(member)

15/05/2008 16:26

Just to fill you allin.

Hi girls.
Sorry i didn't get back to you last night but i was a bit drained.
I rang around a few collegues and then i rang my friend to see how she was. i ended up going round to see her as she was on her own because her OH had gone over to get her mum.
She cried for a long time and i found it hard to find the right words to be honest. She said that although she was shocked by what her sister had done, she wasn't suprised.
She had been very depressed and had confided in their other sister that she could see no reason to go on. She wanted to be with her husband and baby son. In some ways i can understand that. She had called a friend in the morning to arrange for her to come for a chat in the afternoon. It was the friend who found her. she had left a letter explaining what she had done and why. So sad. And a shock for her friend as well.
I spoke to my friend at lunchtime. She is going up to Newcastle with her mum and sister to sort everything out. Her sister lived there.
She still didn't know what she had taken exactly but she suspects sleeping pills as she had been prescribed them by the doctor although hadn't been taking them.
My friend was much better today. she is very strong and a do-er, so she will take charge of all the arrangements very capably.
She said to me last night that although she loved her sister in a funny way she was glad she was with her husband and baby as its where she will be happy again.
my friend has such guts to say that, don't you think.
Antway thanks everyone for the support last night. I needed a friend and you were all there. I'll never forget you for that.
I woke up feeling very blessed this morning and i hugged my kids and OH just a bit longer than ususl.
This whole thing has made me even more determined to patch things up with my own sister now. Life is too short to have bad feelings.
Love and special wishes are winging their way to all of you.
Barb XXXXXXXXX

(member)

15/05/2008 16:35

Re: Just to fill you allin.

Hi Barb..wondered how you were doing today....your friend is being very strong..Im sure once the funeral is out of the way she will then have her time..maybe now she is sorting everything out to keep her going...I have such admiration for her... Im sure you are supporting her the best you can...and there is nothing you can say..just being there will be enough for her...xx

(member)

15/05/2008 16:43

Re: Just to fill you allin.

Hi Barb, Hats off to you, your friend is lucky to have you, your support will be remembered by her for a long time. Thank you for the update. I have been thinking of your friend and her family today and hoping they find the strength they need to get through the next few weeks and months.
All the best
Vicksxx

(member)

15/05/2008 16:52

Re: Just to fill you allin.

Barb...you really are a friend in deed in more ways than one. Your friend and her family have some tough times ahead and I pray they find the strength to cope.
I am so pleased you are renewing your efforts to regain contact with your own sister. I truly hope she responds to your reaching out.
Sending you all much love

(member)

15/05/2008 16:53

Re: Just to fill you allin.

Have been out all day, but couldnt stop thinking about you today, ratfink.
I'm glad you went round to see your friend, I'm sure she really appreciated it. She is being very brave. I wish her courage to deal with the terrible grief- I'm sure she will be OK with the help of family and good friends like you x

(member)

15/05/2008 17:17

Re: Just to fill you allin.

Ratfink
I too have been thinking about you today and wondering how you are. Your friend sounds as if she is coping well. It will be hard on all of you over the next few weeks.

Thinking of you and hope that you have the courage to cope with this.

BB xx

(member)

15/05/2008 17:17

Re: Just to fill you allin.

Ratfink-it really doesn't matter what you say or don't say-she'll remember you being there more than any words I would think.
Tough times ahead-best wishes

XX

(member)

15/05/2008 17:21

Re: Just to fill you allin.

Just following your heart is the right thing.
Thinking of you,

(member)

15/05/2008 17:45

Re: Just to fill you allin.

Ratfink, reading your post made me cry, its all so sad, and it certainly encourages us to show our love for our nearest and dearest whenever we can. I wihs I had a good friend like you. Plasmo xx

(member)

15/05/2008 18:18

Re: Just to fill you allin.

Hola barb your friend is so lucky to have you as a friend .Please give her hugs from Spain

(member)

15/05/2008 18:27

Re: Just to fill you allin.

