It's a very disheartening situation, and perhaps all your friend can do is accept it as if she would have to if the money had been stolen from her in a robbery, and she had no insurance cover. That, and remember that, in life, in the end, what goes around comes around, and that one day 'justice will be served' on the man.

Also, thinking about it, after all, if he really does come from a very poor background, he may well argue to himself that he has no obligation whatsoever to return money to a woman who lives in a rich country, and has had a material life so, so much better than his own. Poverty changes morality in ways that those who are not that poor can't often appreciate - he may geninely feel he has no obligation to repay the money, any more than, perhaps, we might feel we have to bankrupt ourselves in order to repay a loan we borrowed from someone who is a millionaire....

I appreciate the website can't actively help, but they really MUST put out a warning on it, and say that some of the members have had loans unrepaid, and to warn every newcomer to it NOT to do so unless the loan is actually a gift, which is what it's going to prove to be!

When it comes to scams, we always have to remember that the perpetrator is, obviously, very convincing, and can produce hard luck stories (real or otherwise) that seem extremely plausible. After all, if they seemed like 'dodgy geezers' no one would be suckered at all, would they?

It is to your friend's personal credit that she was kind and generous and took pity on this man, and I hope that by the same justice that he will get his, so she will be rewarded for her kindness at some point.

Julie.