I too take antidepressants after some recurrances of the episodes with panic attacks despite counselling. I used to feel asahamed of this but a chat with my Practice Nurse helped me realise that depression isn't such a bad thing and more of a chemical imbalance. She too was on long term antidepressants. Hearing this was like a weight off my shoul,ders and I now take a low dose antdepressant regularly. I am more open about this now but not to everyone obviously. It's not a failure but a strength to cope with this.