(member)

17/06/2008 22:39

Help! Advice to a bride-to-be

What advice would you give to someone who is just about to get married?

My daughter is getting married in two weeks’ time and her best friend wants to put together some advice to give her. Any ideas, girls? Please keep it reasonably clean as it’s going to be read out in church!

(member)

17/06/2008 22:49

Re: Help! Advice to a bride-to-be

Apart from the obvious!!

Get him 'men are from mars women are from venus' but change the front cover to loaded, FHM, Nuts or something similar and then give it to him.

That's it really.

Now I really am going!!

(member)

18/06/2008 08:43

Re: Help! Advice to a bride-to-be

They MUST get her 'Dont's for Wives 1913'. It's a little red book that you can get from Waterstones. It's normally on the counter by the till. My Mum bought it for me at Christmas and I've just given one to my friend whose getting married next month.

I'm sure that she'll be grateful to know that 'Nothing pains a man more than finding only a cold welcome when he brings home a chum.....' or 'Don't grumble because your husband insists on wearing an old coat in the house....'

It's a wonderful look at how things used to be and will make both her and her husband smile!

Hope you all have a wonderful day.

(member)

18/06/2008 10:57

Re: Help! Advice to a bride-to-be

When my niece got married last year my brother-in-law, her dad, took her and her fiance aside separately and had an old-fashioned talk with them. One of the things he told them, and which he used in his speech, is that if you can put up with each other's irritating habits over the years then you will be all right. I thought about it and realised he is right. When you have been together a long time an initially adorable mannerism, or way of talking, can become a huge irritant later on and you have to find a way of living with it.

(member)

18/06/2008 12:55

Re: Help! Advice to a bride-to-be

At a wedding we attended the brides father declared that it had take them more than 20 years but he and his wife were now sexually compatible - they now get their headaches on the same night :-)

(member)

18/06/2008 13:19

Re: Help! Advice to a bride-to-be

Be nice to each other! it sounds simple but often we take one another for granted or in the heat of a moment say unkind things. Just keep repeating 'be nice, be nice'!!

(member)

18/06/2008 13:30

Re: Help! Advice to a bride-to-be

A row is just a row, anyone who says they never have a disagreement is lying!

(member)

18/06/2008 16:45

Help! Advice for a bride-to-be

Thanks everyone for your replies so far, I knew you would come up trumps! Please keep your suggestions coming! I will certainly look out for the book, Chicketarian.

(member)

18/06/2008 16:52

Re: Help! Advice for a bride-to-be

Whenever they are feeling really fed up with the other, just take a moment to imagine how awful it would be if the 'other half' were no longer there.

If I'm grumpy and irritated by my hubby I imagine how awful it would be without him and it puts it all into perspective.

(member)

18/06/2008 18:18

Re: Help! Advice for a bride-to-be

I echo all of the above but would add two more. (which I have found out to my cost!)
1. Never stop kissing!
2. Never go to bed on an argument.

Best wishes for the day x

(member)

18/06/2008 19:00

Re: Help! Advice for a bride-to-be

Don't take each other for granted.

(member)

18/06/2008 19:39

Re: Help! Advice for a bride-to-be

My best friend wrote this to me in a card on my wedding day;

To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut up.
---------Ogden Nash

some more on this website;

http://www.great-inspirational-quotes.com/wedding-quotes.html

(member)

18/06/2008 21:58

Re: Help! Advice for a bride-to-be

Hi mcdizzy, I've heard the Ogden Nash one before but there are some great quotes on the site you mentioned. Thanks a lot, that's a great help!

(member)

19/06/2008 09:36

Re: Help! Advice for a bride-to-be

http://www.imag-e-nation.com/wedding_day_verses_poems_quotes.htm

This site has some quotes and little phrases for wedding day.
My daughter gets married in Novemember and I am compiling a little book of poems and readings .

Google Wedding quotes, poems and readings and a whole load will come up. There are some that are a bit cheesey, but there are others that are very appropriate.

Flo

(member)

19/06/2008 19:04

Re: Help! Advice for a bride-to-be

Thanks, Flo, I'll try that. Don't know why I didn't goggle it before!

