Hi Gilda and welcome to the forum - I can't give you any words of wisdom because I have never been in your position but I can tell you that you have made a very positive step in joining this forum. Everyone is very friendly and there are supper clubs and book clubs to be joined and meets to attend. I know this may not be what you want at the moment but be kind to youself - give youself time to come to terms with what has happened and then start joining in. Look after youself pamper youself a bit and life will eventually seem a bit better. A big virtual hug from Olisa.