Thanks everyone - just writing about it helped me clear my mind and I now have a plan.

I've spoken to the Conulstant Orthodontist's secretary and if we change dentists they will simply write to whoever we are registered with. She confirmed my suspicion that there never was a missed appointment, which makes me very angry - an honest mistake is one thing, but I can't forgive such an unprofessional lie as I was told by the dentist. Once the extraction is done, the consultant, who has a good reputation, will do all the actual orthodontic work.

I have insisted on going to see our dentist today - I was told she was too busy to talk to me, but I said that if she didn't see me I would go down to the surgery and make a fuss until she does - and that I'm considering reporting her to the local Health Authority. I will ask her to refer my d. the the hospital for the extraction, but if she is unable or unwilling to do that then I have registered with a new private practice which has been recommended to me by someone I trust, and they will do the extraction.

They also have a dental care plan which is actually not that much dearer than the NHS - probably about twice what I'm spending at the moment, and one of the dentists there specialises in orthodontics, so if there are any emergency problems, he will deal with them.

So I'm stll very angry, but at least a bit less confused than I felt in the small hours of this morning. Thank you for your replies Skippy and susieb and Ozzie - I think bringing problems to the forum always helps, if only because it makes you ask yourself what advice you would give someone in the same position!