Hello, this is my first posting and I am looking for some advice from anyone whose been there too. After 9 years of working so hard to get my partner to open up and let me in I had to face the fact that he did not love me as much as I loved him. I started going to therapy last autumn to 'fix myself' so that I could make my man happy but as the sessions progressed I realised I would never change him and I was just hurting myself by staying in an unhappy relationship. After a particularly bad day, I lost my temper and asked him if he wanted us to separate. He said yes, I panicked. After a few weeks I got over the shock and actually saw it as a good thing for both of us. I was helped in that decision by him telling his friends that he was leaving me - this in front of me. Last week he moved his stuff out and I feel really tearful, exhausted and daunted at the thought of being single again after so long. I live in a tiny rural village but have a long commute each day to work in a city. I'm 39. Does anyone have any feel-good stories please? I only have a couple of good friends ( I made the mistake of making my man the centre of my universe) and they are both married.