Hi Oscar

I've got a son just like your daughter and will be interested to see what advice comes your way. It seems from the replies so far that we're not alone.

My son is a bit further down the line than your daughter because he graduated in 2006 with a good degree in sociology from one of the red brick universities and has stacked shelves in a supermarket since he came home. He knows exactly what he doesn't want to do career wise but that's as far as it goes. He went to several careers fairs and to the careers service for advice, but was none the wiser for doing so.

When he came home we told him that we didn't mind what he did in the short-term so long as he did something - and two years on he's no further forward than shelf stacking so perhaps this wasn't the most sensible approach for us to take.

I keep telling myself that's he's got plenty of time to sort himself out, but the longer time goes on the harder it will be for him. He realises that this will be the case but at the moment he's in the comfort zone in so far as his hours are perfect in that they allow him to stay in bed until mid-morning - no getting up at 6.30am like his sister and my OH. The job he does is stress free, he earns enough for him to pay us rent, contribute towards the running of the car he uses, save a bit and socialise to his hearts content so there's no great impetus for him to move on. Like your daughter he needs help but doesn't know where to get it from.

My other two children (both girls) also found the university careers service sadly lacking, and I know that they would have been far more pro-active in asking for guidance than their brother and would not have given up at the first attempt. The eldest completed a PGCE after her english degree but decided that teaching wasn't for her and actually worked as a Medical Secretary when she came home after travelling for 6 months. She'd done this during the university holidays via an agency and the hospital was more than happy to have her back on a permanent basis. She stayed for about 6 months then transferred to another hospital about 50 miles away because she had the offer of a flat with an old school friend. Like your daughter she didn't know where her long-term future lay (although like her brother she knew what she didn't want to do) and it took her about 18 months to decide that she'd be happy in some sort of administrative role in local government. She's now settled into a good job which she loves with a local authority and is living with her boyfriend, so although it took her sometime to find her niche she did get there in the end.

My other daughter who did a sociology degree and was very focussed in searching for a job spent the last few months of her time at university applying for graduate positions with recruitment agencies and was due to start on a graduate training scheme with one of the big companies based in London in the October. She came back home to live in the meantime and through a friend found a job with a local charitable organisation who needed some short term help whilst they reorganised their human resource department. She loved it from day one and realised that being a recruitment consultant wasn't what she wanted at all. When her temporary contract came to an end she was offered a full time position which she accepted and since then she has had several promotions and will complete her CIPD this year.

In her case she fell into a job she loves by accident and doesn't see herself moving away from working in human resource management.

I wish something similar would happen for my son but this doesn't seem very likely at the moment