"So why can people not reciprocate"

Give them one chance to reciprocate - two at a stretch, then draw a line and never EVER do them a favour again. If they are relatives, even more so! Annemari's stepson sounds a nightmare, and unless there's some 'dark reason' for it (eg, suppose Annemari was the one who broke up his parent's marriage)(many apologies if that's totally untrue! ) then there is no excuse for his behaviour. But a lot of children are selfish anyway.

I have a theory that selfish parents have unselfish children (because they've trained them to run around after them!) and unselfish parents have selfish children (because they've spent their lives pandering to them!).

As to the overall picture, in respect of friends and acquaintences, I have found great help and friendship amongst other mums at my son's schools - a good few of us 'got together' at primary school, with coffee mornings and so on, and for the most part everyone is kind and helpful, and it's mutually reciporcated. There are a couple who are 'users' but we have wised up to them now, and usually they don't get us to run around after them any more.

Julie.