Regarding the finances, don't think you are alone on this, going to Uni is very expensive. We did a deal with ours we paid the accommodation fees and they had to pay for everything else out of their student loan. They both had holiday jobs and we muddled along, we absolutely hate debt and my daughter still has hers !! however she doesnt have a credit card or overdraft. Son however doesnt manage very well and has an overdraft as well....we have had to grit our teeth over this. Friends of ours pay for absolutely everything at uni for their kids (sometimes a car)!!! and one even organised Tesco to delivery his groceries....
Just do whats right for you - it is worth it in the end