With a one year old child I'm not surprised you feel your marriage is flat. There's a whole lot of rubbish in the media about how you can sail through having babies etc and still have a hot sex life blah blah blah, but for the vast majority of families that's just rubbish.

If your marriage is survive you need to re-invent it. Do an audit, take stock, and, as above, hire a babysitter or better still a relative, and get out for the evneing, bretter still a night away in a romantic hotel etc etc.

You say your husband has turned into a slob, but what about you? If you are still able to keep your body in trim (or get it back into trim post natal), and make the effort to look good (and it takes SO much effort with a baby!), then he should do the same.

Don't have an affair within the marriage, I definitely agree with that. What will it achieve? Nothing but the destruction of your marriage.

Surely it's worth trying to re-invent your marriage and revitalise it. If you give it your best shot, and it doesn't work, then dump your useless saddo husband (as that is the message coming across) and strike out on your own.

However, don't take this 'baby time' as the norm - it really isn't. Those of us with older children can look back now and wonder how we ever survived with small children -the stresses were enormous, though we were accustomed to them at the time.

Best (unless you have an affair!) - Julie.