Over the past few weeks OH and I have done a lot of talking and I'm now certain nothing untoward was ever happening with the woman he works with. He's said he didn't tell me the whole story before because he thought it was something he could deal with on his own but now knows it's not (being a man it didn't occur to him that only telling me half a story was worse than none at all!) and needs advice hence I'm calling on all my forum friends (again - sorry ladies).

The woman concerned is recently divorced from a marriage that was by all accounts dead from her point of view for some years, financial settlement still to be decided by courts and her ex still resident because she won't agree to selling the house and splitting the procedes (children are over compulsory school age). My OH believes she has a drink problem, he knows for certain she's been driving over the limit on more than one occasion and is drinking far more than the one or two glasses she says - lips stained with red wine, not remembering conversations or even that he visited the next day etc but no hangover. Recently after drinking she was arrested for criminal damange against her ex's new OH's property (struggled and fought against the police and spent a night in a cell). She goes to magistrates court for the criminal damage case next week and doesn't want to contact her solicitor for legal advice. OH says she ought to at least tell her solicitor in case her ex uses it in the financial hearing but she refuses. She also has growing debts. On top of this she is missing work because she can't face going in (if she doesn't work she doesn't get paid).

OH has been trying to talk sense but is exasperated (he told her at the weekend that if she was one of his male friends he'd most likely have thumped her for her behaviour by now and that's most unlike him). He even contacted AA for advice this week but of course they can't really offer any help unless she goes to them (she says several relatives have drink problems so there's alchoholism in the family already).

My OH's frightened to cut off all contact (although very tempted) because he thinks she may be suicidal, certainly very depresssed and on anti-depressants. He thinks that she's going down one of three routes - suicide, driving ban (or prison if she drives into someone while drunk) or ending up living in a cardboard box! If he gets through a couple of days without a hysterical phone call it's unusual.

I think he's been a prize p**t to let himself get relied on so much for emotional support but can understand why he did.

So here's the question... Does anyone know who he can refer to for free advice or have any ideas of how to make her realise what she's doing to herself and her family please?

Many thanks,
C