(member)

29/08/2008 20:40

Are you happy in your marriage?

Are you happy in your marriage or do you just stay out of habit or the lack of courage to get out of it?

(member)

29/08/2008 20:48

Re: Are you happy in your marriage?

I'm not married but if I got the stage where I was unhappy with my OH, or he with me, I hope I'd have the courage to go.

I think many people stay together but wish they could part. It must be very hard, especially if you have children to consider. I don't know what I'd do in those circumstances.

(member)

29/08/2008 20:53

Re: Are you happy in your marriage?

We've had some ups and downs (none becos of other woman or men for that matter), but on the whole I have had a great marriage, he still makes me laugh, and for 61 he's not bad!
He keeps fit and is still slim, which is more than can be said for me!!
He's kept me in the manner to which I became accustomed, and the drinks cabinet is always full, what more can a woman ask?

(member)

29/08/2008 21:02

Re: Are you happy in your marriage?

I often used to ask myself this question then my OH had very unexpected heart attack (luckily he is now ok) and it answered my question I was devastated I think we can all take people and things for granted and forget how great they are and then something reminds us so the answers is YES I am very happy and I hope I never take it for granted again

(member)

29/08/2008 21:27

Re: Are you happy in your marriage?

Thought I was!! Stayed married for 28 yrs then alone came someone else who made me realise I really wasn't !! So I left!(Actually it's not as easy as it sounds but this forum isn't long enough to go into it all) so Happily with new man. LOL

(member)

29/08/2008 21:30

Re: Are you happy in your marriage?

Why just habit and lack of courage as reasons for staying in an unhappy marriage Kate? There must be lots of reasons that people stay together - maybe they are not unhappy all the time, maybe they have families to consider where splitting up would be too awful, maybe they hope for change in the future. Just a few thoughts to put out there.

(member)

29/08/2008 21:31

Re: Are you happy in your marriage?

Blissfully so in second marriage! my husband is my lover and my best friend, what more can a girl ask?
Rotschopf

(member)

29/08/2008 21:32

Re: Are you happy in your marriage?

I am really happy in my marriage, been together 12 years and he is my soul mate!

(member)

29/08/2008 21:35

Re: Are you happy in your marriage?

Good answer Kate55.

After our troubled times of a few years ago, I think our marriage is stronger, even tho it was really tough, and I felt like packing my bags at times. We both got thru it and now we have a really good relationship.
He does his thing and I do mine!!
No only kidding.

(member)

29/08/2008 22:24

Re: Are you happy in your marriage?

very happy, just celebrated 25 years together.

(member)

29/08/2008 22:44

Re: Are you happy in your marriage?

2nd marriage, married for 5 years been together nearly 7, very happy, hes my best friend, makes me laugh, makes me feel secure and wanted and is great with my children, so a very big YESSSSSSSS is my answer

Cherryblossom

(member)

29/08/2008 22:52

Re: Are you happy in your marriage?

Uneventful as my life has been but with one marriage lasting only three years,then 1 jilt,(not by me),followed by another encounter who wanted to get engaged to me, but,unknown to me, seeing and (how green was I!)living with somebody else,then finally a disastrous marriage resulting in a 2nd divorce!!!!

Please forgive me for being hesitant in wanting to be with anybody ever again,let alone get married.

But, I AM!! and I love him to pieces.

It took OH eight years to persuade me and this year we will have been married for ten years.

Poor OH had to go through a couple of years of me self-doubting that the marriage would last,but it has,and I love him so much I could burst.

I mean,how could you not love somebody who insists that you have breakfast in bed,and goes up the garden every morning espeicially to pick fresh raspberries to go on my Weetabix.

Definitely 3rd time lucky.

Annemari

(member)

30/08/2008 07:55

Re: Are you happy in your marriage?

To be honest i don't know. I have been married for 34 years and sometimes there have been very dark moments but i get to live in a place i adore i am surrounded by people who i like and work with animals. I have to confess OH is only part of the package he has been away for 3 weeks and we have spoken about 4 times briefly, when he gets back next week we will slip back into the usual routine well worn slippers.
Stella

chris_in_france

(member)

30/08/2008 09:13

Re: Are you happy in your marriage?

I am like stellac at times I am not sure , we have been together through a seriously ill child when I got cancer and various other tribulations but at times he drives me completely up the wall and I think I cant stand this anymore . I think our biggest problem is that we spend too much time together , because we are both retired in our 50s we seem to get in each others way a lot of the time . But anyway life is not perfect and when we are getting on well we have a laugh .

(member)

30/08/2008 09:44

Re: Are you happy in your marriage?

Hi Kate1,

Yes, I am happy in my marriage. MOH is the total opposite to me, I am extrovert, and he is really introvert, but after 43 years together we seem to know what button to press, and keep each other content. We have had our problems but they have never festered, and really werent that serious.

MOH is always content, he loves his home, is happy with his family (meaning MS and I) enjoys his wine, loves good food, can be a little complacent at times which makes me cross, but we get on really well together, and love each other.

Someone asked me the other day in the hairdressers, if you could live your life over again, would you still marry the same person - and my answer was a loud, definite- YES.

