Hi MOP

,It's an awful shock when you make this kind of discovery isn't it? I do feel for you.

Way back in 1978,I had a sudden,without any warning whatsoever,massive Epileptic Fit. I was 25 years old. After an initial stay in hospital,it was confirmed via various tests that I had indeed developed epilepsy. Both my parents,brothers and myself were bitterly disappointed,
confused and dejected that it had happened. However,after a long talk with the exceptionally kind consultant,who explained that these things do happen and can happen to anybody at anytime no matter how well they feel,I was prescribed anti-depressants. The question was asked how long I would need them,and the reply was a minimum of a year and a maximum was for life.

Stupidly,a year later,I had had enough of taking tablets and feeling old and different,so I stopped,just like that. Needless to say,I had another massive attack within days,and this time the consultant still very kindly,but very very firmly told me that I must expect to be on them for life. I cried for days.

Still, there is a sort of happy ending,in as much as initially my tablets were 100g and 200 gram they are now 30 gram and 100mg,but that appears to be the final settling limit. Also,about 19 years ago,I had an sudden attack while washing up,I knew I was going to fall and the floor was quarry tiled so I aimed successfully for the dog basket. My ED,who was about to go to her Saturday job,rang the ambulance,but by the time the crew turned up I was sitting on the floor having a glass of water. I was taken to hospital,and was so pleased when the consultant I saw told me that as I hadn't lost consciousness,my body was fighting back. Six months later and no attack,the gram dosage of my tablets was reduced,and dropped steadly thereafter until they reached the point they are now,as mentioned above.

My advice to you would be to take your doctor's advice,carry on with your prescribed medicine and to say to yourself 'To hell with it,there is no shame in feeling as I have done,that's life.' You never know,your acceptance may just be the answer you are really looking for. Who knows the day may then come when you are told 'Mrs 'MOP' we are going to reduce your medication again. If it doesn't,don't worry,because everything comes to those who wait.

Thinking of you and fully understanding.

Annemari x