(member)

30/07/2008 12:06

Feeling sad for OH

Its my OH birthday today, so far the only people that have acknowledge it is myself with small pressy and card, my neighbour with some socks, a cricketing friend, and my daughter(just an ordinary card) no phone call, nothing from his daughter (from previous marriage), nothing from our son who lives at home and overslept so if he's brought a card he won't get it untill this evening.
Underneath all of this I want to say that they are so far up their own backsides,it seem they are never too busy when they want something off of him, help, money, guidance. It seems now that our daughter only phones when she wants something, ie When her phone crashed and she lost all of her numbers. When she needed to know where she was born so she could fill in a form for an alchahole licence. I'm really fed up with the attitude they take with him and can see the balloon going up soon and I will speak my mind. You may say that he doesn't mind but I can see they way he was when the post came that there was nothing for him. The card from our daughter was sent nearly a week ago
Rant over,just feel that I dont want to acknowledge theirs, they will soon whinge if theres not a cheque with the card!!!

(member)

30/07/2008 12:18

Re: Feeling sad for OH

I send out reminders to my brothers, so they will remember peoples birthdays. Just a little email. Then they can buy a card or not as they want to. If they find my emails annoying so be it, but at least they know about the birthday or anniversary.

Loo

(member)

30/07/2008 12:29

Re: Feeling sad for OH

Thanks Loo, have sent reminders to off spring hence our daughters card came about a week ago. The poor soles at the dentist at the moment had an 11:30 appointment should have been home half an hour ago. Some birthday!!

(member)

30/07/2008 13:14

Re: Feeling sad for OH

It's a perfect day to let fly a balloon. Don't let things fester any longer. And take him out for a treat tonight, or kick out the son and do the whole candles and romance routine.

(member)

30/07/2008 13:22

Re: Feeling sad for OH

I think I would treat them the same way, just tell them that you thought that birthdays were being ignored now. Might give them the jolt they need.

wish him a happy birthday from me

(member)

30/07/2008 17:11

Re: Feeling sad for OH

Jessica you are not the only one!!!This happens in our house too and not just to OH but Ive been on the recieving end(or not)as well.My two have been properly brought re manners and remembering birthdays etc.ES now has wife who kick starts him into gear-but things are always late.YS at uni-the week before OHs birthday rang him twice to remind him...boring impersonal card arrived on the day yes but that was it.OH so good natured with lifts, paying for stuff,problem solving, it makes me seethe.In the past when Ive tactfully mentioned it Ive had :"Im so busy"(not for things that involve them mind)or;"I was going to do it but.....(fill in any number of excuses,")So the balloon has gone up and I have told them that as birthdays are not important to them, on their next one They will be getting a card only.Oh and not to bother coming up with pre birthday ideas as we wont be bothering.

(member)

30/07/2008 18:53

Re: Feeling sad for OH

Hi Jessica

I know it will be hard, but if this is a regular occurence, then you might have to do it to your children. Years ago my brother frequently forgot my parents birthdays, so one year my mum didn't send him a card or anything - he's never done it since! We've also had the same thing with my MIL, she would send my OH a card, never sent me one and would frequently forget the childrens birthday. Last year my OH refused to send her a mothers day card or birthday card and guess what - we've all had cards this year, first one ever for me! It won't be easy for either you or your OH to do it, but then they will know what it's like not to receive a card or phone call from those they love.

Deborah

(member)

02/08/2008 07:31

Re: Feeling sad for OH

I have to remind my 2 every year. YS is just half an hour away but he is the worst of the lot for remembering! OS only remembers because he now has a girlfriend, who remembers! I don't mind though because I know, if the chips were down and if asked, they would come running with support. Speaking personally, birthdays are just once a year. I neither need or want to be reminded of them.

(member)

02/08/2008 11:08

Re: Feeling sad for OH

You're only a stripling Susieblue!!!!
Cheshirelass

(member)

02/08/2008 17:59

Re: Feeling sad for OH

Thanks folks,
Did end up putting S&Din there place and said that they seem to be so far up their own backsides I'm suprised they could see daylight. He doesn't need gifts just a reconition for the things he does for them. Anyway after the dressing down they apologised, but I'm not going out of my way for them, perhaps their birthdays in Oct & Nov will be overlooked and they will know how it hurts.

(member)

02/08/2008 19:58

Re: Feeling sad for OH

Jessica

So sad to her about this. My daughter (21) and I are the opposite to your family -we are completely OTT. Son is 17 - 'nough said! still going through that dark tunnel.

I agree with Patsy - maybe a bit of tough love on their birhdays.. most people ar happy with a small acknowledgement of some sort - not a world cruise or any thing!!!

Our families are very small so we make a fuss of each other.

Hope you managed to 'have a good day'

Love

Jenny

(member)

03/08/2008 11:32

Re: Feeling sad for OH

In my family we always phone each other about family birthdays and in particular when it is the OH birthday. I don't think boys or men do this kind of thing for themselves. I once posted a card and an envelope, ready stamped, to my daughter at university. The card said "Happy Birthday Grandma" and I slipped a piece of paper inside with an appropriate message which my daughter duly copied out onto the card, and posted. My mil, who thinks little of me, eulogised for ages about what a lovely granddaughter she had. Duty first.

Contact Us | Privacy statement

Woman and Home homepage