itself, and now you are grieving. Your boss is being totally unreasonable and bullying. I was a boss for over 20 years and, while nowhere near perfect, I never complained about staff being ill or having to deal with family crises. Do as everyone else says - see your GP, tell him/her how low you feel and that you need some time off. (I am sure you would be entitled to compassionate leave anyway but that would just be a few days when really you are ill and need to take care of yourself.)

As far as the family parties are concerned - seek help from relatives, neighbours and friends and either get them all to bring a dish or just buy loads of frozen party food (Sainsbury's and Iceland both do 3 for �5) and things which only have to be opened rather than prepared from scratch.

Thinking of you.

(member)

15/05/2008 11:56

Re: high blood pressure

See your GP as soon as possible. If you're ill for 7 days (I think that includes non-working days) you need a certificate anyway. Most employers give time off for bereavement but only for immediate family, not aunts, uncles, grandparents etc. Don't take your boss's attitude to heart - if she's been ok before it probably means she's extremely stressed because one of her key staff (you) is off and also very worried because you've got an infection on top of your kidney disease.

My boss let me have the day my mum died off and I had to have holiday for the funeral (my previous employers would have sent me home for 2 weeks on full pay). Don't automatically ask your doctor for a month off, see what he thinks. I only get one month sick leave on full pay so unless you're on limitless fully paid sick leave try for a week and then go back if you're still not up to scratch.

Assuming you can't cancel or postpone the parties can you reduce the number of people you're entertaining? I'm sure they'd understand once they know the circumstances, or if not you must ask them to help out with catering and clearing up. The most important thing is to try to reduce your blood pressure - your reading is high (but home kits aren't always totally accurate and you must remember to sit still for a while before using them, not test too soon after food etc - the instructions are usually in the kit). I use a home kit to keep a check on my high blood pressure and know that if I test twice in an hour I can get vastly different readings.

(member)

15/05/2008 15:26

Re: high blood pressure

You really do need to take time off work and don't feel guilty. Sorry to be a scaremonger but 18 months ago I was waiting to see a kidney specialist. My BP was 175/105.I'd put it down to a house move, new job, parents in law both being terminally ill, and feeling very stressed. After a lot of tests I was diagnosed with stage 4 chronic kidney disease caused by my high BP. Some people can have high BP and no damage, others can have only slightly high Bp and cause damage to their kidneys. The kidney disease also causes high BP, so a vicious circle! Now I take Amlodipine and Atenalol daily to keep my BP down and prevent any more damage. You need to insist on getting to the bottom of this, because if caught now you can prevent more damage. Your health is more important than any job.

(member)

15/05/2008 16:55

Re: high blood pressure

I'd also add that your health is more important than any party. If you don't feel up to it just cancel. Your children may be disappointed (you could do something special as a family that won't be as stressful) but it's far more important for them to have their mum fit and well for the future.

(member)

16/05/2008 14:04

Re: high blood pressure

High Blood Pressure is a nasty silent problem. Go and see your doctor. I am sure he/she will recommend you to stay at home.
Ring your office and make it quite clear that you have enough to do - you do not want to be telephoned about work.

(member)

17/05/2008 13:48

Re: high blood pressure

Duffy, is it really against the law to be contacted when you are off sick with a GP note?

My workplace do home visits too, never had one but what legal right do they have to come to your home when you are ill?

(member)

18/05/2008 03:22

Re: high blood pressure

Hi officegirl

Just a few thoughts from the other side of the fence.........

Could you have left a message for your boss? Just to say that you wouldn't be in and had sent an email to explain? I am a manager and if one of my team hadn't come into work for two days and had not contacted work either I would be ringing them. Not just to say where are you, but out of concern too.

Your health is number one priority, so please go to your doctor. Downscale the 1st communion party or ask another member of your family to host it. Postpone your sons' birthday party. Have a special family meal and cake on the day and have a party in a couple of weeks time when you are feeling better.

This may sound harsh, but if you don't look after yourself you won't be able to look after anyone else. Stop trying to be superwoman and accept some help. You have a lot to contend with at present so just do what you can reasonably cope with. I hope you are soon feeling better, having all these extra things to cope with doesn't help.

I have just reread my post and I hope it doesn't sound too bossy!! but it is genuinely meant as advice to you.
Foxie x.

(member)

24/05/2008 22:45

Re: high blood pressure

I wish I'd seen this earlier.

Your BP reading is high and it needs to come down. You must see your GP and get it checked properly. My high BP was discovered quite by accident when I had a routine check by the nurse at work - it was 170/120 (quite dangerously high). When I went to the doc, he loaned me a portable machine and I had to take readings several times a day so that they could monitor the pattern of highs and lows. Eventually, after trying all the 'lifestyle' methods of lowering my BP (diet, exercise etc.) I had to go on medication but it's no big deal, just one pill in the morning (very low dose). My BP is normal and steady now. Raised BP is a silent killer - there are no obvious symptoms, but it puts strain on your heart and kidneys and can result in stroke, heart attack, kidney failure if left untreated.

Your employers have no right to put this pressure on you. Nobody is indispensible, everybody needs to take time out for family crises, anyone can become ill and if you are ill you have the right to be left in peace until you recover. Remarks like "this is a fine time to choose to be off" are nothing less than bullying and that is illegal.

If you need some factual (as well as moral) support, take a look at the Health & Safety Executive's pages on Workplace Stress (especially guidance for individuals and the bits about sickness absence). You have rights and your employers have responsibilities. Don't let your boss get away with this - look after yourself. However much they pay you it's not enough to risk your health.

http://www.hse.gov.uk/stress/

Hope you've seen your GP by now and are feeling better. If you're prescribed medication for your BP, don't worry about it (as I did). My friend who is a hospital consultant explained the risks of not treating high BP and made me see sense. And my OH drummed it into me that my health was much more important than the flamin' job!

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