Plasmo x

(member)

30/08/2008 10:19

Re: Are you happy in your marriage?

Yep, very happy. I waited a long time alone before he came along so I've have experience of an unhappy marriage (sheer misery) and 20 years living alone. For the first time in my life I have unconditional love and financial and emotional security - all thanks to this lovely man. I wish I was a better partner to him though...I have my gremlins which he dismisses as nothing much. Bless him!

(member)

30/08/2008 11:07

Re: Are you happy in your marriage?

After 30 years of Marriage I would'nt change a thing like any marriage we have our ups and downs but he's a brilliant dad and he makes me feel safe and secure and loves me for what I am.
My brother's wife left and took their 4 year old son with her she went to live in Australia he'd say life's a bitch then you die. However he did re marry but would'nt have anymore children.

(member)

30/08/2008 11:23

Re: Are you happy in your marriage?

Normally, I would say "yes" but feeling a bit fed up today as I went to meet my FF room-mate at Bluewater yesterday, skipped my favourite sport (window shopping) so that I could buy something to cook for dinner and get back in time to prepare it.

Got stuck on the motorway for 2 and half hours, got back at 9.20 pm. Did anyone ring to see if I was OK? Did anyone think to make the bed up with the clean sheets that were ready to put on? Did anyone think I might be hungry when I got in? No, all H had to say was "Don't worry about dinner, Son got himself a takeaway and I'm not hungry" his idea of thoughtfulness!

Still sore about it this morning, but H can't see the problem. Grrrrr!

(member)

30/08/2008 11:30

Re: Are you happy in your marriage?

Had this question been asked of me 5 years ago I would have put a resounding NO

However, one never knows what lies around the corner.

After having a rather difficult 20 or so years with himself basically due to pressures of life, bad luck etc
I feel very ill in March of this year ... and the marriage has taken a turnround. He lost his job I became housebound various tragedies happened ... and suddenly I look around and there he is my support network, cooking for me, getting me little treats taking me out for little drives a wall I can lean on, that doesnt fall over

so yes I am happy in my marrige because there are bad and good times and we appear to be getting through it!

(member)

30/08/2008 12:51

Re: Are you happy in your marriage?

A resounding yes from me. We met through Dateline 17 years ago after each had disatrous relationships and were persuaded to join by friends. Although sceptical it worked for us. We're soulmates and have 2 brilliant boys. We have our spats though and at times it's tough going but once we rekindle the magic it's great. My only wish would be more time together alone to recharge the batteries and discover each other again without the stresses of home, kids, taxing etc> Does that sound selfish?

(member)

30/08/2008 13:45

Re: Are you happy in your marriage?

Onceshy,I did Dateline 34 years ago and met some interesting people.In those days I think it was 6 names for �10.I lived with someone for 5 years but it was symbiosis ie he wanted to buy a house and I needed to change direction jobwise.Knew I wouldn't marry him.
Hope you get some more quality time soon. merc.x

(member)

30/08/2008 14:11

Re: Are you happy in your marriage?

A big fat YES from me!

I dare say it's not perfect by my OH is the most loving, caring, supportive and funny man I've ever met. We met 22 years ago yesterday and I can't believe how it still feels like yesterday! He makes laugh - he also infuriates me

- he looks after me and loves me as I am.

I've just come home from a camping holiday in Wales leaving OH and son there (I'm on a girls night out tonight) - OH and I were both really sad on parting at the station this morning! I wouldn't mind but they'll be home tomorrow night

(member)

30/08/2008 17:13

Re: Are you happy in your marriage?

Yes from me. We've been together since I was 16. He's not perfect, but neither am I and I think we both realise this.

(member)

30/08/2008 17:32

Re: Are you happy in your marriage?

a Big oui oui for me we have been married 35 years and he is still the Sexy Frenchman I met when i was 21 ,we have had our ups and downs our laughing and crying we are complete opposites but we complement each other , and every day he tells me how much he loves me, off to give him a little kiss

(member)

30/08/2008 19:56

Re: Are you happy in your marriage?

Onceshy, we met through Dateline too and he's my soulmate also ...now that's two things I've admitted to today!

(member)

30/08/2008 20:20

Re: Are you happy in your marriage?

sorry to say no just going through divorce but hope one day I will find a soul mate have been married for 32 years and its no good been together when he really wants to be with someone else
Pipppawood

(member)

30/08/2008 20:50

Re: Are you happy in your marriage?

Blissfully happy. We get on very well, he's my best friend. We don't always agree. Tonight he's watching football in one room, I'm in another watching an old Morse. But only because we don't expect the other to give in to our choice. Tomorrow we'll be together watching the same programme, sharing the same crossword. Or maybe not, but it doesn't matter.

Now my ex-OH - we were the perfect couple. Nice house, lovely manicured garden, cute matching cars, beautiful well-behaved children, holiday abroad each year - but it was all Stepford Wives. I was only happy because I was too scared to upset the happy home.

Now, well if OH nad I argue, we argue. Doesn't mean I don't love him, it just means I'm not scared any more.