Yes Barb...do make it up with your sister. Look after yourself too...

Alison x

(member)

15/05/2008 20:33

Re: Just to fill you allin.

Hi Ratfink
Thanks for posting, I was wondering how you all were.
Foxie x.

(member)

15/05/2008 20:34

Re: Just to fill you allin.

Hi Barb, as said on another thread, life is too short. Hope you make it up with your sister.
xx

(member)

15/05/2008 22:19

Re: Just to fill you allin.

Thanks for keeping us posted. Wishing everyone the strength to get through this. When I was sad and pensive last night I told my OH why, and he said how lovely it was that there were so many ladies to 'talk' to and confide in and he hoped having us there was helping. Hope so too. xx

(member)

15/05/2008 22:47

Re: Just to fill you allin.

Barb

Haven't been on the site for a while, but saw your post and want to say how sorry I am about what has happened.

I imagine all of us can feel that life isn't worth living after a tragic bereavement, but if you're able to go on one day at a time, sometimes it can even become bearable.

Like many others I will pray for the family and for you - a true and good friend.

Best wishes

Jenny

(member)

16/05/2008 13:01

Re: Just to fill you allin.

Thanks for the update ratfink, I was wondering how you were doing. Your friend will appreciate you being there. I hope that you and your sister patch things up. You are a good friend so I'm sure you'll be a great sister.

(member)

16/05/2008 18:09

Re: Just to fill you allin.

Hi ratfink, just read about this tragedy that your friend is going through, and I think that by physically going round to see her, and just being there will have been of great comfort to her. It makes us all shudder to think of the anguish and torment that this young women has been through, we all want to hold our own families close to us, and draw strength from their presence. You are a strong person, and a great friend. I hope this awful situation can be used to turn your realationship with your sister round. Best wishes x

(member)

17/05/2008 09:15

Re: Just to fill you allin.

good morning all.
all of your messages of good wishes and support are very much appreciated. I spoke to my friend again this morning, she is fine. They are awaiting toxicoligy (?sp) reports for her sister but she is certain from the letter her sister left and what they found that she took sleeping tablets. The police have had to be involved which she found a bit shocking but they are satisfied that she took her own life and my friend said they were very kind and helpful.
The feeling in her family is that although they wish they could have done more for her, she is where she wants to be.
they must be very selfless people who obviously loved her very much.
My friend will be staying up in Newcastle until after the funeral which will probably be Friday.
Her BIL's family are equally devestaed by what has happened and they are staying with them. He was from there.
As for my own sister, She informs me that she has written me a letter as she feels that email is'nt the appropriate method of communication for us. She is back in Saudi though so I've already been waiting over a week for her letter.
I am scaring the postman everyday by leaping out at him asking if there is anything for me.
The synic in me hopes she hasn't just said that to buy herself more time or so that she can pretend it got lost in the post.I will let you know.
I have been chatting with my very best friend about all this and she has also said what a good friend i am. It humbles me to know that people think that about me.
You lot on here can definatly say the same about yourselves. You have taken the time in your busy hectic lives to offer me support and comfort. You didn't have to, but you did. what a great bunch of girlies you are.
Even though i don't know any of you properly yet it is lovely to know that in this big bad world there are still loads of people who really care about others.
Thanks ladies, I salute you.
Much love and respect.
Barb XXXXX

(member)

17/05/2008 12:12

Re: Just to fill you allin.

Hi barb - I've just caught up on this thread, I've been wondering how your friend is doing. It's amazing that her family are able to take some comfort in the fact that she's where she wants to be. You are a very good friend and I hope that your sister is able to see you for who you are and not let old family stuff get in the way. I hope her letter to you is healing. If it's not though please remember that sometimes that other person just can't see beyond themselves. I hope you get the letter soon. x

(member)

17/05/2008 12:23

Re: Just to fill you allin.

Thanks for letting us know how your friend is ratfink. My thoughts are still with her.
I hope your letter arrives soon and it is what you want hear. Remember ratfink, we will be here to support you.

perry

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