Thanks lily, This is just the thing I was thinking about. After all the rows and door slamming this has all come to light with my daughter.
She is finding it very difficult to trust anyone therefore finding relationships difficult and is reluctant to trust anyone. Shes just started to visit a counseller and its come to light that things have gone on that OH and I were unaware of for example when she was little someone told her to put her hand on a wire and it had 10 volts going through it on an electric fence.
Theres been lot of other things that have come out with friends children we were had no knowledge of and she's carried the anxieties all this time. Thanks for your words of encouragement, its given me hope