Happiness doesn't mean hearts and roses and sweetness and light and all Barbara Cartland. It's just being comfortable in a relationship, best friends. I can tell him if he's being an idiot, and he might sulk for a bit, but that's all. And he can tell me I'm I'm a neurotic shrew, and I'll throw a tantrum, but then deep down I know he's right.

I've told him I'm only with him till George Clooney comes along. He says if he could find George's phone number, he would call him and tell him

..wispa

(member)

30/08/2008 22:41

Re: Are you happy in your marriage?

I thought i was, that was until begining of this year, we had been married 27yrs, and he walks out on me, leaves me for a younger model, was i expecting it NO, luckly i have no young children at home,they live close by,and they have been fantastic, they have been there for me,slowly i am getting my life back on track, no dates yet not interested

(member)

31/08/2008 12:33

Re: Are you happy in your marriage?

Good idea for a post, plasmo!

(member)

31/08/2008 13:25

Re: Are you happy in your marriage?

Most of the time I'm happy in my marriage, but sometimes I can't bear the sight of him!

(member)

31/08/2008 15:09

Re: Are you happy in your marriage?

I have been married for 37 years, I started going out with my husband when I was 15 and he was 17, I was 18 when i married and I can truly say we still adore each other, we flirt with, laugh with and love each other. Even so marriage is hard work and there were times over the years when I wondered if there was another life out there, so all I can say if we did not have that basic deep and abiding love to start with it would not have worked. We both lost our parents when we were very young and this taught us never to take the other person for granted and maybe to forgive the petty irritations far easier than people who have no idea what it is like to lose someone they love without warning.

Basically, life really is too short but life is also full of the mundane as well as exciting bits, give yourself a year and if you still feel the same way consider a new life.

(member)

31/08/2008 18:28

Re: Are you happy in your marriage?

Glad to say that I have reversed my earlier answer now and I have to say "yes"! I was having a bad day but I felt sorry for him in the end - I could tell he hadn't a clue what he'd done wrong so I've let him out of the dog house. For now.....!

(member)

31/08/2008 18:46

Re: Are you happy in your marriage?

Yes. 28 years in October. We've had many ups and downs but that's life.
I'm just so glad we've stuck together.

Here's to another 28 years!!!!!!!!!!

(member)

31/08/2008 20:30

Re: Are you happy in your marriage?

Yes, essentially. There are times when he infuriates me - if there's something bothering him he just goes silent (and nothing I can do will be right - he reverts to a 5 year old sulk, we had one of those yesterday) but eventually he'll tell me what the problem is and we'll be back to normal again. I'm the opposite, if something's worrying me I dive into nervous chatter which drives him mad. Far more good times than bad and in 15 years together I don't think we've ever disagreed on anything important.

(member)

01/09/2008 13:57

Re: Are you happy in your marriage?

Yes, definitely! And I spent 10 years in a disastrous relationship, so I have something to compare it with!

(member)

01/09/2008 16:10

Re: Are you happy in your marriage?

Having waited 25 years for him, I'm glad to say YES!!

We've been married for 3 years tomorrow (so 28 years since our first date!) and, although we have our "moments" sometimes

, I always knew we would be good together

(member)

06/09/2008 15:37

Re: Are you happy in your marriage?

I was in my first marriage for 15 years did not know how unhappy I was until I met my OH on a chance meeting, I left my x was not proud of myself but have no regrets,It was not easy to leave everything but I would do it all over again to be with OH he is also my sole mate, best friend,lover and he also fills the drinks cabinet up. He gives me strength and when I was very ill last year he was a fantastic nurse.I am the lucky one xx

(member)

06/09/2008 22:08

Re: Are you happy in your marriage?

Yes, after 16 years of marriage we are still happy, but are recipe is that we dont live in each others pockets.

We have our moments but thats life..but wouldnt be without him (or the kids)

(member)

07/09/2008 08:18

Re: Are you happy in your marriage?

YES...Like ALL of you we have had our ups and downs...ChrissiFi my DD goes into a sulk also like your beloved...couldn't you just kill them when they do that..!!

...And I can go off on a tangent...but he is my harbour....when all is not going to 'plan' he will take me in his arms and tell me it WILL be alright...

Like you have all said marriages have there ups and there downs...not helped by out side pressures....I'm sure NO ONE works away unless there is no other way....Its not easy..

(member)

08/09/2008 03:21

Re: Are you happy in your marriage?

Yes, I'm very happy with my H. We've just had our 17th wedding anniversary and I could never imagine being with anyone else. It's my second marriage and it was worth waiting for.

(member)

11/09/2008 19:18

Re: Are you happy in your marriage?

I'm not married, but in a long-term relationship - if you know me, you know the answer to this question!!! But hats off to those who have a loving marriage - I truly envy you.

Much love

BC40

xxx

(member)

12/09/2008 12:01

Re: Are you happy in your marriage?

What is happy

(member)

14/09/2008 14:44

Re: Are you happy in your marriage?

I am very happy I love him to bits. I can't imagine life without him. We seem to have settled into marriage nicely.

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