(member)

20/06/2008 08:46

Re: Help! Advice for a bride-to-be

When a friend got married my DH was his best man and took him to the local for a pint before they set off for the church. There in the corner was a wise old man who had obviously been hugging his Guinness for most of the afternoon. When he saw DH and pal, he staggered over for some solid advice ....

"There's something that should happen as such an
auspic (hic!)ious occassion as this .... the swelling of the organ and the coming of the bride"!

Good luck and enjoy the wedding.

(member)

20/06/2008 10:55

Re: Help! Advice for a bride-to-be

Hi Norfolkbroad

We had a wedding card given to us with a 'recipe for a happy marriage' on it. Its a bit cheesy but made us smile

1 cup consideration
1 cup courtesy
2 cupfuls flattery carefully concealed
1 gallon faith and trust in each other
2 cupfuls praise
1 small pinch of in-laws
1 reasonable budget, a generous dash of cooperation
3 teaspoon pure extract of "I'm sorry"
1 cup contentment
1 cup each confidence and encouragement
1 large or several small hobbies
1 cup blindness to the other's faults

Flavour with frequent portions of recreation and a dash of happy memories. Stir well and remove any specks of jealousy, temper or criticism. Sweeten well with generous portions of love and keep warm with a steady flame of devotion. Never serve with cold shoulder.

I'm sure you could google this or similar.

Susan_Scripture

(member)

20/06/2008 17:25

Re: Help! Advice for a bride-to-be

As an ex-counsellor who used to do loads of marriage guidance, one thing I used a lot was the image of a table. Each one of us in a relationship is like one side of the table (or two legs if you think literally). Each person needs to work equally hard to keep the relationship (or the tabletop) straight so that it can be built on. Each person is an individual and should be treated as such, with space to do things apart from each other as well as together, that's why you have the tabletop between you = you are not one half of each other, the relationship is held up between you. And is it better to be right all the time and lonely or to be wrong and admit it and work at the relationship together. Looking at the relationship as a separate entity to each individual is a good way to look at it. I sometimes used the image of a bank account. How healthy is yours? Are you overdrawn or in credit and why? What can you do if you are overdrawn? A relationship is a lifetime investment after all. Another one I use in my relationship with my lovely husband is to imagine that he is in earshot if I'm talking about him. I'd hate to have him hear some of the things I want to say, but consequently don't say, except to him about him. Just in case you think I'm totally sickening and nauseating let me add that this is my third marriage so I have made many many mistakes in my life so far and I really appreciate my husband. You both need to speak each other's language, too. Learn to share love by giving your partner what he/she wants, not what you think he she wants.
Hope that helps!

xxxSuexxx

(member)

20/06/2008 17:51

Re: Help! Advice for a bride-to-be

Thanks to all of you for your sound - and sometimes funny - advice!

Cathy

(member)

21/06/2008 05:23

Re: Help! Advice for a bride-to-be

An american friend of mine gave the advice "never go to bed on an argument"..but if you really can't face apologising just...touch toes!!

(member)

21/06/2008 17:35

Re: Help! Advice for a bride-to-be

This was the one I used on my nephews card

Now you’ve chosen to marry, always remember each of
you are deserving of the courtesies
and the kindnesses you bestow on your friends, for it is better to bend a
little than to break.

(member)

29/06/2008 10:48

Re: Help! Advice to a bride-to-be

i agree if you can survive irritating habits (leaving a spoon in sink so when you turn the tap on the splashback hits you in the eye..) then you must have a strong relationship. Strangely enough he says I don't irritate him,there are some days when I could hit him over the head with a saucepan and bury the evidence. Second piece of advice remember men don't suffer with hormones.

no marriage is perfect, but remember to laugh with one another (as well as at one another occasionally).If you have a husband who will go to the petrol station for chocolate late at night for you,and you buy him a curry when you can't stand the smell,then you stand a good chance of having a long and happy life together.

(member)

10/07/2008 13:58

Re: Help! Advice to a bride-to-be

'never go to bed on an argument' that's what we were advised when we got engaged from more than one couple - of varying ages!

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