DebBee

Like gre1958 your story could have been mine a year or so ago. My beautiful YD was a nightmare to live with - all the things you described plus more. Every time I forgave her and poured oil on the troubled waters. Then I realised that I was making it worse by forgiving so easily ( hard not to when you love them so much) SO... I told her one day after a particularly nasty verbal assault from her that I would no longer tolerate her behaviour, which was making me ill, and said if she walked out the door then I would bolt it and take her key back. She walked out and I locked the door behind her. The hardest part was not knowing where she was living or if she was ok. At one stage she said I had to choose between her or my OH ( her step father ). I refused on the grounds that I can, and do, love them both. Slowly, very slowly she accepted that her behaviour would not be tolerated and with a few hiccups along the way we built our bridges, and I stood firm on the rules of the house. I cried so many tears and it was definately two steps forward and one back.

However, the young lady who has just visited us for Sunday dinner, bringing with her a gift for me, was my darling YD -grown into a wonderful woman.

We recognise that we get on so much better apart and thats how it has to be. YD is still only 20 and after getting and losing a few jobs along the way and staying at friends houses she now lives with a friend, has two jobs, pays rent and runs a car.

I never stopped loving her and it is a joy to spend time with her now.

Am sending you a bucket of strength to get you through this awful time.

If you need to chat anytime feel free to PM me.