(member)

15/05/2008 09:12

Titles

Do you use one? Does it annoy you when asked for one? Does it frustrate you when you HAVE to give one?

I don't use a prefix (Miss/Ms/Mrs/Doctor) ... I have my name and that is what I identify with. Any further form of classification is unecessary as far as I'm concerned.

I am married, but find it utterly irrelevant when placing an order for instance, after giving my name, to be asked "is that Miss or Mrs". "I don't use a prefix" I'll reply .... simple enough you'd imagine, but the amount of blank looks I get back, and often as not some hostility.

Or when ordering something over the phone ... "is that Miss or Mrs" .... "I don't use a prefix" ..... "But I have to put something in, the system won't let me continue otherwise".

I find it such an incredibly old-fashioned method of address ... what on earth does it matter if one is married or not .. it doesn't apply to men, why does it apply to women. It harks back to the days when women were considered chattle (still are by some blokes!).

Does it annoy you? Or is it just me?!

(member)

15/05/2008 09:34

Re: Titles

Lady Willow I am confused here!!!
Sorry but you have disillusioned me as I thought you used your title on the forum your Ladyship!! Do you mean to tell us you are an imposter and not really a titled lady?
Seriously I see your point. Why not use your "forum title" when next filling forms and see what response you get.

(member)

15/05/2008 09:40

Re: Titles

Hi LadyWillow, You forgot one..... the ubiquitous Ms!! That one annoys me, and can be found everywhere!!

(member)

15/05/2008 09:54

Re: Titles

Rachel - I have been known to use "Lady"! If there's a drop down menu and I HAVE to choose one to precede, then I may choose "Lady" or "Duke" or whatever else my cursor is hovering over.

My forum name is to celebrate the feminine and nature - nowt to do with the "class system"

(member)

15/05/2008 10:16

Re: Titles

It gets even worse when you are divorced

Before I married Mr Ding, I would give my name to people as "Jane Smith" (name changed to protect the guilty!) They would then ask "Is that Miss or Mrs?" to which I would reply "Well, technically, it's Mrs, but it's a long time since there was a Mr Smith"

They probably thought I'd done him in!!!

(member)

15/05/2008 10:29

Re: Titles

Lady Willow I think your forum name is lovely and knew it wasn't to do with being pretentious.
Glad to hear you do rebel when the opportunity arises when giving your details.
Chatelaine I agree Ms is particularly irritating. How it's pronounced Mzzzzz.

(member)

15/05/2008 10:33

Re: Titles

I don't mind either way. I'm proud to be married and calling myself Mrs. is definately better than Ms which people thought I should use post divorce and pre marriage to No. 2 Hubby.

(member)

15/05/2008 10:37

Re: Titles

Rachel, you hit the nail on the head!!! It is that Mzzzzz sound that's like nails on a blackboard!!!!

AAAARRGGGHHHH!!!

(member)

15/05/2008 10:57

Re: Titles

I use Miss but if I don't say, then things always come to Mrs.

(member)

15/05/2008 12:33

Re: Titles

It gets even more confusing for me. I kept my maiden name when I got married, but everyone presumes I am Mrs (husbands name). I too say my christian name and surname and don't want a title.

(member)

15/05/2008 12:39

Re: Titles

I kept my own name after marraige too magwii so know where you're coming from.

I'm also surprised when asked for my "Christian" name (I'm not one). I remember a telephoneconversation with a doctors' receptionist when she asked for the same. I very nicely and friendly pointed out that she ought not to ask for a Christian name and should ask for a forename. I said I could be Muslim for after all ..... "You don't sound Muslim" she said sharply. Which left me rather speechless!

(member)

15/05/2008 12:40

Re: Titles

Can't stand the Ms either Chatelaine....I always want to say that actually I'm just me....

(member)

15/05/2008 12:50

Re: Titles

O don't get me started! Then they ask your religion and your colour (confidential of course!!!) - I don't need/want a label

(member)

15/05/2008 14:34

Re: Titles

I worked hard for my Doctorate a few years ago so always use it in work, and much to my family's amusement I have twice been on trains when the call has gone up "is there a doctor on board?" Not being a medical doctor I kept the head down!

My YS comment when I was awarded my Doctorate was that it would come in very handy when he needed a sick note for school. Needless to say I soon disabused him of that notion.

As to Mrs I too am proud of being a Mrs so I always use it, but don't know what I would use if that wasn't the case.

(member)

15/05/2008 14:41

Re: Titles

I have been told I can be right madam...is that the same

Used to have a 97 yr old patient that insisted on being called Dr..and a similarly aged gentleman who we had to call Captain....excuse me but I did find this most bizarre!!!....I suppose being proud of your background is a good thing...but some people just cant let it go and I did feel he felt we were his privates..and should scurry around after him...Of course I kept the upmost professional attitude..muttering under my breath!!!!

(member)

15/05/2008 15:14

Re: Titles

How about it when your OH is Mr P Perfect and you are Mrs I M Perfect and you receive a letter addressed to Mrs P Perfect!

That one REALLY gets my goat! I have my own First name you know!

TT
x

(member)

15/05/2008 15:37

Re: Titles

I have to admit I am old fashioned in this respect - I love it when people (usually receptionists when I have an appointment somewhere) call me Mrs.....it makes me feel a little bit proud, especially if my OH is with me.How soft is that?
I can't stand being addressed as Ms....

But worse of all is when strangers (assistants in a certain well known high street optician's chain spring to mind) call me by my first name, especially if it is in public. Not that my first name is embarrassing or anything like that, but it just seems a bit disrespectful and personal to be addressed informally in certain situations.

Blimey, I expect I'm going to be a right miserable old woman!!

(member)

15/05/2008 15:46

Re: Titles

Tigerfrof - that really gets my goat too! And when you get a letter to Mr & Mrs P Perfect! How does one initial stretch to two people.

But Miclor ... I agree, I get annoyed when sales people and the like use my first name about 20 times in 2 minutes! They've obviously been on a workshop!

However, unlike some of you, I like the way Ms sounds... I think it's snappy and sassy and makes a nice sound in the mouth.

Now a question .. a genuine one and coming from a nice place, I'm not being sarky or anything! Several of you have said you feel "proud" to be married. If any of you feel like explaining why, I'd be really intersted to read your thoughts. I'm married, but I'm not proud of it, neither ashamed of course. Pride of marital status isn't something I've every thought of, or really heard of ... so I'd be genuinely interested to hear your thoughts/reasons.

(member)

15/05/2008 15:59

Re: Titles

Oooh LadyWillow that's got me thinking...I suppose when I say I'm proud to be called Mrs, for me it's not the legal status of being married, but pride by association. I'm immensely proud of my OH and so when someone calls me by his name, I feel good. I think I feel the same when we're out together and someone calls my OH "Mr...", I think "ooh that sounds nice".

(member)

15/05/2008 16:10

Re: Titles

I have always thought of myself as a Ms and used this whenever practical before marriage, during marriage and after marriage. Have never understood why my marital status should be important to complete strangers. I have no problem if I am called Mrs or Miss, but if someone asks me whether it's Miss Mrs or Ms I have always said Ms.

(member)

15/05/2008 16:35

Re: Titles

I never use Mrs, I always give my forename and surname only, every credit card I have has just the two names on them and it's an abbreveated version of my full forename too, I have never had a problem with it, if I fill in a form and need to, I put Mrs. - what the hell I'm married and I love being part of my man, so I don't give a jot or a second thought about it, as It makes no difference to the quality of my life.

You know, I am obviously too chilled to be real!!!

(member)

15/05/2008 16:42

Re: Titles

The Germans have got this right, I think. Every female is 'Frau', married, single, divorced, or whatever. Much better.

Mind you it took me a while to get used to being called it, when I first came here!

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